I'd let it sit for awhile. Keep doing the IR porn and the Black dildo but don't talk about making it a reality for a bit. Women feel pressured easily. If she feels pressured, she'll reject the whole thing. If you are a cuckold, then by nature, you are submissive. You should start waiting on her and taking care of her -- do her laundry, bring her a *******, rub her feet, put away her clothes when she undresses. Just tell her you enjoy doing things for her. All of theses efforts combined will help soften her up.