Rule #1: Send out
positive messages!
Example of a
negative message: "i`ve gone through your browser history and run across ... can you explain me?"
First, it means you were spying on him. Maybe not intentional, but still. Second, he gets directly confronted and may feel with his back to the wall. Not seldom in such a case people are trying to make up excuses instead of speaking their minds. That can shut the door to making further steps or at least it will make it harder.
Example of a
positive message (that comes
from you!): "I got very horny the other day when you were not at home, so i looked up some porn tube site. I was surprised but some of those scenes were really hot and made me even wetter. I so wished you had been at home!"
You may find it not that easy to open up about watching porn. But on the other had you already know that
he does. So the chance he will be mad at you is actually very low. Plus, even if he will respond in a somewhat negative way, you can calm it down by asking the neutral/innocent question in return: "Have you never watched porn when you were on your own?" At that point he will have to rethink his reaction, calm down and admit something.
This conversation will open up the door for watching porn
together (if you don`t already do it from time to time).
The next
positive message could be: "I don`t do it regularly but sometimes it`s hot. But I would prefer watching porn
with you to doing it alone."
With an ex girlfriend of mine we did watch internet porn together during sex. It was by far not every time we were intimate, but every now and then, inbetween.
One game that we had played was to alternately choose the clip that looked most appealing from the dozens of suggestions that automatically popped up from the porn tube site. In the end that helped us a lot understand each others interests.
As a next step we did not only choose from suggestions but actively typed in terms into the site`s search feature, and tried to mix terms that would yield results that best matched both of our desires.
It also was a starting point for our kinky play that would include additional players. But that would be another story
