One of the dangers of adding a person(s) to your intimate life is things can take an unexpected turn. Apparently your wife really liked what she got. A horny woman and a man with a hard cock generally don't have much in the way of a conscience so what happened initially isn't all that surprising. I have found that frequently when a new woman comes to my bed that initially she can be demanding. The novelty often wears off and things settle down after a while. If you have a solid marriage letting things run their course is likely the best things. None of the women that share my bed involve their husbands, whether their husbands are aware I don't know. I am always very discrete. You have let the genie out of the bottle but it appears you are adjusting. But the reality is she is likely to do what she wants with or without your consent so the best approach for you is to stay involved and supportive