As with all fetishes, there’s a lot more to this than what’s on the surface,,,if some soul searching is done one can usually come to a certain point where it began, and a few others along the way till you eventually wound up where your comfortable, where one way or another, you’ve arrived at where you always wanted to be sub-consciously, even if you weren’t aware of it.
I had a friend that was 37, who was a total masochist, after months of idle conversation he told me when he was 9 his parents were killed in a car accident and he went to live with his Aunt. When he was naughty she would pull down his pants, lay him across her lap and spank his bare bottom,,,by the time he was eleven he began getting hardons. Once she became aware she announced to him that he was becoming a man. The next time he did something punishable she did the usual, except this time she brought out a leather paddle. When he was 16 she just happened to be wearing shorts and felt his dick between her legs, he was afraid she’d feel it and hit him harder, but she reached under her legs and began jerking him off,,,they had sex for a year and a half before he joined the Army to get away from her. To this day if he walks into a Harley Davidson store and goes over to the section where they sell leathers and motorcycle jackets he gets a chubby, in his regular sex life he’s totally submissive and if you want to fuck him he has to be spanked, preferably with some sort of leather paddle. To those who haven’t made peace with what and why they’re effected in different ways by different things, look to you past and try to establish various turning points in your life,,,”as the twig is bent, so grows the tree”! Just remember, whatever conclusion you come to, just do you, it’s your life, you probably don’t get another one, so make sure you live this one,,,it’s kinda a balancing act, but once you begin it gets a lot easier, especially if you adopt the mantra of “it’s MY life damn it”!