Temporary loss of respect?

P

Pegramguy

Male
Speaking with my gf about this lifestyle we plan to enter it together after we have our first baby which will be soon.

I asked her if seeing me submit and do some of the things she has asked me to do to her and her bull as a beta would make her loose respect for me or so me as less of a man to her.


Her reply to me was strange. She said yes but only while hes there and its only temporary. Since hes the alpha when hes there my job is to serve and submit to him and she would see me differently.

Im concerned. Do any other wives see their husbands like this and its only temporary?? I have a hard time imagining this is a pick up and put down role reversal right?
 
Well it's kind of hard to submit, which means give up control and your manhood and still expect to be seen as such. Also, it's unfair to ask or demand the same respect when you willingly gave up the right to be respected. If you truly value that respect, then being a cuckold is not for you.
 
Darkjumper said:
Well it's kind of hard to submit, which means give up control and your manhood and still expect to be seen as such. Also, it's unfair to ask or demand the same respect when you willingly gave up the right to be respected. If you truly value that respect, then being a cuckold is not for you.
Click to expand...
excellent post! I feel the same way. I'm all man but know my place and accept that. I've been humiliated and used several times and actually it keeps me calmer and grounded.
 
Some women really struggle with this. Thankfully there are some who no matter how much cum you consume, they will always view you as the PERSON they fell in love with. Labels cause so many problems, and if she thinks of you as less of a man then really think twice about this. And I mean the whole relationship, not just the entering a new lifestyle.
 
She probably wont see you in the same light as an Alpha Male in her life, largely because you have relinquished that title. But there are loads of people we respect who aren't 'alphas'. You and your wife are on a journey that includes your submission, it doesn't have to be defined by it unless you make it so. You may find that not worrying about being a dominant man that you arent at heart makes you a better ******* and caregiver, domestic supporter, etc.
 
Darkjumper said:
Well it's kind of hard to submit, which means give up control and your manhood and still expect to be seen as such. Also, it's unfair to ask or demand the same respect when you willingly gave up the right to be respected. If you truly value that respect, then being a cuckold is not for you.
Click to expand...
I disagree. In the BDSM world, Doms don't disrespect subs, they hold them in the highest regard, and are thankful for the trust subs put in them, and the effort they put into serving them. I'll admit it can be a fine line with cukcoldry, especially if verbal humiliation or degradation is part of the play style, which it is for us. Some might find it hard to understand, but my wife loves and respects me, and that's WHY she can say degrading things. She knows how much I can take, what she can guide me through by tempering the torment with affection and attentive aftercare, what will challenge me and excite me without creating any genuine insecurity and causing trouble in our relationship, and she puts effort into giving me that gift. In the same way that I try to give her a safe environment and the freedom to seek getting her brains fucked out, she tries to provide me with a safe space and the freedom to explore being submissive to her. I do give her control of my sexual autonomy, and strive to make her happy with my compliance to her desires and demands. I did not "give up my manhood," nor does she see me as less of a man. I did not "give up my right to be respected," as you put it. Every human has that right, whether they enjoy watching their spouses get fucked or not.

I am her devoted sub and cuck. What she does may look like abuse to some, but she knows what she's doing. She's protective of me and definitely doesn't put up with anyone who doesn't understand that doing this takes a great deal of strength and security. She will enlist people who understand us to help her put me in my place, but she'll quickly show the door to anyone who treats me with genuine disrespect. Anyone who thinks poorly about me because of what turns us on is not the kind of person my wife seeks, for the same reason we wouldn't go to a dungeon with a self-proclaimed Dom who doesn't understand negotiating consent or realize that subs control the boundaries of the scene.

We're all in this to enjoy it. All our bulls understand what we both get out of it and endeavor to help provide that.
 
Last edited:
Pegramguy said:
Speaking with my gf about this lifestyle we plan to enter it together after we have our first baby which will be soon.

I asked her if seeing me submit and do some of the things she has asked me to do to her and her bull as a beta would make her loose respect for me or so me as less of a man to her.


Her reply to me was strange. She said yes but only while hes there and its only temporary. Since hes the alpha when hes there my job is to serve and submit to him and she would see me differently.

Im concerned. Do any other wives see their husbands like this and its only temporary?? I have a hard time imagining this is a pick up and put down role reversal right?
Click to expand...
If you can't separate the bedroom from real life this is probably not the lifestyle for you as a couple.
 
JemmaNye&Herbi said:
I disagree. In the BDSM world, Doms don't disrespect subs, they hold them in the highest regard, and are thankful for the trust subs put in them, and the effort they put into serving them. I'll admit it can be a fine line with cukcoldry, especially if verbal humiliation or degradation is part of the play style, which it is for us. Some might find it hard to understand, but my wife loves and respects me, and that's WHY she can say degrading things. She knows how much I can take, what she can guide me through by tempering the torment with affection and attentive aftercare, what will challenge me and excite me without creating any genuine insecurity and causing trouble in our relationship, and she puts effort into giving me that gift. In the same way that I try to give her a safe environment and the freedom to seek getting her brains fucked out, she tries to provide me with a safe space and the freedom to explore being submissive to her. I do give her control of my sexual autonomy, and strive to make her happy with my compliance to her desires and demands. I did not "give up my manhood," nor does she see me as less of a man. I did not "give up my right to be respected," as you put it. Every human has that right, whether they enjoy watching their spouses get fucked or not.

I am her devoted sub and cuck. What she does may look like abuse to some, but she knows what she's doing. She's protective of me and definitely doesn't put up with anyone who doesn't understand that doing this takes a great deal of strength and security. She will enlist people who understand us to help her put me in my place, but she'll quickly show the door to anyone who treats me with genuine disrespect. Anyone who thinks poorly about me because of what turns us on is not the kind of person my wife seeks, for the same reason we wouldn't go to a dungeon with a self-proclaimed Dom who doesn't understand negotiating consent or realize that subs control the boundaries of the scene.

We're all in this to enjoy it. All our bulls understand what we both get out of it and endeavor to help provide that.
Click to expand...
Oh trust me, I know and understand the Dom/sub role and lifestyle. Been a Dom for years. But, as you mentioned, cuckoldry does offer some room for doubt or question. My apologies, I assure you, was not passing judgement. And I know it all comes down to each couple per se. It js never cut and dry, always some gray areas, and then there is also perception. Hey I wish all nothing but happiness, just make sure whatever role you play, you can live with the consequences whether good or bad. Ok who wants cake lol 🍰🎂?
 
Darkjumper said:
Oh trust me, I know and understand the Dom/sub role and lifestyle. Been a Dom for years. But, as you mentioned, cuckoldry does offer some room for doubt or question. My apologies, I assure you, was not passing judgement. And I know it all comes down to each couple per se. It js never cut and dry, always some gray areas, and then there is also perception. Hey I wish all nothing but happiness, just make sure whatever role you play, you can live with the consequences whether good or bad. Ok who wants cake lol 🍰🎂?
Click to expand...
Fair enough! Thanks for the response and the clarification. I'll take some cake. Lol!
 
Respect as i know it does not come with a key or switch. There is no way to turn it off and on. You can pretend to disrespect but doing it on a temporary basis for real, somebody's out of wack in my opinion.
 
I can't speak for anybody else man or woman on that however I can say this.
To me, there is no shame to be had. Your brave enough to indulge in your kink
and make yourself vulnerable. This deserves respect. I for one hold cucks in the same regard as anybody else.
They are fellow men and brothers indulging in the lifestyle that suites them. At the end of the day so long as
you and yours are still a tight unit, that is what counts. And always remember, you give up control WILLINGLY,
it is not taken from you!
 
Pegramguy said:
Speaking with my gf about this lifestyle we plan to enter it together after we have our first baby which will be soon.

I asked her if seeing me submit and do some of the things she has asked me to do to her and her bull as a beta would make her loose respect for me or so me as less of a man to her.


Her reply to me was strange. She said yes but only while hes there and its only temporary. Since hes the alpha when hes there my job is to serve and submit to him and she would see me differently.

Im concerned. Do any other wives see their husbands like this and its only temporary?? I have a hard time imagining this is a pick up and put down role reversal right?
Click to expand...
So, let me get this straight, you're working and providing for both her and the bambino....you will sacrifice financially and also, sexually, to appease her but, she will temporarily lose "RESPECT" for you. Under no circumstances do you enter the LS until you both thoroughly address boundaries and rules when it cums to playtime. Additionally, you as man make it very CLEAR playing a "CUCK" is one thing but, you can become a "BULL" in a nano-second if, lines are crossed.

Oh yes get to the gym and start training in Jiu Jitsu.....if, you and wifey eventually, enter the LS then, it's good to let her BULLS see that hubby is build just like them but also, with skills.....lol.
 
Pegramguy said:
Speaking with my gf about this lifestyle we plan to enter it together after we have our first baby which will be soon.

I asked her if seeing me submit and do some of the things she has asked me to do to her and her bull as a beta would make her loose respect for me or so me as less of a man to her.


Her reply to me was strange. She said yes but only while hes there and its only temporary. Since hes the alpha when hes there my job is to serve and submit to him and she would see me differently.

Im concerned. Do any other wives see their husbands like this and its only temporary?? I have a hard time imagining this is a pick up and put down role reversal right?
Click to expand...
Good question. Is there anything like a temporary loss of respect? I believe anybody given specific circumstances could seem to loose respect / disrespect somebody else. One of those circumstances could be a game. In this lifestyle, there is a lot of playing with status and roles. You'll only learn how long some disrespecting / humiliating attitudes could last. I had a rel to a woman in this lifestyle who not only tricked me into believing our rel could be anything but that of cuckoldry and permanent humiliation. But I'm now married to a lady who accepted to get blacked and introduced into the same style, although our rel seems to be one of mutual consideration and respect. However, one bull she was very attracted to and who exerted a strong dominant influence on her asked her once to peg me in front of him. He knew she was doing it to me when things didn't work out on my side. But still it came as a surprise to me. More surprising was though that she obliged without even attempting to ask me. It was as if it was him who was going to penetrate me. But it was my wife. She caressed me and told everything was gonna be all right. I let her do it. After doing a couple of things for her during their meets, this seemed to me one more thing among others. She lubed me well and then pegged me in front of him. He was laughing and she seemed to be amused as well. He came over to her and when I turned my head back they were exchanging kisses and he played with her tits and between her legs. She got truly excited judging by the more energetic thrusts into my ass. She had a face of satisfaction. She moaned and growled. It was strange to me. She told me "c'mon, stroke yourself, baby" and then bowed over to touch my dick. "It's limp" she commented and they laughed again. When she got tired she kissed me and let me lie down. They did too, cuddling and kissing. The bull congratulated her and she was radiant.
After that, things came back to normal. For a while. But after she got pregnant - by me I hope - our sex life took a little turn. She no longer waits to see if I can get a decent stiff-on, but asks me to use her strap-on on her with a cock extension for my dick. Needless to say, it's dark brown and is called after that bull we don't meet anymore.
So what you can see here is that from the moment you do your first steps in this lifestyle you will start a process of progressive emasculation to which you'll be agreeing more and more. I always thought this is all sissy fantasy and used to laught about it. You can go through my posts of all these years and see what I mean. Many "husbands" also say this is gay stuff, etc, etc. I made the experience it is not just fantasy. The obsession with the fantasy aka porn and thinking you can live independently from your addiction is the real trick. You may go on and ask me if I'm happy, and I will say yes. But don't expect respect after giving your woman to someone else. Don't fool yourself and don't fuck for virginity.
 
Darkjumper said:
Well it's kind of hard to submit, which means give up control and your manhood and still expect to be seen as such. Also, it's unfair to ask or demand the same respect when you willingly gave up the right to be respected. If you truly value that respect, then being a cuckold is not for you.
Click to expand...
Plus knowing she’s coming home with you I’d rather the point. She will, but she gets to enjoy losing that respect for you and submitting to a much more masculine and bigger, better man, while always enjoying you were willing to be that vulnerable because you absolutely trust her that much
 
Don’t overthink it.
Most aspects of this lifestyle can be challenging if you think too deeply or bring too much emotion into it.

seeing your wife on all fours, being ravaged by a big black man is exciting....

But sitting with her at the breakfast table the next morning talking about the ******* schoolwork can be a bit surreal

and as for the alpha thing -
There are better men out there.
sexier men. More desirable men. Richer men, more capable men.

men who could take your wife away from you if they wanted to.

thats just life.

that temporary loss of control and submission is the basis of the whole fantasy for many of us.

just enjoy the moment
 
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