Separating love, lust, and just sex.

Ohcarsea

Couple
From
OH, US
Question for the hotwives/couples. Looking for the woman point of view. What did you do to separate the feelings of love from just having sex with someone else? We all have certain attractions we are looking for in a person whether it be another man or woman. Life has programmed us to be monogomous, especially after we've found "that one" mate. We have our spouse whom we love and depend on. They care for us and protect us, pay the bills, raise families, and who we chose to spend the rest of our lives with...blah, blah, blah. Now, after years of this conditioning, my husband tells me to feel free to be a hotwife, but only for sex? My brain can't understand this. Porn isn't our thing and we are not party goers, but we are open minded. The fantasies on B2W are not mainstream and sometimes down right scary. We are wondering if the searching, screening, preparations, planning, getting the timing just right is all worth it. It feels like searching for another mate, but just for sex. And that seems very shallow and selfish knowing it could go really wrong, really quick. The dynamics of it all is scrambling my brain!
 
Many thanks for you vies or maybe ’not the right’ wording, but anyway. I can only talk for my self and are probably at a different stage of life than you. I meet my partner when I was 15 and have just turned 19 at a bar where I went with my black gf. So, it was nor really me that had shallow and selfish view but more my partner (he is 30 yo than I). He took me home and before anything happened, we talked a lot, and I had never thought about the ‘that one’ mate, but really got hooked on him (and still are). He made it clear that he liked to play with younger white girls and his wife accept (I am good friends with her and she knows, I also have good contact with his 2 ******* – both older than I). He is still my partner and I guess you can say I am his ‘hot girlfriend’ and I still have a lot of affection for him and obey
 
For my wife there must be an initial attraction before she fucks a guy, and she prefers long term fwbs where the attraction and intimacy both grow as they become more comfortable with each other. She has a few long term fwbs two of which she has been seeing for in excess of 10 years. One of these two could be more accurately described as a boyfriend or lover.

We have no rules or restrictions and she is free to to anything with her fwbs that she does with me. Most guys like to fuck her, but her lover/boyfriend makes love to her and shows a high level of intimacy. The way they, kiss, cuddle and caress etc makes me feel that I am a voyer priveleged to be watching a true couple making love.

While most other guys who fuck my wife like to cum on her or in her mouth, her boyfriend always goes bare and always cums in her. My wife knows that I am totally okay with her doing anything she wants, and love to see her enjoying herself as much as possible. She will cum for other guys in front of me, and is very vocal when enjoying herself. She will do almost anything the guy asks of her including swallowing there cum in front of me. Despite this she can't let go 100% in front of me. So often after a threesome with her boyfriend she will ask me to sleep in another room so that she can fully let go and give herself 100% to her boyfriend. He has already taken to dinner and is planning on taking her to hotels overnight.

I realise this is not a situation that most married couples would be comfortable with but we have an incredible bond and love each other deeply. Her closeness and bond with her boyfriend does not threaten our relationship as they do not love each other. In reality it brings us closer together and makes us love each other more, and after all I do not own her body, it is her decision who gets to fuck or make love to her.
 
Esto es algo que reconozco al 100%. Y debo decir que me tomó un tiempo acostumbrarme a la idea de que estaba "bien" tener sexo con alguien, sin que los sentimientos estuvieran involucrados. Lo que realmente me ayudó es que MrAmsterdam seguía asegurándome que estaba bien y que confiaba en mí. Su lógica era: "Te gusta el sexo, te gusta tu gran consolador negro, pero un consolador nunca se acercará a un pene" real ". Entonces, ¿por qué te conformarías con menos y no irías por uno real? Sería extraño si ¡De repente me ponía celoso solo porque reemplazaste el plástico con la mejor alternativa! "

Y eso es lo que estamos haciendo desde entonces. Para nosotros (juntos) es realmente un extra, nos encanta jugar con otros (tanto chicos negros como chicas), pero el nivel de intimidad es completamente diferente. Estamos dando un paso más cada vez, pero ahora estoy en un punto en el que ya no tengo dudas y no me estoy conteniendo de ninguna manera cuando me folle otro chico. En 1,5 años pasé de "tener miedo de tener sexo con otro chico" a "amar cuando una BBC se corre dentro de mí". Supongo que eso es lo que se llama progreso.

Solo asegúrese de estar juntos en esto, sepa exactamente dónde están sus límites y asegúrese de que cuando le da su cuerpo a otra persona, su mente y su alma permanezcan con su pareja.
gracias por compartir sus experiencias...queremos comenzar pero todavía tenemos dudas necesitamos ayuda de personas con experiencia
 
I don't think my ex wife is on this site at least nothing that I recognize, but she could make quite a contribution to this thread. She took a black boyfriend about a year and a half into our marriage at the suggestion of one of her best friends. The guy gave her the best and most passionate sex she had ever experienced. Add to that, he was a nice guy who cherished her in multiple ways beyond just sex. I didn't know this was going on at the time, but she was falling madly in love with him and finding opportunities to make love with him more and more frequently. When she finally served me with divorce papers and told me she wanted to be with him she told me the full story. She fell in love with him because of the great sex and the fact that he was a nice guy. She said the urge to be with him overpowered everything else in her life. She left me and had three mixed race children by him and is still with him although unmarried. I don't believe most people can truly separate sex from love or, at least, personal relationships.
 
Question for the hotwives/couples. Looking for the woman point of view. What did you do to separate the feelings of love from just having sex with someone else? We all have certain attractions we are looking for in a person whether it be another man or woman. Life has programmed us to be monogomous, especially after we've found "that one" mate. We have our spouse whom we love and depend on. They care for us and protect us, pay the bills, raise families, and who we chose to spend the rest of our lives with...blah, blah, blah. Now, after years of this conditioning, my husband tells me to feel free to be a hotwife, but only for sex? My brain can't understand this. Porn isn't our thing and we are not party goers, but we are open minded. The fantasies on B2W are not mainstream and sometimes down right scary. We are wondering if the searching, screening, preparations, planning, getting the timing just right is all worth it. It feels like searching for another mate, but just for sex. And that seems very shallow and selfish knowing it could go really wrong, really quick. The dynamics of it all is scrambling my brain!
I hope your husband truly knows what he is letting himself in for. .. A woman's body has evolved to except multiple partners at the same time! .. with each partner shooting their seed deep into her body to compete for her eggs .. this is what we are not taught about sex .. the hard truth that our wife's bodies can take multiple partners right in front of our eyes while she is very much in love with us. Then there is love.. it starts first as a physical attraction as part of sexual foreplay, the attraction, the excitement, the preparation for his cock to penetrate and fuck her .. evolving into love with every orgasm, and every time she feels his cock pump seed deep into her body.

This of course is the dilemma for a married couple about to invite other men into their bedroom. Do they keep it as one night stands .. a purely physical encounter.. the excitement of a new lover, a body, a new cock. .. or do they take a regular partner (or partners) who over time will learn exactly how to make this wonderful woman orgasm, while her husband watches, risking that with each orgasm and each throb of his cock inside her pussy ,she may gradually fall in love with him too?

Only you two can decide.
 
For me. actually. the hottest moments are when my wife also starts to show an emotional attachment to her lover, as well as physical...
same here when friend stayed at ours for awhile Georgia asked me to ask him if he like fuck her, said yes would like see her kissing him passionately when fucking,first time she invited guy to fuck her,she liked him and was emotional with him, I filmed her making love with him,watching film after got her horny, asked if I liked seeing her horny when having sex,i told her I found it horny way kissed him all over his body,she said good because she loved making love to a stranger, said she wanted do it again asap,
 
You know it is exceptionally difficult to put into words or keep things separate. It is one of those things you kind of have to experience for yourself because there are so many different levels. I love my husband and I come home to him and I wear the ring that he put on my finger. At the same time though I have connected with other men that I would say we are more than friends emotionally but not to the level that my husband and me are at. I don't know if they have a term that describes that well. Of course there are just the encounters for fun with no real deep emotions other than wanting to have fun and get off.
 
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