not much to do with sex but you guys seem to enjoy my life problems so here’s another…
Ok so i used to work at this restraunt when i was 17-18…i’m 20 now. Anyways..there were waitresses and i was the dishwasher / and i had to get the tables. Plus it was in a white town and i was the only black PERSON in the restraunt majority of the time. To the point where the blacks that would come (customers) would look at me religiously. They’d give me encouragement or what not….Anyways there was this waitress that obviously i had a crush on but i was trying so hard to make it seem like i didn’t. When i got into this job i got into what is called “ Red Pill Rage” You see as a young man…asking others for help on subjects like getting girls is like opening a grenade and keeping it in your pocket. (most of the time) So i would spend my evenings learning “game” from You-tubers who focus on “self improvement” The red pill gave me a lot of very bad views on women i’m still getting out of today.
But back then i was thinking like these waitresses all are getting giant tips from these old mfs. Constantly getting attention…don’t have to worry about competing against others…and wait at the finish line and get used by the “alpha male” because “(80% of women only go for 20% of men)
Ironically i didn’t get my first gf until way after i left that job…But yea i hated them. Or at least that’s what i potrayed to them. They were all young pretty white girls and i kinda just assumed they thought they were above me. Didn’t have problems with the dudes though. I asked the one i mentioned earlier about swapping instagrams…i remember the first few days you know when everyones nice…Then i got heated a few days later and blocked her. After she followed me….and i asked her for her IG….
After that things didn’t really go well between us. She’d raise her voice a lot at me…kinda treat me as i assumed in the beginning. Some of the other waitresses did to. Like even writing this gives me chills. Like when i say they hated me like THEY HATED me. I didn’t even have to say anything to them and i would still get hated on….the looks they gave me when telling me stuff.
This was all like 1-2 years ago. I’m older and much more mature now. Now that i think about it i don’t blame them for treating me the way they did…Honestly it just kinda sucks that’s the impression i left them with. As a angry incel. Which was a self fulfilling role i had made up.
The thing is i’m a bit upset and the fact i just assumed there lives were easy. I assumed the worst of them without even really knowing them. I’d ignore them EVEN when they’d try to be nice to me…because they did…i was just super insecure.
It’s something i wish i could apologize for don’t know where these girls are now. Odds are they probably just forgot all about it and me. But still i just wanted to share this. Oh and none of them were above 30. Two were blonde/ one ginger/ idk what the rest.
I also have this fear that she knew i liked her this whole time…like that’s just embarrassing honestly kinda hope they all forgot i exist. I hope there doing well though.
Ok so i used to work at this restraunt when i was 17-18…i’m 20 now. Anyways..there were waitresses and i was the dishwasher / and i had to get the tables. Plus it was in a white town and i was the only black PERSON in the restraunt majority of the time. To the point where the blacks that would come (customers) would look at me religiously. They’d give me encouragement or what not….Anyways there was this waitress that obviously i had a crush on but i was trying so hard to make it seem like i didn’t. When i got into this job i got into what is called “ Red Pill Rage” You see as a young man…asking others for help on subjects like getting girls is like opening a grenade and keeping it in your pocket. (most of the time) So i would spend my evenings learning “game” from You-tubers who focus on “self improvement” The red pill gave me a lot of very bad views on women i’m still getting out of today.
But back then i was thinking like these waitresses all are getting giant tips from these old mfs. Constantly getting attention…don’t have to worry about competing against others…and wait at the finish line and get used by the “alpha male” because “(80% of women only go for 20% of men)
Ironically i didn’t get my first gf until way after i left that job…But yea i hated them. Or at least that’s what i potrayed to them. They were all young pretty white girls and i kinda just assumed they thought they were above me. Didn’t have problems with the dudes though. I asked the one i mentioned earlier about swapping instagrams…i remember the first few days you know when everyones nice…Then i got heated a few days later and blocked her. After she followed me….and i asked her for her IG….
After that things didn’t really go well between us. She’d raise her voice a lot at me…kinda treat me as i assumed in the beginning. Some of the other waitresses did to. Like even writing this gives me chills. Like when i say they hated me like THEY HATED me. I didn’t even have to say anything to them and i would still get hated on….the looks they gave me when telling me stuff.
This was all like 1-2 years ago. I’m older and much more mature now. Now that i think about it i don’t blame them for treating me the way they did…Honestly it just kinda sucks that’s the impression i left them with. As a angry incel. Which was a self fulfilling role i had made up.
The thing is i’m a bit upset and the fact i just assumed there lives were easy. I assumed the worst of them without even really knowing them. I’d ignore them EVEN when they’d try to be nice to me…because they did…i was just super insecure.
It’s something i wish i could apologize for don’t know where these girls are now. Odds are they probably just forgot all about it and me. But still i just wanted to share this. Oh and none of them were above 30. Two were blonde/ one ginger/ idk what the rest.
I also have this fear that she knew i liked her this whole time…like that’s just embarrassing honestly kinda hope they all forgot i exist. I hope there doing well though.
