It
is complicated. Millions of men have millions of reasons, or combinations of reasons. I can speak for myself with the caveat that I don't necessarily know all my own reasons
I am very much beta, with a small dick that can give pleasure but I pretty much automatically feel inferior when a bigger dick is shown, I refer to this as being lower on the pecker order. And, well, let's face it, black men on average tend to have the larger dicks don't they? As men, they tend to project their sense of confidence more strongly. I get the feeling they rule the roost.
My gig is to feel like a "nothing" with no say after limits are set, to serve and if I am lucky, be used. Black men come across as generally having the mindset, ability, and physical gifts to do this well. I used to hang at the local adult theater and serviced many men. It took a while before I was blacked but once I was I became popular with the black men who came in. I sucked black cock hundreds of times and was fucked a couple, and was disappointed only by the edgers that took an all afternoon blow job before leaving to unload in someone else. BUT I eventually realized I was just being greedy, they desired their cock in my mouth and throat, not to cum in me.. So, cocksucker mission accomplished one way or another.
I struggle with the concern am I fetishizing people here - I also have thoughts that some sort of reparations are in order and since our society seems paralyzed politically, serving and sharing sexually is something individuals can do.
Finally, even before the pandemic I was not out in public much, play parties (leaning hetero-normative for males to start) were a pain to go to, and had become endless discussions around consent and consent violations (all well and good but once it's said it's said, and the latter is often 99% speculation and ultimately, gossip). Then our adult theater closed and meeting like-minded men became even more difficult.
Thus internet IR porn became the life for me
One day the right logistical and emotional & mental situation will present itself for RL again. I hope
