Beta white boy - How to tell my gf that I want to serve black men?

Okay, to start with. The cuckolding part has been there since I was 16 but the past two years I have generally felt more and more submissive. This got me to black men and bbc worship. I don’t feel like a faggot and I don’t want to be one. I love my girlfriend but is it wrong that I some times think of her with a real black dominant bull while I’m placed in a corner wearing a cage and a dog collar?

I really feel ashamed of myself but at the same time so turned on by the fact that I want to take orders, kneeling in front of a black man with my wife present, so that she can laugh and make me her servant.

Basically, I have come to conclusion that this is the ultimate goal with her. How do I introduce her to this with out scaring her?
 
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