Where to start with my wife?

[candibabe1985]

I am 31 hubby is 50. I had never been with anyone other than white boys, it was always just a non spoken or even a thought to entertain the idea of bbc from how I was raised. When I met my hubby he asked if I had a bbc I was nervous and embarrassed just of the words that came out of his mouth. Not so much fear of bbc but fear of being judged if I acted like I wanted to. (At first I really didn’t think it would turn me on. He was a porn watcher, he loved watching a white woman get pleased and fucked in places I didn’t even know existed! After watching porn for a few weeks I was secretly liking it more and more. I still didn’t tell him from fear of judgment. ( I know he is the one wanting me to) I still thought this is a test to see if I would fuck anyone but him. He then mentioned a dildo, we went that night and got around a 7 or 8 inch bbc and OMG!! It reached places I didn’t know existed! I came 8 times on that black dildo and I was hooked. I would get horny alone and go fuck my self with that dildo fantasizing it was a black cock making me a black cock whore! Long story short I started from never even entertaining the thought to wanting him to ask me if I want it. Once I got my first real bbc it was indescribable. It felt like electricity through my whole body and to me craving it and throbbing for my next bbc. My advice start off slow and introduce a little more and more and you might wake up something you don’t want too, or want start slow, and keep at it, she will come around once she sees how those other wives love it

 

[MacNfries]

To cut to the chase, I'm a safe haven for her. We have a ******* and a family and she will not want to jeopardise that.

over the years her sex drive has gone down.

I've been fantasizing about hotwifing/cuckolding for a long time now, but nobody knows this. And I'm struggling to find a way to take the first step; I'm in need of help, suggestions and advise.

There is no info in your profile page, so we are lacking for details here in order to give helpful responses. Might help if you'd take a few minutes and fill that out at some point.
Everything I'm reading in your OP is very typical "timeline" experiences, so you shouldn't feel something is "wrong" with either of you. We have to assume you are in a "happy" marriage, as cuckolding activity won't help a marriage already in distress.
So, first off, have you and your wife ever shared sexual fantasies before? If the two of you can get into a sexual fantasy sharing mood (a few drinks helps damper the defenses ), you might be able to find out what sexually turns her ON in fantasy. In the process of finding THIS out, you get to share your own fantasy of cuckolding/hotwifing as your fantasy.
If she's already been through a previous marriage, it makes sense that she'd want to avoid damaging her marriage with you, since she has a ******* to take care of ... she actually is wise to avoid jeopardizing that, as you may think this will be a turn-on for you, but once it happens, if it fails to work out exactly as you envisioned, it could negatively affect your marriage. Do these kind of things with set parameters & secret words either of you can "say" if you feel the experience affecting you negatively. If you have bad communication with each other, you need to improve that part.
Its quite normal for the frequency of sex to begin to go down after a few years ... lots of time its just that sex has gotten too predictable & routinish between the two of you, and you find it a bit boring. Its hard to get the same sexual "highs" with a spouse after years of marriage ... that's normal. This is where experimentation in various sexual activities come in and lift the excitement back up again. Sexually sharing a spouse with an outsider is rather extreme, however ... if you haven't tried other things.
You say her sex drive has gone down. This is where you should encourage her to have a physical with her doctor and explain her situation with her doctor. If her hormones & testosterone levels are down, or some other medical reason, the doctor can help. Same with the loose skin she has from previously losing weight ... she can get a "tummy tuck" that will tighten that loose skin back to baby-tight softness and she'll be excited about her own shapely body again.
These are all "starting points", but the thing is, you and she CAN revive your marital sex life again if you sincerely want to do that.

 

[SEFLblkdom]

I'm 33 years old. My wife slightly older at 38. We're together now for 8 years and we have a ******* (6).
I've been fantasizing about hotwifing/cuckolding for a long time now, but nobody knows this. And I'm struggling to find a way to take the first step; I'm in need of help, suggestions and advise.

Basically my wife, 5"4 tall, slim (size 4), blonde, C-cup, and very hot (although I'm biased), before we got a relationship was not shy of being a single woman with (several) FWB situations going on. She's into the bad-boy kind of thing and has shared that in the past with a boyfriend she has done a MFM threesome.

I'm not of the bad-boy breed. A regular guy, well educated, entrepreneur, good job, very good income and in all aspects of what I do not considered "sub" or anything of the sort, but in general by all as very "reliable, trustworthy, etc.". Now after years of fooling around with not-marriage-material-guys, she settled down with me. Our relationship is generally good and strong.

Now, over the years her sex drive has gone down. Whereas at the beginning of our relationship we knew our way around the bedroom, we now have sex on average every other week or so. Not that often. The sex is good though, but more in the "making love" category, than "pounding, hardcore porno sex"... let's say the kind of sex she used to have with all her past FWB-types.


To cut to the chase, I'm a safe haven for her. We have a ******* and a family and she will not want to jeopardise that. When referring to her past threesome, she claims not really to be into that, because "it's a lot of work" for her.

Now, I know I'm a very decent lover, but I'm not champions league. I think that for her that is absolutely fine and we have a good thing going, but given her past I think there is more beneath the surface that can come out if given the chance.

But, after the pregnancy of our ******* she gained weight and stopped finding herself attractive. Now, she's lost the extra weight (she's a size 4), but her stomach/belly is not as tight as it used to be and she's (unnecessarily) insecure about her body and still thinks she's not that good-looking when in reality she really is.
That is a blocking factor too... she will need to overcome showing her body to somebody else too.

So I see a route to market here... but have absolutely no idea how to initiate this.
How do I tell her about this?
What is a good context?
What is a good approach? For example, before taking steps to hotwifing/cuckolding, is a MFM threesome a lower threshold?

BTW: what I don't think will work, is stuff like a role-play. That's not our thing and I think it would be weirder to bring up that than the actual threesome
And going out (bar's, cafe's) is difficult with our family situation and not generally part of our lifestyle.


So, I need help, suggestions and advise on how to iniate this. Are there any guys out there that have a similar experience? How did you do that? What was the response? etc.

All your stories and help is very much welcome.

Pics???

 

[toolman2c]

wow, i bet hardly any man has seen his wife receive more cock than U have.. id say U or ur wife never got bored. it seams both u2 found ur place n life, thats hot, congrats.

I have been fat and have had a tiny dick my whole life; it was only natural that I became a sissy queer. My wife was already fucking black men 4 years before we met. We met through a stud who was fucking both of us at the time. We believed that we had found our soul mate; got married and adopted a hot wife/sissy cuckold lifestyle. We will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary next year. What worked for us may not work for other couples

 

[wannabeprivate]

Started with pictures he would take and share on sites to boost my confidence. Then I began to see the responses and my shyness turned to intrigue. I was fascinated with the contrast of black skin on white skin. I began to choose interracial porn and hubby picked up on it. He's of average size and after much thought, finally asked if I'd like to try a larger dick? So we bought toys just to see if it was something I could handle. Boy did I ever. Then it was just a matter of time before we found our first BBC. Then the second, and looking forward to the third. Or a gangbang

Started with pictures he would take and share on sites to boost my confidence. Then I began to see the responses and my shyness turned to intrigue. I was fascinated with the contrast of black skin on white skin. I began to choose interracial porn and hubby picked up on it. He's of average size and after much thought, finally asked if I'd like to try a larger dick? So we bought toys just to see if it was something I could handle. Boy did I ever. Then it was just a matter of time before we found our first BBC. Then the second, and looking forward to the third. Or a gangbang

That’s what I said to my wife in a hotel recently, I had her nude in front of the window and I told her if I put her pics online how many likes would she get and she said umm I guess I’d get a few lol then I told her I wanted to share her and cam with her to start and that other men seeing her turned me on lol she was quite but I gave her a great orgasm rite after that ….

 

[europa9922]

well you could show her this..
View attachment Wive first blk man ir miss sounds 188 great.mp4

 

[newatthis17]

this clip should help
View attachment 4199558

is this from a mainstream movie? could you tell us which one?

i would like to start watching this type of movie with wife...give opportunity to discuss it and her doing it...so if anyone knows other movies, not porn...mainstream although the hotter the better....

 

[anthonytimmerm]

UPDATE

So Thursday night we were out, just the two of us, having a nice dinner and staying at a hotel. Had a great time, couple of glasses of wine.

Some small background. My wife doesn't like porn and doesn't appreciate me watching it. She said so eary on in our relationship.

Now, we get back to our hotel room and start the fun. We're full into foreplay, almost fully naked, when she - out of nowhere - surprises me with a question if I ever watch porn. I was kind of stumbled, so she knew I'd be lying if I'd say now... She starts asking all kinds of quesitons about how often, what kind of porn, etc. Not in a bad way, still in a teasing sexy way - we're continuing foreplay.

I'm kind of surprised by all of this and don't really know what to do. I tell her I image it's her in the porn.
-But she still continues to ask what kind of porn.
-Lame as me says: you know, a girl getting fucked good.
-She starts asking so, one guys, two guys, three guys...
-Me: yes
-She: 3 guys?
-Me: Yes
-She: would you want me to fuck three guys?
-Me: Yes
-She: and you would be okey with that?
-Me: Yes
-She: Well that's not going to happen? I just want want cock and that's yours

This then kind of spiralled into us having very good, steaming sex...
Afterwards there was only some comment that she did not understand why I needed to watch porn. She doesn't and doesn't masturbate... but nothing further.

So, I guess some progress here... at least a first step taken.

My question: what do I do next? Just wait it out until she brings it up again and has follow up questions?
Any advice?

 

[anthonytimmerm]

UPDATE

So another update.
2 days ago, we had a hot session. I gave her a massage, which ended in me fucking her with a good dildo, while she sucked me off... We've never done this and this was our first 'split-roast' kind of thing.

Yesterday, after a couple of drinks, she comes back to the porn thing and she asked me if I really wanted that. Her with other guys. I told her yes and we had a good conversation about what exactly my fantasy was, and why.
x
She didn't get upset and the conversation was good. I told her and now she knows. She doesn't understand though, as she says that she cannot imagine me fucking other women and her watching... I told her that's not what my fantasy was. It's about seeing her.

We had a fantastic fuck.

Afterwards she says that she will need some time to digest and process this. This is my fantasy, not hers and she would is not - yet - willing to go down this path... She had some concerns about me pursuing this fantasy outside our relationship. I told her I was not interested in that, because I want to see her, not somebody else; that's the whole point.

There are some openings ("if we were ever to do this, I'd be doing it for you, not me"). But also some hesitations ("what if I don't want this and you do, then what?")

I guess it needs some time, but would like to know if any couple or hotwifes have any experiences to share that recognize this situation?

 

[anthonytimmerm]

No real update... she's not broached the topic yet.
Any advice?

 

[whitepvnda]

I'm 33 years old. My wife slightly older at 38. We're together now for 8 years and we have a ******* (6).
I've been fantasizing about hotwifing/cuckolding for a long time now, but nobody knows this. And I'm struggling to find a way to take the first step; I'm in need of help, suggestions and advise.

Basically my wife, 5"4 tall, slim (size 4), blonde, C-cup, and very hot (although I'm biased), before we got a relationship was not shy of being a single woman with (several) FWB situations going on. She's into the bad-boy kind of thing and has shared that in the past with a boyfriend she has done a MFM threesome.

I'm not of the bad-boy breed. A regular guy, well educated, entrepreneur, good job, very good income and in all aspects of what I do not considered "sub" or anything of the sort, but in general by all as very "reliable, trustworthy, etc.". Now after years of fooling around with not-marriage-material-guys, she settled down with me. Our relationship is generally good and strong.

Now, over the years her sex drive has gone down. Whereas at the beginning of our relationship we knew our way around the bedroom, we now have sex on average every other week or so. Not that often. The sex is good though, but more in the "making love" category, than "pounding, hardcore porno sex"... let's say the kind of sex she used to have with all her past FWB-types.


To cut to the chase, I'm a safe haven for her. We have a ******* and a family and she will not want to jeopardise that. When referring to her past threesome, she claims not really to be into that, because "it's a lot of work" for her.

Now, I know I'm a very decent lover, but I'm not champions league. I think that for her that is absolutely fine and we have a good thing going, but given her past I think there is more beneath the surface that can come out if given the chance.

But, after the pregnancy of our ******* she gained weight and stopped finding herself attractive. Now, she's lost the extra weight (she's a size 4), but her stomach/belly is not as tight as it used to be and she's (unnecessarily) insecure about her body and still thinks she's not that good-looking when in reality she really is.
That is a blocking factor too... she will need to overcome showing her body to somebody else too.

So I see a route to market here... but have absolutely no idea how to initiate this.
How do I tell her about this?
What is a good context?
What is a good approach? For example, before taking steps to hotwifing/cuckolding, is a MFM threesome a lower threshold?

BTW: what I don't think will work, is stuff like a role-play. That's not our thing and I think it would be weirder to bring up that than the actual threesome
And going out (bar's, cafe's) is difficult with our family situation and not generally part of our lifestyle.


So, I need help, suggestions and advise on how to iniate this. Are there any guys out there that have a similar experience? How did you do that? What was the response? etc.

All your stories and help is very much welcome.

Inbox me il tell you my story

 

[whitepvnda]

I am 31 hubby is 50. I had never been with anyone other than white boys, it was always just a non spoken or even a thought to entertain the idea of bbc from how I was raised. When I met my hubby he asked if I had a bbc I was nervous and embarrassed just of the words that came out of his mouth. Not so much fear of bbc but fear of being judged if I acted like I wanted to. (At first I really didn’t think it would turn me on. He was a porn watcher, he loved watching a white woman get pleased and fucked in places I didn’t even know existed! After watching porn for a few weeks I was secretly liking it more and more. I still didn’t tell him from fear of judgment. ( I know he is the one wanting me to) I still thought this is a test to see if I would fuck anyone but him. He then mentioned a dildo, we went that night and got around a 7 or 8 inch bbc and OMG!! It reached places I didn’t know existed! I came 8 times on that black dildo and I was hooked. I would get horny alone and go fuck my self with that dildo fantasizing it was a black cock making me a black cock whore! Long story short I started from never even entertaining the thought to wanting him to ask me if I want it. Once I got my first real bbc it was indescribable. It felt like electricity through my whole body and to me craving it and throbbing for my next bbc. My advice start off slow and introduce a little more and more and you might wake up something you don’t want too, or want start slow, and keep at it, she will come around once she sees how those other wives love it

You sound like my wife her story is exactly the same apart from me haven't actually yet gone the whole way and stil role play part. She seems to talk naughtier everytime we do it and it turns her on like nothing else

 

[anthonytimmerm]

I am 31 hubby is 50. I had never been with anyone other than white boys, it was always just a non spoken or even a thought to entertain the idea of bbc from how I was raised. When I met my hubby he asked if I had a bbc I was nervous and embarrassed just of the words that came out of his mouth. Not so much fear of bbc but fear of being judged if I acted like I wanted to. (At first I really didn’t think it would turn me on. He was a porn watcher, he loved watching a white woman get pleased and fucked in places I didn’t even know existed! After watching porn for a few weeks I was secretly liking it more and more. I still didn’t tell him from fear of judgment. ( I know he is the one wanting me to) I still thought this is a test to see if I would fuck anyone but him. He then mentioned a dildo, we went that night and got around a 7 or 8 inch bbc and OMG!! It reached places I didn’t know existed! I came 8 times on that black dildo and I was hooked. I would get horny alone and go fuck my self with that dildo fantasizing it was a black cock making me a black cock whore! Long story short I started from never even entertaining the thought to wanting him to ask me if I want it. Once I got my first real bbc it was indescribable. It felt like electricity through my whole body and to me craving it and throbbing for my next bbc. My advice start off slow and introduce a little more and more and you might wake up something you don’t want too, or want start slow, and keep at it, she will come around once she sees how those other wives love it

Thank you so much for your story!

 

[goodwife51]

I'm 33 years old. My wife slightly older at 38. We're together now for 8 years and we have a ******* (6).
I've been fantasizing about hotwifing/cuckolding for a long time now, but nobody knows this. And I'm struggling to find a way to take the first step; I'm in need of help, suggestions and advise.

Basically my wife, 5"4 tall, slim (size 4), blonde, C-cup, and very hot (although I'm biased), before we got a relationship was not shy of being a single woman with (several) FWB situations going on. She's into the bad-boy kind of thing and has shared that in the past with a boyfriend she has done a MFM threesome.

I'm not of the bad-boy breed. A regular guy, well educated, entrepreneur, good job, very good income and in all aspects of what I do not considered "sub" or anything of the sort, but in general by all as very "reliable, trustworthy, etc.". Now after years of fooling around with not-marriage-material-guys, she settled down with me. Our relationship is generally good and strong.

Now, over the years her sex drive has gone down. Whereas at the beginning of our relationship we knew our way around the bedroom, we now have sex on average every other week or so. Not that often. The sex is good though, but more in the "making love" category, than "pounding, hardcore porno sex"... let's say the kind of sex she used to have with all her past FWB-types.


To cut to the chase, I'm a safe haven for her. We have a ******* and a family and she will not want to jeopardise that. When referring to her past threesome, she claims not really to be into that, because "it's a lot of work" for her.

Now, I know I'm a very decent lover, but I'm not champions league. I think that for her that is absolutely fine and we have a good thing going, but given her past I think there is more beneath the surface that can come out if given the chance.

But, after the pregnancy of our ******* she gained weight and stopped finding herself attractive. Now, she's lost the extra weight (she's a size 4), but her stomach/belly is not as tight as it used to be and she's (unnecessarily) insecure about her body and still thinks she's not that good-looking when in reality she really is.
That is a blocking factor too... she will need to overcome showing her body to somebody else too.

So I see a route to market here... but have absolutely no idea how to initiate this.
How do I tell her about this?
What is a good context?
What is a good approach? For example, before taking steps to hotwifing/cuckolding, is a MFM threesome a lower threshold?

BTW: what I don't think will work, is stuff like a role-play. That's not our thing and I think it would be weirder to bring up that than the actual threesome
And going out (bar's, cafe's) is difficult with our family situation and not generally part of our lifestyle.


So, I need help, suggestions and advise on how to iniate this. Are there any guys out there that have a similar experience? How did you do that? What was the response? etc.

All your stories and help is very much welcome.

Does she know what you want..... have you asked her does she want to

 

[anthonytimmerm]

Does she know what you want..... have you asked her does she want to

I've just come out to her a short while ago. Since then, we've not really touched upon the subject, as there was not really a good moment since. Hopefully on a date night pretty soon, there's a good opportunity to bring it up again and talk further about it.

During the last conversation, she said she needed to "digest" is. She also said that the threesome she had in the past was the result of some drinks and for fun, as it was not "marriage material".
When it comes to her response further, she has said things like "if we were ever to do this, it would be for you". But, this was literally just after I told her.

To me, I was pleased with her response. Eventhough she said she did not understand why I would want this (as she would not want me to fuck anybody else), she was surprisingly open and mellow on this. I think also slighly turned on, as we had really hot sex afterwards.

So I'm not yet sure how she really feels, but I sense she is somewhat open to it, but there are blockages.
For example, just the other day we were planning a vacation to rent a house + pool somewhere nice and she commented with a wink that she wanted a nice muscular poolboy to go along with it.

What would you as a woman make of this?

 

[toolman2c]

Does she know what you want..... have you asked her does she want to

i agree with goodwife51, its not fair to ur sweet wife to not tell her all about ur feelings, even ones ur scared to tell, u may find ur has long time curious and would love to explore and learn all the different thrills of a new cock up inside her married treasure. become a open book and U find pleasure u didnt know posible, and also learn quite well U cant unfuck her used pussy, or erase her memory of what may b life changing for her

 

[Khrises4u]

I've just come out to her a short while ago. Since then, we've not really touched upon the subject, as there was not really a good moment since. Hopefully on a date night pretty soon, there's a good opportunity to bring it up again and talk further about it.

During the last conversation, she said she needed to "digest" is. She also said that the threesome she had in the past was the result of some drinks and for fun, as it was not "marriage material".
When it comes to her response further, she has said things like "if we were ever to do this, it would be for you". But, this was literally just after I told her.

To me, I was pleased with her response. Eventhough she said she did not understand why I would want this (as she would not want me to fuck anybody else), she was surprisingly open and mellow on this. I think also slighly turned on, as we had really hot sex afterwards.

So I'm not yet sure how she really feels, but I sense she is somewhat open to it, but there are blockages.
For example, just the other day we were planning a vacation to rent a house + pool somewhere nice and she commented with a wink that she wanted a nice muscular poolboy to go along with it.

What would you as a woman make of this?

The best way to go is to continue to be patient and open with her. Tell her what turns you on, tell her and make sure she understand how much you love her and are committed to her, but most of all....don't be pushy and be super patient. If you get obsessive about it, it will push her away.

More fantasy play is highly recommended. Seems like times when my wife and I have stepped back from the lifestyle for a period, her libido may be low, she might have poor self esteem for a period, and we have to revisit lots of the things that underpinned the fun we have had in the past, as for her its a square peg / round hole because it's not something she regularly thinks about but enjoys amd has fun doing it when we do.....so we ebb and flow, and I just remain patient.

There's nothing worse than forsing the issue and turning her off.

The more orgasms she has where she is getting spit roasted or thinking/fantasizing about naughty scenarios probably the better.....

 

[anthonytimmerm]

The best way to go is to continue to be patient and open with her. Tell her what turns you on, tell her and make sure she understand how much you love her and are committed to her, but most of all....don't be pushy and be super patient. If you get obsessive about it, it will push her away.

More fantasy play is highly recommended. Seems like times when my wife and I have stepped back from the lifestyle for a period, her libido may be low, she might have poor self esteem for a period, and we have to revisit lots of the things that underpinned the fun we have had in the past, as for her its a square peg / round hole because it's not something she regularly thinks about but enjoys amd has fun doing it when we do.....so we ebb and flow, and I just remain patient.

There's nothing worse than forsing the issue and turning her off.

The more orgasms she has where she is getting spit roasted or thinking/fantasizing about naughty scenarios probably the better.....

Thanks so much for your response. Really helpful.
I'll go slow. I'm not obsessive about it... have waited years to tell her, and we have time I'm just glad I've broken that ice and am just trying to take the right steps to provide comfort and love on this journey and try to avoid the pitfalls (like being pushy)... so your advice and experience is much appreciated.

 

[Khrises4u]

Thanks so much for your response. Really helpful.
I'll go slow. I'm not obsessive about it... have waited years to tell her, and we have time I'm just glad I've broken that ice and am just trying to take the right steps to provide comfort and love on this journey and try to avoid the pitfalls (like being pushy)... so your advice and experience is much appreciated.

Awesome. Breaking the ice is a huge part of it. Finding the nexus of what really gets her going with what gets you going is a huge light switch. I used to be more domineering in our engagements, and she felt more like a performer, and less like she cpuld enjoy herself, so we shifted to her being more dominant, and me playing a backseat (it's hard tbh) and she really clicked it up a few years ago, and we had a ton of fun with it.

 

[anthonytimmerm]

Awesome. Breaking the ice is a huge part of it. Finding the nexus of what really gets her going with what gets you going is a huge light switch. I used to be more domineering in our engagements, and she felt more like a performer, and less like she cpuld enjoy herself, so we shifted to her being more dominant, and me playing a backseat (it's hard tbh) and she really clicked it up a few years ago, and we had a ton of fun with it.

So how did you guys get started? Did you initiate? How did she respond and what triggered her?