Overwhelmed

Pillowispa

Pillowispa

Female
Real Person
Hello everyone! I'd like to start by saying that I'm a genuine BBC virgin and I've been on a learning curve since joining up (someone had to tell me what 'bareback' meant, is one example of my ignorance). In some ways Im quite innocent. In my mind, though, Im less so.

I have an intense fantasy for handsome large black men. My deepest sexual desires involve being adored by but sexually overpowered by this fantasy man (I like Idris Elba and the boxer, Anthony Joshua;)). It's all a dream to me but one that stays with me when I'm 'awake'. Coming to this site was a step further into the fantasy and one which I've taken without my husband's knowledge; he knows I like Idris and Anthony but he doesnt realise that I consider that type of man to be my sexual ideal. He doesnt realize that my BBC fantasy is the reason why (particularly since joining BlacktoWhite) I've been extra wet when I let him in my knickers (which has also been more frequent since joining). I've wanted to keep a low profile, not show my whole face here, change the odd profile fact (hope that's ok) just so that those who I live near dont somehow recognize me and hubby finds out ( I've come to realize that the danger there also adds to the thrill though).

Since joining and, just yesterday, getting verified I've enjoyed so many interactions with my dream men and been so flattered by being complimented and by being wanted that my self-esteem has been given a real boost. I want to thank everyone who has helped me and the gorgeous men who make me realize that I am wanted, and thank you to BlacktoWhite.net for allowing this to happen to me.
Pillowispa :lips::lips:
 
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Pillowispa said:
Hello everyone! I'd like to start by saying that I'm a genuine BBC virgin and I've been on a learning curve since joining up (someone had to tell me what 'bareback' meant, is one example of my ignorance). In some ways Im quite innocent. In my mind, though, Im less so.

I have an intense fantasy for handsome large black men. My deepest sexual desires involve being adored by but sexually overpowered by this fantasy man (I like Idris Elba and the boxer, Anthony Joshua;)). It's all a dream to me but one that stays with me when I'm 'awake'. Coming to this site was a step further into the fantasy and one which I've taken without my husband's knowledge; he knows I like Idris and Anthony but he doesnt realise that I consider that type of man to be my sexual ideal. He doesnt realize that my BBC fantasy is the reason why (particularly since joining BlacktoWhite) I've been extra wet when I let him in my knickers (which has also been more frequent since joining). I've wanted to keep a low profile, not show my whole face here, change the odd profile fact (hope that's ok) just so that those who I live near dont somehow recognize me and hubby finds out ( I've come to realize that the danger there also adds to the thrill though).

Since joining and, just yesterday, getting verified I've enjoyed so many interactions with my dream men and been so flattered by being complimented and by being wanted that my self-esteem has been given a real boost. I want to thank everyone who has helped me and the gorgeous men who make me realize that I am wanted, and thank you to BlacktoWhite.net for allowing this to happen to me. View attachment 1967069
Pillowispa :lips::lips:
Click to expand...
You do look amazing baby
And i sure lot of man wanted to have a chance with you
Hope you will enjoy the lifestyle
 
I guess everyone should step over the boundaries set up for us by our parents and society. Modern world is much different from what it used to be just 20-30 years ago. What's the point of NOT trying out the lifestyle? So that by the end of the day you proudly announce your virginity? I have chosen the experimentation approach. And with the support and approval of my husband this approach seems less sinful. So, do it while you can.
 
Pillowispa said:
Hello everyone! I'd like to start by saying that I'm a genuine BBC virgin and I've been on a learning curve since joining up (someone had to tell me what 'bareback' meant, is one example of my ignorance). In some ways Im quite innocent. In my mind, though, Im less so.

I have an intense fantasy for handsome large black men. My deepest sexual desires involve being adored by but sexually overpowered by this fantasy man (I like Idris Elba and the boxer, Anthony Joshua;)). It's all a dream to me but one that stays with me when I'm 'awake'. Coming to this site was a step further into the fantasy and one which I've taken without my husband's knowledge; he knows I like Idris and Anthony but he doesnt realise that I consider that type of man to be my sexual ideal. He doesnt realize that my BBC fantasy is the reason why (particularly since joining BlacktoWhite) I've been extra wet when I let him in my knickers (which has also been more frequent since joining). I've wanted to keep a low profile, not show my whole face here, change the odd profile fact (hope that's ok) just so that those who I live near dont somehow recognize me and hubby finds out ( I've come to realize that the danger there also adds to the thrill though).

Since joining and, just yesterday, getting verified I've enjoyed so many interactions with my dream men and been so flattered by being complimented and by being wanted that my self-esteem has been given a real boost. I want to thank everyone who has helped me and the gorgeous men who make me realize that I am wanted, and thank you to BlacktoWhite.net for allowing this to happen to me. View attachment 1967069
Pillowispa :lips::lips:
Click to expand...

So real, I love your candor, I feel in your writing your draw to this desire. Love it, thanks keep us up to date.
 
What a sexy and exciting post! While reading it, I pictured a flower bud opening and blossoming.

Physically, you are utterly gorgeous and so desirable, but you don't need me to tell you that. Sounds like you've got a lot of other guys doing that now ;)

I really like how you talked about learning more, "the dream" staying with you as you become more adventurous on the site, and also how you're more turned on with your lover as your head is filled with these thoughts. I feel the same way, but from your hubby's perspective.

I wonder what your next step in this development will be, what the next stage of this blossoming will look like?
 
First off, welcome.

Everyone needs to come to grips with their own inner desires. Nobody can make that decision for you. What is right for you may not be right for someone else. And I believe you can see from this site, you are NOT alone.

J
 
Glad you are enjoying the site and its thrill. Few ideas to consider.
1. Like MonikaV said, no rush into getting laid. Talk and converse genuinely before opening up to hot wet beautiful treasure.
2. If you don't want your hubby and others around you to recognize you, really remove your pictures from here, after verification, and share only one decent picture with the gentleman you have decided to give a shot with. The world is too small, and a neighbor ready to blackmail you, among others might be just here on this site.
 
Wow, such a very deep words coming out from a so sexy woman, that had the courage to get on here and share her beautiful face with us, you are such a lovely sexy woman hun, Enjoy and welcome to the B2W you sexy ;)
 
I can understand you very well, I spent two years with my husband before having the first real experience.
I believe starting to introduce this fantasy into your sexual life with your partner is the right approach, you have to avoid to hurt him. In our case playing with big black dildos was really funny and effective, I suggest you.
 
Hello again fellow Illinoisian, I like this post and agree with what many have said. I'm glad you decided to join and encourage you to take your time to find what you want and what works for your comfort level. You can find that and sometimes just a listening ear here and i wish you the best of luck
 
Pillowispa said:
I think about it. Maybe I can introduce a little of my fantasy into our bedroom and see how he responds to it (In our talk, I mean; Not by bringing an actual BBC into the bedroom. That would be too much too soon). Thanks for your advice:lips:
Click to expand...
If your husband is open to it as an idea/ fantasy and has no sexual insecurities or jealousy issues, I would definitely bring it up with him. You'd be amazed how liberating it is being able to share your true inner wants and needs with a partner in crime. It can bring closer then you've ever been. One single night with another man, can give you days/ weeks/ months of intense intimacy, sex, conversation. Plus if he's on board as a willing cuckold, be prepared to be pampered, desired, spoiled as his desire to share you and then win/ reclaim you back as his own becomes stronger everytime.
 
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Welcome to the site. Like others have said you will find a lot of support and advice here. Your dream has been dreams some of us have not only had but have explored. It is a great experience and one if possible to be shared with your husband.

It is best to talk to him about it. But take your time. Don't just jump into it. It will take time for him to wrap his mind around this. If he is liking how wet you get after being on here and watching IR porn, then have him watch some IR porn with you. Go out and purchase a black dildo together tell him how hot you think it would be for him to use it on you. Talk about it but don't push. Ask him what fantasies he has as well. Try and fulfill his fantasies. He will be more willing to join you in fulfilling yours.

I hope you are very successful in being able to make your dreams come true.
 
WOW! Talk about being overwhelmed...
I had to go to my doctor's surgery to get xray results this morning. I took hubby with me (I was a little apprehensive of the results but everything was good) and we waited outside the room in a corridor. My surgery keeps changing doctors and I hadn't seen the doctor with the name on the door. My name came up on the screen for me to enter so I and my hubby went in.
The doctor was from Africa. Tall, good looking and, as he talked to me and my husband it was obvious he was charming too. First thing he asked my hubby was 'has she been a good girl?'.
He was being complimentary and funny and smiling and talking...to me. Joking with ME.
The first real question he asked me I couldn't think straight; I was totally flustered and stuttered over my words trying to get a coherent answer out of my mouth. I apologized...but then I blurted out the reason why I was flustered with a giggle 'It's because you're REALLY good looking'.
The doctor, as I found out afterwards, looked at my hubby, as if apologizing for having this effect on me or feeling awkward that my hubby was there to witness this confession. Hubby just shrugged in reply. I had to stand and let the doctor feel the area of my back that I was feeing a little sore (he was touching me). I did my best to listen to what the doctor was saying and got some composure but, when we'd finished the consultation he asked if we had any more questions. I just blurted out (and this makes me cringe too) 'Yeah. Can I have your phone number?'. IT WAS A JOKE!! My husband (and all the actions of my hubby during this time were told to me by him after the event; I had no idea what he was doing. For all I knew, he wasn't in the room.) apologized as we got up and said goodbye.
I was laughing as I left. So was hubby. He was ok with me being flustered by the doctor, just like he knows of my celebrity crushes, but as we were walking away (still trying to regain composure- took me about 20 minutes) I said, 'I REALLY have a thing for black men'. He laughed with me as we walked on and he joked with me about me suddenly coming up with new ailments.
I can't believe how out of control I felt in that doctor's presence.
I was pleased that my husband didn't get jealous (we kissed a few times as we laughed and walked - we're still in that cycle of me being turned on by my talking to site members and he reaping my horny benefits when he gets home) so maybe I can keep at it a little; bring up the doctor and Idris and Anthony a little more, make a comment to him if I see a black man I like the look of.
I'm still feeling giddy from the experience though...I'll have to have a little lie down before I do ANYTHING else.:lips:
 
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