"How do you find these parties?"
Keep in mind some of these are by invitation only, you may need an invitation from a member to join these events. You can find them through the internet if your lucky, or you can find them on fetlife much easier through various groups under BBC. Swingers parties may also provide a way into these parties, many BBC in the lifestyle know where the parties are, but as I said, they're not always open to the public. You may have to pay a fee to get in some of them.