Wife Wants Temporary Exclusivity With BF

[Brian1965]

My (56M) wife (33F) "Gina" and I, married 11 years, just recently opened up our marriage at Gina's request so she could pursue a relationship with a man ("Bill") she developed a crush on. He’s a very handsome and virile black man. I am mono, so we decided this would be one-sided poly for Gina only, though this will make me a cuckold by default. I was hesitant at first, but decided that this may be good for our marriage since, though our sex if great, Gina's desired frequency for sex is much greater than mine.

After Gina's relationship with Bill turned sexual, about a month ago, she's been head-over-heels for him, classic NRE from what I've read here. Their relationship isn't just sexual, she loves doing other things with him, like dancing, and has expressed that she is feeling a deep emotional bond with him.

I recently noticed that when we make love, Gina seems a bit distant, At first she denied this, and expressed her unchanging love for me. However, last night Gina admitted that she is so infatuated with Bill, she's finding it difficult to feel as passionate with me, for the time being. She then hit me with a shocker: Gina asked me if it would be okay if she remains sexually exclusive to Bill for a short period (she suggested 2 months) to allow her to "bond" with Bill and let the NRE pass.

I have no doubts about Gina's sincerity when she says she loves me and wants me always to be her life partner. And, for me, stepping aside sexually for 2 months wouldn't be an extreme hardship per se, since I am happy with sex maybe once every week or two anyway (as opposed to Gina, who likes it almost daily, if possible). My only fear is that by putting our sexual relationship on hold, Gina may "bond" with Bill more than even she intends, and I might be pushed away indefinitely.

Has anyone had a similar situation as this? If so, how did things work out?

 

[Act1964]

Black Bull's have away with wives to where husbands are denied access to their wives bodies.

 

[luvwife-w-bbc]

Wow, so many labels.

 

[Brian1965]

Black Bull's have away with wives to where husbands are denied access to their wives bodies.

Neither Gina nor I like the term “bull.” Bill is very much her boyfriend.

 

[paolacpl]

My (56M) wife (33F) "Gina" and I, married 11 years, just recently opened up our marriage at Gina's request so she could pursue a relationship with a man ("Bill") she developed a crush on. He’s a very handsome and virile black man. I am mono, so we decided this would be one-sided poly for Gina only, though this will make me a cuckold by default. I was hesitant at first, but decided that this may be good for our marriage since, though our sex if great, Gina's desired frequency for sex is much greater than mine.

After Gina's relationship with Bill turned sexual, about a month ago, she's been head-over-heels for him, classic NRE from what I've read here. Their relationship isn't just sexual, she loves doing other things with him, like dancing, and has expressed that she is feeling a deep emotional bond with him.

I recently noticed that when we make love, Gina seems a bit distant, At first she denied this, and expressed her unchanging love for me. However, last night Gina admitted that she is so infatuated with Bill, she's finding it difficult to feel as passionate with me, for the time being. She then hit me with a shocker: Gina asked me if it would be okay if she remains sexually exclusive to Bill for a short period (she suggested 2 months) to allow her to "bond" with Bill and let the NRE pass.

I have no doubts about Gina's sincerity when she says she loves me and wants me always to be her life partner. And, for me, stepping aside sexually for 2 months wouldn't be an extreme hardship per se, since I am happy with sex maybe once every week or two anyway (as opposed to Gina, who likes it almost daily, if possible). My only fear is that by putting our sexual relationship on hold, Gina may "bond" with Bill more than even she intends, and I might be pushed away indefinitely.

Has anyone had a similar situation as this? If so, how did things work out?

I never been in your situation. She is very young compared to you. How old is Bill? I think you risk to loose her but in your place I would let things go as nature wants. I would try to not ask anything to her but to be very present when and if she needs you.
Let us know how things evolve

 

[Darkjumper]

My (56M) wife (33F) "Gina" and I, married 11 years, just recently opened up our marriage at Gina's request so she could pursue a relationship with a man ("Bill") she developed a crush on. He’s a very handsome and virile black man. I am mono, so we decided this would be one-sided poly for Gina only, though this will make me a cuckold by default. I was hesitant at first, but decided that this may be good for our marriage since, though our sex if great, Gina's desired frequency for sex is much greater than mine.

After Gina's relationship with Bill turned sexual, about a month ago, she's been head-over-heels for him, classic NRE from what I've read here. Their relationship isn't just sexual, she loves doing other things with him, like dancing, and has expressed that she is feeling a deep emotional bond with him.

I recently noticed that when we make love, Gina seems a bit distant, At first she denied this, and expressed her unchanging love for me. However, last night Gina admitted that she is so infatuated with Bill, she's finding it difficult to feel as passionate with me, for the time being. She then hit me with a shocker: Gina asked me if it would be okay if she remains sexually exclusive to Bill for a short period (she suggested 2 months) to allow her to "bond" with Bill and let the NRE pass.

I have no doubts about Gina's sincerity when she says she loves me and wants me always to be her life partner. And, for me, stepping aside sexually for 2 months wouldn't be an extreme hardship per se, since I am happy with sex maybe once every week or two anyway (as opposed to Gina, who likes it almost daily, if possible). My only fear is that by putting our sexual relationship on hold, Gina may "bond" with Bill more than even she intends, and I might be pushed away indefinitely.

Has anyone had a similar situation as this? If so, how did things work out?

I can't really say I know how you feel, but I can tell you this, not saying it will definitely happen, but I think you have emotionally and surely sexually lost your wife. It maybe a hard reality to come to terms with, and again not saying it is definitely the case, but you should prepare for the worse. The worse being that if you agree to this 2 month so called time to get over period, that could turn into much longer or never ends. You need to ask her to be totally honest of her views of you now that you have become a cuckold. It's one thing to seek another just for sexual gratification, but she seems already emotionally detached which you already observed. I feel bad for you, but like I said, prepare for the worse....well it may not be that per se, but you know what I mean. I truly hope it works as you want or wish it to. Ask yourself this, should it turn into where you are totally cut off, can you handle it? I assume when she said be exclusive with him, that meant no sex between you two at all?

 

[Nitroman]

I don't think this is the way it's supposed to be. Bill should at least be respectful enough not to agree with it. And he's capable of bringing her to reason if he wishes to.

Not saying she's incapable of even suggesting it herself.

The only exclusivity I've heard of is a woman requesting that the lover be exclusive to her, from other women

...not her being exclusive to her lover, from her own husband who was trusting enough to open his relationship.

I don't know if I would speak to Bill, but it would definitely come onto my mind.

Hope you find a resolution and if you go through with it, it be some "temporary" phase she's going through.

What's NRE?

 

[dickhurtz472]

New Relationship Energy/Excitement!!

 

[BiSubCuck]

How is your relationship with Bill??? I have a feeling that you need to find a beneficial way yo agree to her demands. Not just become obsolete and allow their love to blossom further.
Why not suggest you all live together? And have you been involved in their sexual activity? If so, then insist that if he is the sole cock provider that you must always clean her and sleep with her or them afterwards.
This could push you sexually in a direction you had not considered but I think that is far better than losing her completely.
I would love to chat with you on all this so if you feel the need, drop me a message any time. Best of luck and tread carefully.

 

[DeniedCuck-UK]

Yes I’ve been in that situation, 3 months in with wife and her bf we had “the talk” she said he wanted us to stop sleeping together for a while, she said she didn’t know how long things would last with him but she didn’t want to mess it up, I could tell she had already made up her mind so I agreed, 8 years now and I’m still pussy free.
It’s not easy at first but you need to look at it this way, stop being selfish, this is about her and her needs.

 

[alex7419]

Yes I’ve been in that situation, 3 months in with wife and her bf we had “the talk” she said he wanted us to stop sleeping together for a while, she said she didn’t know how long things would last with him but she didn’t want to mess it up, I could tell she had already made up her mind so I agreed, 8 years now and I’m still pussy free.
It’s not easy at first but you need to look at it this way, stop being selfish, this is about her and her needs.

and your needs? if we put it this way, the selfish person is your wife.

 

[DeniedCuck-UK]

and your needs? if we put it this way, the selfish person is your wife.

When it comes to sex, her needs are more important.

 

[Cpl4funinfl]

When it comes to sex, her needs are more important.

Hmm sexist much lol

 

[manxtasy]

My (56M) wife (33F) "Gina" and I, married 11 years, just recently opened up our marriage at Gina's request so she could pursue a relationship with a man ("Bill") she developed a crush on. He’s a very handsome and virile black man. I am mono, so we decided this would be one-sided poly for Gina only, though this will make me a cuckold by default. I was hesitant at first, but decided that this may be good for our marriage since, though our sex if great, Gina's desired frequency for sex is much greater than mine.

After Gina's relationship with Bill turned sexual, about a month ago, she's been head-over-heels for him, classic NRE from what I've read here. Their relationship isn't just sexual, she loves doing other things with him, like dancing, and has expressed that she is feeling a deep emotional bond with him.

I recently noticed that when we make love, Gina seems a bit distant, At first she denied this, and expressed her unchanging love for me. However, last night Gina admitted that she is so infatuated with Bill, she's finding it difficult to feel as passionate with me, for the time being. She then hit me with a shocker: Gina asked me if it would be okay if she remains sexually exclusive to Bill for a short period (she suggested 2 months) to allow her to "bond" with Bill and let the NRE pass.

I have no doubts about Gina's sincerity when she says she loves me and wants me always to be her life partner. And, for me, stepping aside sexually for 2 months wouldn't be an extreme hardship per se, since I am happy with sex maybe once every week or two anyway (as opposed to Gina, who likes it almost daily, if possible). My only fear is that by putting our sexual relationship on hold, Gina may "bond" with Bill more than even she intends, and I might be pushed away indefinitely.

Has anyone had a similar situation as this? If so, how did things work out?

B,

At this point I don't think you have too much of a choice. Good thing is she said "infatuated" with the man. There are three possibilities , one that she will loose the intensity of having sex with this man and back off, two she will fall for him deeper and three he will move on (the best). I would find out his intentions. Many women have been left by thier man for a new woman. Hope it works out.

 

[ready to share]

When a 45 year old guy decided to marry a 22 year old, "for better or worse" became your life's creedo.

 

[JemmaNye&Herbi]

My wife has a boyfriend. We never saw ourselves going the poly route, but what they have is much more enjoyable than what she has with casual fuck buddies, and our own relationship is definitely enhanced by her added happiness. The thing that's easy to overlook if you're not in the situation is that love isn't a thing people have a set, finite amount of. Developing feelings for someone new doesn't have to mean you suddenly have less love for your partner. You can love different things about two different people, and be grateful to your primary partner for giving you the freedom to explore happiness in many new facets with others. In our case, if anything, it's made my wife value our relationship and our dynamic even more. So when the OP says:

I have no doubts about Gina's sincerity when she says she loves me and wants me always to be her life partner.

I am inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. For sure, he knows Gina better than the rest of us do, and I don't think it's anyone's place to say, "that's not how it's supposed to work." I can tell you, MANY people would argue that what my wife and I do is not how a marriage is supposed to work, but I'll put the strength of our bond and commitment to each other up against any relationship out there. We've withstood everything life has thrown at us for more than 20 years, and we're stronger than ever.

My wife hasn't tried to cut me off from sex completely, but then again, I can't say this:

And, for me, stepping aside sexually for 2 months wouldn't be an extreme hardship per se, since I am happy with sex maybe once every week or two anyway (as opposed to Gina, who likes it almost daily, if possible).

I've always had a higher libido than my wife. Keeping me in chastity has been a great way for her to take an active role in channeling my overactive sex drive, even when she has hit patches where life takes a toll on her libido. And since she began cuckolding me, her libido is through the roof. We've been careful and closely monitored each other's well-being every step of the way, but we have found this arrangement we're in currently because it's what has worked for us. I have less "traditional" sex than I used to, but we have a lot of making out, tease and denial, me giving her oral or intimate massage or body worship, cleaning her up or watching videos of her sexual escapades together, occasional pegging, bondage, spanking, etc. So overall, my sexual activity has increased. If you're in a spot where you don't need much in the way of sex or physical affection, and she needs a lot of it, I could see something like what you're describing being a good solution. You'll have to be very honest with yourself and your partner about your needs and your emotional state. If she's committed to your relationship as you say you trust her to be, she'll want to know that you're alright, and will most likely work with you to create conditions that will ensure that's the case.

At this point I don't think you have too much of a choice.

I disagree with this as well. I believe strong communication and commitment are vital in any relationship, and it's never too late to start a dialog about the way you're feeling.

Maybe it's difficult for her to try to be intimate with you, when she is distracted by thoughts of sex with him. It's natural that she would be, if she loves sex as much as you describe. And maybe she recognizes it's neither fun nor fair to make your intimate time with her a ******, tedious pity fuck, instead of something deeper that helps you both enjoy and appreciate your connection.

It sounds like you're open to giving her the space to try her idea, and let her work through some of the intensity of her new, steamy infatuation. If that's the case, and you feel secure about her commitment to you, I don't think things are necessarily as bad as some people here are suggesting. If you can do it and be happy, I say go for it. Just make sure you're taking careful stock of how well you're doing at any time, and offering ideas for ways you can give her what she wants while still taking care of yourself and the relationship. Like, if she's only fucking him, maybe that's fine, but maybe the two of you commit to making time for other ways to maintain and nurture your own relationship. Like, might she consider cuddling once a week in front of a movie with you? Or having date night to go out and try a new restaurant? Do the two of you like going to shows or concerts? If regular sex is off the table, can you still kiss? What about oral or manual stimulation? Or would you be satisfied by hearing her first hand accounts of their sex, and why it's what she wants? Maybe she'd be willing to describe it to you in detail while you masturbate once a week or so?

I don't know what either of you are into. These are just some ideas. My point is that not everyone needs the exact same thing out of a relationship. It'll be up to you and Gina to arrive at a healthy, ethical and sustainable way to do this, if it's the route you decide to take. If it makes you both happy, don't listen to people who try to tell you it's some irreversible mistake or that your relationship is doomed. Only you and your wife can say what's best for you.

 

[Darkjumper]

Good luck.

 

[RealLifeFLR]

My (56M) wife (33F) "Gina" and I, married 11 years, just recently opened up our marriage at Gina's request so she could pursue a relationship with a man ("Bill") she developed a crush on. He’s a very handsome and virile black man. I am mono, so we decided this would be one-sided poly for Gina only, though this will make me a cuckold by default. I was hesitant at first, but decided that this may be good for our marriage since, though our sex if great, Gina's desired frequency for sex is much greater than mine.

After Gina's relationship with Bill turned sexual, about a month ago, she's been head-over-heels for him, classic NRE from what I've read here. Their relationship isn't just sexual, she loves doing other things with him, like dancing, and has expressed that she is feeling a deep emotional bond with him.

I recently noticed that when we make love, Gina seems a bit distant, At first she denied this, and expressed her unchanging love for me. However, last night Gina admitted that she is so infatuated with Bill, she's finding it difficult to feel as passionate with me, for the time being. She then hit me with a shocker: Gina asked me if it would be okay if she remains sexually exclusive to Bill for a short period (she suggested 2 months) to allow her to "bond" with Bill and let the NRE pass.

I have no doubts about Gina's sincerity when she says she loves me and wants me always to be her life partner. And, for me, stepping aside sexually for 2 months wouldn't be an extreme hardship per se, since I am happy with sex maybe once every week or two anyway (as opposed to Gina, who likes it almost daily, if possible). My only fear is that by putting our sexual relationship on hold, Gina may "bond" with Bill more than even she intends, and I might be pushed away indefinitely.

Has anyone had a similar situation as this? If so, how did things work out?

Trust your wife.
She knows what's best for her...and you know that's best for you.

 

[KBOZ69]

My (56M) wife (33F) "Gina" and I, married 11 years, just recently opened up our marriage at Gina's request so she could pursue a relationship with a man ("Bill") she developed a crush on. He’s a very handsome and virile black man. I am mono, so we decided this would be one-sided poly for Gina only, though this will make me a cuckold by default. I was hesitant at first, but decided that this may be good for our marriage since, though our sex if great, Gina's desired frequency for sex is much greater than mine.

After Gina's relationship with Bill turned sexual, about a month ago, she's been head-over-heels for him, classic NRE from what I've read here. Their relationship isn't just sexual, she loves doing other things with him, like dancing, and has expressed that she is feeling a deep emotional bond with him.

I recently noticed that when we make love, Gina seems a bit distant, At first she denied this, and expressed her unchanging love for me. However, last night Gina admitted that she is so infatuated with Bill, she's finding it difficult to feel as passionate with me, for the time being. She then hit me with a shocker: Gina asked me if it would be okay if she remains sexually exclusive to Bill for a short period (she suggested 2 months) to allow her to "bond" with Bill and let the NRE pass.

I have no doubts about Gina's sincerity when she says she loves me and wants me always to be her life partner. And, for me, stepping aside sexually for 2 months wouldn't be an extreme hardship per se, since I am happy with sex maybe once every week or two anyway (as opposed to Gina, who likes it almost daily, if possible). My only fear is that by putting our sexual relationship on hold, Gina may "bond" with Bill more than even she intends, and I might be pushed away indefinitely.

Has anyone had a similar situation as this? If so, how did things work out?

 

[KBOZ69]

My (56M) wife (33F) "Gina" and I, married 11 years, just recently opened up our marriage at Gina's request so she could pursue a relationship with a man ("Bill") she developed a crush on. He’s a very handsome and virile black man. I am mono, so we decided this would be one-sided poly for Gina only, though this will make me a cuckold by default. I was hesitant at first, but decided that this may be good for our marriage since, though our sex if great, Gina's desired frequency for sex is much greater than mine.

After Gina's relationship with Bill turned sexual, about a month ago, she's been head-over-heels for him, classic NRE from what I've read here. Their relationship isn't just sexual, she loves doing other things with him, like dancing, and has expressed that she is feeling a deep emotional bond with him.

I recently noticed that when we make love, Gina seems a bit distant, At first she denied this, and expressed her unchanging love for me. However, last night Gina admitted that she is so infatuated with Bill, she's finding it difficult to feel as passionate with me, for the time being. She then hit me with a shocker: Gina asked me if it would be okay if she remains sexually exclusive to Bill for a short period (she suggested 2 months) to allow her to "bond" with Bill and let the NRE pass.

I have no doubts about Gina's sincerity when she says she loves me and wants me always to be her life partner. And, for me, stepping aside sexually for 2 months wouldn't be an extreme hardship per se, since I am happy with sex maybe once every week or two anyway (as opposed to Gina, who likes it almost daily, if possible). My only fear is that by putting our sexual relationship on hold, Gina may "bond" with Bill more than even she intends, and I might be pushed away indefinitely.

Has anyone had a similar situation as this? If so, how did things work out?

My wife has had one ,almost, boyfriend in the 3 yrswe have been in the swinging/ cuck lifestyle . She was never happier and seamlessly flipped between her two lives and relationships . While never calling him her boyfriend ,they went out together, stayed over ,went on weekends away together and when she was with him they were as a couple with no restraints. They held hands ,kissed in public , had intimate dinners and lots of sex . There was no problems with her being in 2 intimate relationships and if it had lasted I'm convinced she would have definitely referred to him as her boyfriend and more than likely said she loved him ,as she almost did on more than one occasion .
I too was never happier as we were closer than ever and having more sex than ever at this time . My greatest feeling was one of happiness for her/ them and I was as upset as her when it ended