YouDon’tOwnMe.MOV

JemmaNye&Herbi said:

I can understand that. Lol!

This brings up an interesting topic though, if it's something you care to discuss. I think I remember you saying he's your only bull, but you don't expect exclusivity from him, is that correct?

My wife is in a somewhat similar situation. She currently has a boyfriend she was mostly exclusive to (except for me, of course) during quarantine, but has opened up a little bit since, and will sometimes entertain other playmates now. Calling him a boyfriend now basically means they regularly make time for each other, they talk and hang out beyond just fucking, and he's the only one besides me she's fluid bonded with. She does enjoy sharing him with other women, and doesn't expect him to be monogamous or exclusive to her, but we've always felt weird about requests we sometimes get in our media comments, to provide other women or couples with the contact info of the men in the pics and videos. She's not possessive, but she doesn't care to be used as a matchmaking service for a man she's enjoyed being with. She might check out the media her boyfriend sometimes shares, but it's usually more to see what he's been up to during periods when they haven't been able to meet recently. She gets a (very small, harmless but undeniable) twinge of manageable jealousy when she sees him fucking other women, so she doesn't consume the media like porn. More like an impetus to schedule an overdue playdate, and a conversation point for their pillow talk.

I offer these details because I'm always curious about how others do things. Ask 10 people what this lifestyle is like and you'll get 10 very different answers, none of them wrong.

So, if you care to indulge me, dear @FrankiGoodGurl, the questions that come to my mind are things like: do you consider your husband a cuck, or more of a stag, and how do you differentiate between the two (or do you differentiate at all)? Do you consider @BlackInLA your bull? Your boyfriend? Something else? To what degree do you like to know about others he's with? Do you like (or enjoy the idea of) sharing him with others, or are you all about 1:1 play and QT with him alone? Maybe you like to know about them for your own peace of mind, but don't want to see it or hear the gory details? Or is it more of a don't-ask-don't-tell kind of policy?

Totally fine if this is none of my business and you don't want to discuss it. Obviously, these questions can all remain things your fans like me just wonder about sometimes. Also cool if you prefer to talk privately rather than publicly. Just curious is all!

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FrankiGoodGurl said:

Hey there! I’ll answer some here and some privately as @BlackInLA is much more private than me.

1) I consider my husband more of a stag in that he doesn’t get caged, doesn’t want chastity, and he wants to fuck me three times daily (but real life ON MY END gets in the way!). I suppose there is the smallest element of cuck only in that this fantasy was his and he fully endorses it - he likes watching my videos and taking about it during sex but he would prefer to be included (we tried that previously and I like playing alone and going on dates alone). He does not play himself though and is all about me having fun.

2) I do consider @BlackInLA as my boyfriend. Actions and all (and words).

3) I would love it but have never once asked him to be exclusive to me! I like knowing who, what, when and where and have also shared him with a woman; don’t mind at all watching his other videos, and I find it sexy. I do, like your beautiful wife, get a twinge of jealousy when I know it’s happening. But I get to hear about it and I like it that way.

3) I have had a couple of “asks” of him when it comes to other women that I believe is fair for being in what I consider a relationship. But as mentioned- that does not include exclusivity with me.

4) Also like your wife, I suppose my media endorses him way too much but I don’t want to play matchmaker either lol. Stay away!

Lastly, I really love having the best of both worlds with a fantastic husband of sooo many years now and what I consider a wonderful boyfriend.

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FrankiGoodGurl said:

Meh… people have their fantasies… I don’t mind the questions usually.

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curious28 said:

You are wonderful

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wannabee said:

Amazing video. I wish my wife and I had a master like this!

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FrankiGoodGurl said:

Thanks - and don’t give up!! It took me many years to agree to try this! Now I love it as is probably obvious from my media and comments!!

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FrankiGoodGurl said:

Thanks - and don’t give up!! It took me many years to agree to try this! Now I love it as is probably obvious from my media and comments!!

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JemmaNye&Herbi said:

This is such valuable and important advice. It took us several years as well. I see so many threads with men asking for advice on how to get his partner to agree to cuckold him, but there's no one set of steps that works for everyone. Just like every other part of a committed, long-term relationship, it has to happen organically.

I bet none of these men asked an internet forum how to convince their girlfriends to agree to marry them. If they did, I bet nobody said, "show her a bunch of videos of women getting married," or, "maybe get her really ******* and start talking to her about how hot you think it would be to see a wedding ring on her finger, to get her to warm up to the idea," or, "once you've dropped a few hints, have an ordained minister friend 'stop in unexpectedly' during your next date night, and have him tell her how badly he wants to see her in a wedding dress. Maybe the two of you work together to convince her to let him marry the fuck out of you both," or, "buy a realistic fake groom to get her used on having one, and use it as often as you can until she agrees to try the real thing." None of those is a universal shortcut to "help get [your] lady to agree to try marriage." If you want a healthy relationship, you don't trick a woman into changing her whole life to satisfy your secret desire to be a husband. You patiently cultivate trust, support, security, and act like a man she'll enjoy being around, until she can't imagine not being with you.

I think it truely is the same thing with exploring fantasies together, especially when they represent a major lifestyle choice you'd be making together as a couple. Whether your fantasy is to explore swinging, cuckoldry, a stag/vixen dynamic, some kind of BDSM, or whatever it is you're into, my wife and I firmly believe the only way to approach it in a healthy and sustainable way is to take the time and effort needed to get on the same page, putting your partner's well-being and the health of your relationship as your top priority, and cautiously exploring it together as partners when the time is right for both of you. Maybe that means talking about HER fantasies, and working on enough of them that the two of you become more comfortable talking about trying sexy ideas in general. Be a generous enough lover that she will WANT to explore your fantasies as well, to make sure the man who makes her so happy is just as happy with her. Show support and patience if she's at a point in life where sexual exploration isn't her foremost daily concern. Perhaps work to prioritize and grow intimacy, rather than spending all your time watching cuckold porn (or whatever it is you're into) and obsessing about being the guy in the fake movies.

I'm rambling for too long again. My point is basically that Franki nailed it (as usual) when she recommended patience and not being discouraged. Make room for new directions in your relationship to come about naturally, be open to finding a way that actually works for both of you, and make sure you can be patient, diligent, attentive, supportive, and persistent without being pushy. Regardless of where things go, I'll bet dollars to donuts it'll be in a positive direction, even if the destination turns out looking slightly different from the one you first pictured.

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JemmaNye&Herbi said:

This is such valuable and important advice. It took us several years as well. I see so many threads with men asking for advice on how to get his partner to agree to cuckold him, but there's no one set of steps that works for everyone. Just like every other part of a committed, long-term relationship, it has to happen organically.

I bet none of these men asked an internet forum how to convince their girlfriends to agree to marry them. If they did, I bet nobody said, "show her a bunch of videos of women getting married," or, "maybe get her really ******* and start talking to her about how hot you think it would be to see a wedding ring on her finger, to get her to warm up to the idea," or, "once you've dropped a few hints, have an ordained minister friend 'stop in unexpectedly' during your next date night, and have him tell her how badly he wants to see her in a wedding dress. Maybe the two of you work together to convince her to let him marry the fuck out of you both," or, "buy a realistic fake groom to get her used on having one, and use it as often as you can until she agrees to try the real thing." None of those is a universal shortcut to "help get [your] lady to agree to try marriage." If you want a healthy relationship, you don't trick a woman into changing her whole life to satisfy your secret desire to be a husband. You patiently cultivate trust, support, security, and act like a man she'll enjoy being around, until she can't imagine not being with you.

I think it truely is the same thing with exploring fantasies together, especially when they represent a major lifestyle choice you'd be making together as a couple. Whether your fantasy is to explore swinging, cuckoldry, a stag/vixen dynamic, some kind of BDSM, or whatever it is you're into, my wife and I firmly believe the only way to approach it in a healthy and sustainable way is to take the time and effort needed to get on the same page, putting your partner's well-being and the health of your relationship as your top priority, and cautiously exploring it together as partners when the time is right for both of you. Maybe that means talking about HER fantasies, and working on enough of them that the two of you become more comfortable talking about trying sexy ideas in general. Be a generous enough lover that she will WANT to explore your fantasies as well, to make sure the man who makes her so happy is just as happy with her. Show support and patience if she's at a point in life where sexual exploration isn't her foremost daily concern. Perhaps work to prioritize and grow intimacy, rather than spending all your time watching cuckold porn (or whatever it is you're into) and obsessing about being the guy in the fake movies.

I'm rambling for too long again. My point is basically that Franki nailed it (as usual) when she recommended patience and not being discouraged. Make room for new directions in your relationship to come about naturally, be open to finding a way that actually works for both of you, and make sure you can be patient, diligent, attentive, supportive, and persistent without being pushy. Regardless of where things go, I'll bet dollars to donuts it'll be in a positive direction, even if the destination turns out looking slightly different from the one you first pictured.

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JemmaNye&Herbi said:

Quick clarification: This characteristically long-winded diatribe is meant as a general observation about patterns I think are common on this site. It's not aimed directly at @wannabee or anyone else. I don't know other people's situations and I'm not saying anyone is doing it wrong. I just think it's pretty common to want a thing you see online, and forget that healthy relationships evolve over time. Just because a marriage or partnership looks one way today, it certainly doesn't mean it will always look that way.

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JemmaNye&Herbi said:

This is such valuable and important advice. It took us several years as well. I see so many threads with men asking for advice on how to get his partner to agree to cuckold him, but there's no one set of steps that works for everyone. Just like every other part of a committed, long-term relationship, it has to happen organically.

I bet none of these men asked an internet forum how to convince their girlfriends to agree to marry them. If they did, I bet nobody said, "show her a bunch of videos of women getting married," or, "maybe get her really ******* and start talking to her about how hot you think it would be to see a wedding ring on her finger, to get her to warm up to the idea," or, "once you've dropped a few hints, have an ordained minister friend 'stop in unexpectedly' during your next date night, and have him tell her how badly he wants to see her in a wedding dress. Maybe the two of you work together to convince her to let him marry the fuck out of you both," or, "buy a realistic fake groom to get her used on having one, and use it as often as you can until she agrees to try the real thing." None of those is a universal shortcut to "help get [your] lady to agree to try marriage." If you want a healthy relationship, you don't trick a woman into changing her whole life to satisfy your secret desire to be a husband. You patiently cultivate trust, support, security, and act like a man she'll enjoy being around, until she can't imagine not being with you.

I think it truely is the same thing with exploring fantasies together, especially when they represent a major lifestyle choice you'd be making together as a couple. Whether your fantasy is to explore swinging, cuckoldry, a stag/vixen dynamic, some kind of BDSM, or whatever it is you're into, my wife and I firmly believe the only way to approach it in a healthy and sustainable way is to take the time and effort needed to get on the same page, putting your partner's well-being and the health of your relationship as your top priority, and cautiously exploring it together as partners when the time is right for both of you. Maybe that means talking about HER fantasies, and working on enough of them that the two of you become more comfortable talking about trying sexy ideas in general. Be a generous enough lover that she will WANT to explore your fantasies as well, to make sure the man who makes her so happy is just as happy with her. Show support and patience if she's at a point in life where sexual exploration isn't her foremost daily concern. Perhaps work to prioritize and grow intimacy, rather than spending all your time watching cuckold porn (or whatever it is you're into) and obsessing about being the guy in the fake movies.

I'm rambling for too long again. My point is basically that Franki nailed it (as usual) when she recommended patience and not being discouraged. Make room for new directions in your relationship to come about naturally, be open to finding a way that actually works for both of you, and make sure you can be patient, diligent, attentive, supportive, and persistent without being pushy. Regardless of where things go, I'll bet dollars to donuts it'll be in a positive direction, even if the destination turns out looking slightly different from the one you first pictured.

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