Ask her who her celebrity crush is. Try to get 3-5 celebrity, pornstar, or athlete crush fantasy in her head. Ask her if she'd fuck them if given a chance. Send her picks of her crushes. Tell her it would be so hot if she hooked up with them.
Where to start with my wife?
- Thread starter anthonytimmerm
- Start date
anthonytimmerm
Male
UPDATE
So somewhere last week; we had a real conversation about the fantasy and what I'd really like. Unlike the initial reactions she had when we spoke about this (as mentioned above), she actually got pretty upset this time. Now, we talked about it some more the day after and again yesterday. She's quite upset about it and a couple of topics come up:
1. She doesn't understand why I would want to share. She would never want to share me with other women.
2. She's "been there done that" when it comes to experimenting with sexuality and doesn't want to now.
3. She's worried about me pursuing these things anyway and then outside our marriage. I'm younger than she (33 vs 38) and have not "been there and done that" and she's worried about that. It's also a trust thing, as a few years ago (after we just got together) it became apparent that her ******* cheated on her mom and her brother to his wife... so she's quite open about the fact that this plays a serious role in her mind.
4. We've had quite a downer in our sex life for some years actually. This was after our ******* was born, but then kind of enhanced when her parents ended up in a very, very nasty divorce. This effects is in two ways: (i) she is very insecure about her body. Her stomach is not firm and smooth any more, where it always was. And she hates this. She doesn't like her body image and it's very hard to convince her that she's beautiful and it's mostly just in her head. And (ii) our sex life really in the last half year picked up again. She literally said that she'd really be unhappy if she would have sex with another guy.
Now, there was some emotion in this. I've ready a lot of threads on this process and most of the responses I guess are fairly common. Especially the first one. I guess this will take some time (or never materialise).
My plan is to 'lay low' for a while now. I've been able to explain my fantasy more and why I would like it. I've expressed my 1000% committment to her very clearly and frequently. I guess for now I just need to let it sink in with her and see what happens after a while and if she'll bring it up again.
But, I'm reaching out for advice anyway. Does the above story sound familiar with anybody.
Any advice in how to proceed?
I'm kind of reluctant for now to bring it up again, as she's been clear and I don't want to appear pushy.
So somewhere last week; we had a real conversation about the fantasy and what I'd really like. Unlike the initial reactions she had when we spoke about this (as mentioned above), she actually got pretty upset this time. Now, we talked about it some more the day after and again yesterday. She's quite upset about it and a couple of topics come up:
1. She doesn't understand why I would want to share. She would never want to share me with other women.
2. She's "been there done that" when it comes to experimenting with sexuality and doesn't want to now.
3. She's worried about me pursuing these things anyway and then outside our marriage. I'm younger than she (33 vs 38) and have not "been there and done that" and she's worried about that. It's also a trust thing, as a few years ago (after we just got together) it became apparent that her ******* cheated on her mom and her brother to his wife... so she's quite open about the fact that this plays a serious role in her mind.
4. We've had quite a downer in our sex life for some years actually. This was after our ******* was born, but then kind of enhanced when her parents ended up in a very, very nasty divorce. This effects is in two ways: (i) she is very insecure about her body. Her stomach is not firm and smooth any more, where it always was. And she hates this. She doesn't like her body image and it's very hard to convince her that she's beautiful and it's mostly just in her head. And (ii) our sex life really in the last half year picked up again. She literally said that she'd really be unhappy if she would have sex with another guy.
Now, there was some emotion in this. I've ready a lot of threads on this process and most of the responses I guess are fairly common. Especially the first one. I guess this will take some time (or never materialise).
My plan is to 'lay low' for a while now. I've been able to explain my fantasy more and why I would like it. I've expressed my 1000% committment to her very clearly and frequently. I guess for now I just need to let it sink in with her and see what happens after a while and if she'll bring it up again.
But, I'm reaching out for advice anyway. Does the above story sound familiar with anybody.
Any advice in how to proceed?
I'm kind of reluctant for now to bring it up again, as she's been clear and I don't want to appear pushy.
Here are some thoughts...
It is important not to push, but be understanding, be willing to listen, be willing to roleplay and dialogue if it is acceptable/enjoyable to her. Your mission is to find out what excites her!
Sometimes people stating objections is a way to get clear on things they are not certian about to get them out of the way to say "yes".
First on that list from what you said is #1. "She doesn't understand why I would want to share. She would never want to share me with other women."
This is a good opportunity to reassure her that you are not seeking to be with other women. Your desire to share her is because you are so proud of what a beautiful sexy woman she is that you want to see other men desire her as you do, and you want to see her experience the thrill and passion that comes with new lovers becasue she will share that passion with you.
#2 She may feel that she has experienced what she has wanted, but let he know that it is still ok to explore and find new things that excite her to try.
#3 Reassure her that this is about the two of you together, and you are not planning to do anything outside your marriage.
#4 Reassure her that she is desireable and there are men that would love to have a chance to be with her. You want to give her that chance to see that it is true and not just what you are saying.
Take it easy, enjoy what she will do and keep focused on her pleasure!
Frankly, sounds like you blew this. Maybe too pushy. Still I haven't heard you get into her fantasy brain...come on guy
Mandingo w/ Susan George and Ken Norton
THis wife is having her first blk man !!
View attachment Dark haired wife first timer for black 1 the best.mp4
View attachment Dark haired wife first timer for black 1 the best.mp4
newatthis17
Male
nice! she looked familiar... I really like her in straw dogs.....very sexy and sensual actress....
anthonytimmerm
Male
UPDATE
Now, an interesting thing happened. We were watching a TV show. What's it about is a few couple are separated and each stay for 2 weeks in a resort only with hot singles of the other sex to party for 2 week to test their relationship, fidilidy, trust, etc. They get imagery from whay their partner is doing in the other resort occasionally you can imagine what can happen. Obviously entertaining…
During an episode we talked about some stuff that happened on this show. Couple of guys got upset when they saw imagery of their gf flirting with other dudes on the other resort. We talked about how we would react. She said I would see footage of her strongly flirting with all of these guys… and then “but I guess you’d find that hot. In fact, you’d like to see images of me fucking with someone”… now, she said it very playfully and kinda jokingly.
I responded: “well, what I'm after is kind of different. For one: I dont’t want you to have an affair with some other guys and do it behind my back. What I meant is it something that adds to what we already have. And second, I’d like to be there to watch…”
Her response: “well, that’s not how you said it last time”. Kind of playful too. She was referring to her fucking someone without me there…
I guess a good sign… she's thinking about it.
But I just feel like there's a hurdle in there somewhere we need to address that's her "been there, done that" and "I don't want to do that kind of stuff any more, as I'm happy where I am"...
But she's kind of worried that I'm having "a very early midlife crisis" her not wanting to "experiment" might cause me to look to other to do that behind her back. If not now, than maybe in 10 years.
Now, an interesting thing happened. We were watching a TV show. What's it about is a few couple are separated and each stay for 2 weeks in a resort only with hot singles of the other sex to party for 2 week to test their relationship, fidilidy, trust, etc. They get imagery from whay their partner is doing in the other resort occasionally you can imagine what can happen. Obviously entertaining…
During an episode we talked about some stuff that happened on this show. Couple of guys got upset when they saw imagery of their gf flirting with other dudes on the other resort. We talked about how we would react. She said I would see footage of her strongly flirting with all of these guys… and then “but I guess you’d find that hot. In fact, you’d like to see images of me fucking with someone”… now, she said it very playfully and kinda jokingly.
I responded: “well, what I'm after is kind of different. For one: I dont’t want you to have an affair with some other guys and do it behind my back. What I meant is it something that adds to what we already have. And second, I’d like to be there to watch…”
Her response: “well, that’s not how you said it last time”. Kind of playful too. She was referring to her fucking someone without me there…
I guess a good sign… she's thinking about it.
But I just feel like there's a hurdle in there somewhere we need to address that's her "been there, done that" and "I don't want to do that kind of stuff any more, as I'm happy where I am"...
But she's kind of worried that I'm having "a very early midlife crisis" her not wanting to "experiment" might cause me to look to other to do that behind her back. If not now, than maybe in 10 years.
franklyn17
Male
Dam that’s hot
When she says this
She said I would see footage of her strongly flirting with all of these guys… and then “but I guess you’d find that hot. In fact, you’d like to see images of me fucking with someone”… now, she said it very playfully and kinda jokingly.
She is looking for you to confirm that you would find it hot. Then add that you would like even better to watch her fucking someone.
She said I would see footage of her strongly flirting with all of these guys… and then “but I guess you’d find that hot. In fact, you’d like to see images of me fucking with someone”… now, she said it very playfully and kinda jokingly.
She is looking for you to confirm that you would find it hot. Then add that you would like even better to watch her fucking someone.
anthonytimmerm
Male
Yes, that was my take too. I've basically answered like that. I don't want her to have an affaire and cheat. I want to watch and be there...
View attachment SS Cherry first blk man 5 the best.mp4
See if this helps ..!! We think it will lol..
See if this helps ..!! We think it will lol..
anthonytimmerm
Male
So during a Christmas party the other day, we had a conversation about this topic.
What my wife said, that I did not have a really good responese to, is that what she finds most difficult with me giving her the freedom to have sex with others, is that at some level that feels like "I don't care enought to be jalous" And then "So what do I mean to you".
Any advice? I'm not that great with ad hoc responses to these kind of things
What my wife said, that I did not have a really good responese to, is that what she finds most difficult with me giving her the freedom to have sex with others, is that at some level that feels like "I don't care enought to be jalous" And then "So what do I mean to you".
Any advice? I'm not that great with ad hoc responses to these kind of things
This could tempt anyone!!!
You must have made some kind of response. What did you say to her?So during a Christmas party the other day, we had a conversation about this topic.
What my wife said, that I did not have a really good responese to, is that what she finds most difficult with me giving her the freedom to have sex with others, is that at some level that feels like "I don't care enought to be jalous" And then "So what do I mean to you".
Any advice? I'm not that great with ad hoc responses to these kind of things
For me the response would be that of course there is jealousy, but that she is so sexy, and seeing other men attracted to and turned on by her makes you proud of her and makes her even more desirable to you. Plus you know that when women are aroused and excited they can become insatiable, and you want her to be able experience this. You want her to be able to unlock her real sexual potential because you love her.
AnjaLepota
Male
Husband here, the advice on here is terrible. I'm going to write up a guide on how to get your wife/so to do this and when not to do this. I've successfully done this with 3 women who definitely were not initially into it and I had zero issues.
If you want a bit of quick advice I think two points are critical. Firstly don't make it racial from the beginning, that's just weird for a lot of people and secondly its very important that your partner knows from the beginning that voyeurism is a turn on and work from there. Its pretty normal to be turned on by taboo themes like that and most women are receptive.
What doesn't work is just popping the question like this years into the relationship. I mean maybe you will get lucky but probably not. Also it sounds like you are a bit of a beta male, that too really doesn't work if you want a healthy relationship.
To sum up:
1.) Be an alpha male and tell your partner from the very beginning you like a related subject matter that is a bit more appealing. Be confident.
2.) Don't be overly racial about it
3.) Then you ask to spice it up a bit and so on
I mean that is the bare minimum. Like I said I could write a book on this topic and I plan to make a post here with advice.
If you want a bit of quick advice I think two points are critical. Firstly don't make it racial from the beginning, that's just weird for a lot of people and secondly its very important that your partner knows from the beginning that voyeurism is a turn on and work from there. Its pretty normal to be turned on by taboo themes like that and most women are receptive.
What doesn't work is just popping the question like this years into the relationship. I mean maybe you will get lucky but probably not. Also it sounds like you are a bit of a beta male, that too really doesn't work if you want a healthy relationship.
To sum up:
1.) Be an alpha male and tell your partner from the very beginning you like a related subject matter that is a bit more appealing. Be confident.
2.) Don't be overly racial about it
3.) Then you ask to spice it up a bit and so on
I mean that is the bare minimum. Like I said I could write a book on this topic and I plan to make a post here with advice.
Last edited:
DeeandShelly
Male
Excellent response!
anthonytimmerm
Male
I'd love to see the link when you do.
FYI; I've until now not mentioned race at all.
anthonytimmerm
Male
Similar threads
