If you're a married women and having sex with other men, your husband is a cuck just by the definition of that word. It really doesn't matter whether he knows you're having sex with other men, doesn't know, doesn't care, etc ... it does NOT MATTER.
Also, the cuckold relationship does not have to include a black male, and in fact, often doesn't.
On THIS site, however, its "blacktowhite" which is why most people are here for the added taboo & stimulation of interracial sex.
The cuckold experience for couples is like purchasing a car. You can get the plain car, or you can add all the bells & whistles it has to offer. In cuckold relationships those bells & whistles would include such things as cock locks, hubby cleanup duty, humiliation, subservient duties, discipline, the Cuckold Agreement, creampies, pregnancy play, tattoos, sissy dressing, etc etc ... everyone has their own preferences. The main thing, however, is that it's something that should enhance the sexual relationship of the couple. It's a joint adventure that only works when all 3 parties are happy.
All that said, do what makes you happy and adds strength to the marriage or relationship. I always encourage couples to develop a secret word between them that can be spoken when one or the other spouse wishes the activities to stop or slow down.
There's a lot of exaggeration here, and a lot of people who fake their gender or race ... so don't concern yourself with those people. Focus on your own relationship & happiness.
Good Luck ... Mac