I'm a writer, and recently a gentleman reached out to me to write on the female perspective on Wife Sharing. For context, here is who I am:
I'm a lifelong entrepreneur and women's empowerment coach. I've built more than one six-figure business and have always been in command of my personal, financial and social life. I was married to my *******'s ******* for 15 years, and although he is a good man, we lived completely separate lives. It was not a partnership at all.
One day after major surgery, I came to the realization I could not live like I had been living.
Despite my deep reservations against divorce, I felt like I was living in a relationship where I had all the obligations and restrictions of monogamous marriage and NONE of the benefits.
I did not have a companion, a lover, or a friend. And so I asked for a divorce.
For many years after the divorce, I was happily solo….and didn't even date for ten years. I was SOLIDLY convinced I'd never "do" a relationship again.
I decided I still needed companionship and love and friendship, and all the things I had wanted all my life.
So, I ventured out.
I played to my natural inclinations and found play pals that I could dominate. I relished taking control and getting inside a man's head and playing out something he craved. I got off on power. And FREEDOM. I decided quickly: a cuckold male. Why? For me, I had made a rock-solid commitment to myself that never again would the expectations of monogamy trap me. It may be the mainstream in American society. Still, it is not suitable for me at all, or natural, in my opinion. I believe women should own and share and enjoy their bodies however they see fit.
The expectations of monogamy would not trap me again.
I was serious about finding a cuck. I placed an ad on an open website, and my darling husband responded to my ad. We have been delighted together for almost eight years. We have grown and evolved and explored many of the joys of non-monogamy. We are still evolving to this day.
I should add that he is entirely monogamous with me. I am the one who is not. That is what we both wanted, and it set the base for our agreements.
Wife sharing today is more and more mainstream but more often than not initiated by the man. It is EXCEEDINGLY rare that a woman will go to her husband and seek sex with other men. In my case, it was on the table from the first date, and I will NEVER ask permission for it. I also realize I'm far from a "mainstream" woman.
Here is a list of reasons and motivations why people may be attracted to a shared wife lifestyle and why men might be interested in watching their wives with other men.
Your Health and Well-Being:
If you are over 45 and female, you will need to take good care of your endocrine system and hormone levels. It is a good discussion for any woman who feels like her libido isn't what it should be. Men: support your woman's health!
Since I have had a hysterectomy, I use bio-identical HRT to keep my hormones in balance. It has paid HUGE dividends. Before the Covid lockdown, I spent the weekend with a great man (half my age), and I enjoyed him until he could barely crawl back to his car after the weekend. We didn't need a drop of lube the whole weekend: I rest my case on why you should fix your hormones if you are 45 and above. It is the key to your health, happiness, and sexual vitality.
Reasons To Consider Being a Shared Wife:
· Female empowerment. It did not surprise me to hear my husband describe the joy he felt at my increased independence, confidence, and assertiveness. This was 100% inspired by my freedom to have sex with other men. Through my open sexuality, we actively and consciously reject social pressures to suppress female sexuality, assert monogamy, and a wholesale rejection of patriarchal power.
I'm designed the way I am in the pursuit of freedom and why I'm dedicated to raising awareness for women everywhere to take control of their sexual behavior and pleasure. My husband enjoys every second of how happy I am, how vital, how energized I become with a new lover. In turn, I am more dedicated to him than I've ever been.
Sperm competition:
As researchers Baker and Bellis have suggested, a biological response playing out affects a male sexual drive. After watching their wife with another man, the husband may be biologically able to have more prolonged and more vigorous sex. Also, he may have a shorter refractory period between erections, ejaculates more intensely, and ejaculate that contains more sperm. I will affirm this. After I've been with another man, my husband is like a wild *******, and I love it.
· Voyeurism:
Many suggest that we live in a "pornified culture," where most men of college-age and older have seen pornography and use it as a part of their sexual repertoire. Watching your wife have sex with another man may be a next step, or progression, from watching yourselves have sex by having a mirror on the ceiling, then using a video camera during sex, and finally watching one's spouse with someone else. Many men told me, "My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I'd rather watch her having sex than some porn actress I don't know."
· The thrill of the taboo:
There are few things in our society as stigmatized as a husband whose wife is unfaithful. Historically, such men have been beaten, ostracized, ridiculed, and regarded as weak, "sissy men." In many cultures, the woman will pay with her life.
Some of the men I've interviewed described that the taboo was the thrill for them. Starting with the excitement of the forbidden and the naughty. I'll take this one step further: I sincerely believe that most people have very embedded sexual shame and guilt. Playing in this arena is a very healthy way to expose those acts or thoughts that can produce shame, but playing them out and bringing them light is healthy and can lead to greater intimacy.
· Bisexuality:
Male bisexuality can play a role in the husband's desire to watch his wife have sex with another man. Sometimes, bringing a man to bed with the wife was a pretext—a bait and switch, if you will—for the husband to engage sexually with the man. Sometimes, the husbands were overly concerned about being seen as heterosexual. Still, they spent an awful lot of time looking for well-endowed men for their wives. In my mind, a man who is that focused on the size of other men's penises does not necessarily qualify as all that straight. (and it doesn't matter) The point is: it's healthier for the couple to openly talk about this and not shame him if he wants to experiment with men too.
Women: you can be the great healer of your husband's heart and soul to support his interests in this area.
· Female sexual fulfillment;
A healthy woman's sexual capacity is FAR greater than that of males'. The world record for male orgasms is about 26 in 24 hours. Per Sherfey's research, women have documented as many as 60-65 orgasms in a single hour. I saw many men who reported that their wives were highly sexual beings with a greater sexual capacity. It simply turned the husbands on and pleased them to see their wives sexually satisfied, to the degree that a single husband couldn't match. This is the case with us.
I also speculate that there is a degree of vicarious experience here. By being a part of the experience, the husband gets to vicariously experience what it's like to have that greater sexual capacity and identifies with his wife and the essence of female sexuality in a way that most men never experience. There is a term in Polyamory that is "compersion." It is the opposite of jealousy, and where your partner is genuinely happy to see your happiness. It is worth working toward and very rewarding.
· Masochism:
Leopold von Sacher-Masoch was a 19th-century fan of flagellation who wrote Venus in Furs about dominant women. Masochism was named after him. Leopold posted ads in German newspapers of the day, looking for "energetic young men" to befriend and pleasure his wife. Leopold's interest in the experience was specifically the humiliation aspect—being cuckolded, treated as weak, lesser, and not a real man. Like those who seek the taboo, these cuckolds often seek out a strong SM flavor. The husbands are dominated, belittled, and degraded.
My husband has this, so I took a class to understand erotic humiliation better. Women are systemically programmed to never tread on the ever-fragile male ego. In the cuck male, there can be a need to experience verbal and perhaps physical humiliation. Here is how I understand it: Erotic humiliation is to draw all the sexual shame and guilt we carry up to the surface, to look at, talk about, and in so doing, it releases the disgrace that has hidden inside. Don't underestimate how powerful and healing this is. I believe when you deeply understand the cuck male and help him live out these things, it will bind him to you in ways NOTHING else can do.
· The royalty perk:
In the 1960's Motown song, the line goes "save the last dance for me," as the husband watches his wife dance with other men. Many of the men I interviewed got a thrill, a sense of being "king" that they had a wife who was so sexy that other men wanted to be with, but who ultimately came home to him, the husband. It made the men feel powerful and successful that they had such a sexy wife. I believe this is especially true if your cuck has been humiliated by the bull, he still goes home with the prize.
Misogyny:
Sadly, I've seen some couples in which the husband's encouragement of having sex with other men was about degrading the woman. Some of these men talked about treating the wife as a whore, as a piece of meat, and "taking her down a peg." I reject this methodology entirely and hope that women who have endured this learn a better way to have pleasure. As in every corner of the kink world, there are toxic, dangerous people who do not have your best interests in mind. Beware!
So my challenge to you is: own your power. Figure out what you want and pursue it! Be open-minded and non-judgmental, be completely honest with your partner and lovers about everything, and you will join this tremendous life-affirming adventure!
Stay tuned for our ongoing adventures: into Polyamory. Make a good thing permanent!
Visit my blog here: https://womanspleasures.tumblr.com/.
Tags: (add)
2 minutes ago
I'm a lifelong entrepreneur and women's empowerment coach. I've built more than one six-figure business and have always been in command of my personal, financial and social life. I was married to my *******'s ******* for 15 years, and although he is a good man, we lived completely separate lives. It was not a partnership at all.
One day after major surgery, I came to the realization I could not live like I had been living.
Despite my deep reservations against divorce, I felt like I was living in a relationship where I had all the obligations and restrictions of monogamous marriage and NONE of the benefits.
I did not have a companion, a lover, or a friend. And so I asked for a divorce.
For many years after the divorce, I was happily solo….and didn't even date for ten years. I was SOLIDLY convinced I'd never "do" a relationship again.
I decided I still needed companionship and love and friendship, and all the things I had wanted all my life.
So, I ventured out.
I played to my natural inclinations and found play pals that I could dominate. I relished taking control and getting inside a man's head and playing out something he craved. I got off on power. And FREEDOM. I decided quickly: a cuckold male. Why? For me, I had made a rock-solid commitment to myself that never again would the expectations of monogamy trap me. It may be the mainstream in American society. Still, it is not suitable for me at all, or natural, in my opinion. I believe women should own and share and enjoy their bodies however they see fit.
The expectations of monogamy would not trap me again.
I was serious about finding a cuck. I placed an ad on an open website, and my darling husband responded to my ad. We have been delighted together for almost eight years. We have grown and evolved and explored many of the joys of non-monogamy. We are still evolving to this day.
I should add that he is entirely monogamous with me. I am the one who is not. That is what we both wanted, and it set the base for our agreements.
Wife sharing today is more and more mainstream but more often than not initiated by the man. It is EXCEEDINGLY rare that a woman will go to her husband and seek sex with other men. In my case, it was on the table from the first date, and I will NEVER ask permission for it. I also realize I'm far from a "mainstream" woman.
Here is a list of reasons and motivations why people may be attracted to a shared wife lifestyle and why men might be interested in watching their wives with other men.
Your Health and Well-Being:
If you are over 45 and female, you will need to take good care of your endocrine system and hormone levels. It is a good discussion for any woman who feels like her libido isn't what it should be. Men: support your woman's health!
Since I have had a hysterectomy, I use bio-identical HRT to keep my hormones in balance. It has paid HUGE dividends. Before the Covid lockdown, I spent the weekend with a great man (half my age), and I enjoyed him until he could barely crawl back to his car after the weekend. We didn't need a drop of lube the whole weekend: I rest my case on why you should fix your hormones if you are 45 and above. It is the key to your health, happiness, and sexual vitality.
Reasons To Consider Being a Shared Wife:
· Female empowerment. It did not surprise me to hear my husband describe the joy he felt at my increased independence, confidence, and assertiveness. This was 100% inspired by my freedom to have sex with other men. Through my open sexuality, we actively and consciously reject social pressures to suppress female sexuality, assert monogamy, and a wholesale rejection of patriarchal power.
I'm designed the way I am in the pursuit of freedom and why I'm dedicated to raising awareness for women everywhere to take control of their sexual behavior and pleasure. My husband enjoys every second of how happy I am, how vital, how energized I become with a new lover. In turn, I am more dedicated to him than I've ever been.
Sperm competition:
As researchers Baker and Bellis have suggested, a biological response playing out affects a male sexual drive. After watching their wife with another man, the husband may be biologically able to have more prolonged and more vigorous sex. Also, he may have a shorter refractory period between erections, ejaculates more intensely, and ejaculate that contains more sperm. I will affirm this. After I've been with another man, my husband is like a wild *******, and I love it.
· Voyeurism:
Many suggest that we live in a "pornified culture," where most men of college-age and older have seen pornography and use it as a part of their sexual repertoire. Watching your wife have sex with another man may be a next step, or progression, from watching yourselves have sex by having a mirror on the ceiling, then using a video camera during sex, and finally watching one's spouse with someone else. Many men told me, "My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I'd rather watch her having sex than some porn actress I don't know."
· The thrill of the taboo:
There are few things in our society as stigmatized as a husband whose wife is unfaithful. Historically, such men have been beaten, ostracized, ridiculed, and regarded as weak, "sissy men." In many cultures, the woman will pay with her life.
Some of the men I've interviewed described that the taboo was the thrill for them. Starting with the excitement of the forbidden and the naughty. I'll take this one step further: I sincerely believe that most people have very embedded sexual shame and guilt. Playing in this arena is a very healthy way to expose those acts or thoughts that can produce shame, but playing them out and bringing them light is healthy and can lead to greater intimacy.
· Bisexuality:
Male bisexuality can play a role in the husband's desire to watch his wife have sex with another man. Sometimes, bringing a man to bed with the wife was a pretext—a bait and switch, if you will—for the husband to engage sexually with the man. Sometimes, the husbands were overly concerned about being seen as heterosexual. Still, they spent an awful lot of time looking for well-endowed men for their wives. In my mind, a man who is that focused on the size of other men's penises does not necessarily qualify as all that straight. (and it doesn't matter) The point is: it's healthier for the couple to openly talk about this and not shame him if he wants to experiment with men too.
Women: you can be the great healer of your husband's heart and soul to support his interests in this area.
· Female sexual fulfillment;
A healthy woman's sexual capacity is FAR greater than that of males'. The world record for male orgasms is about 26 in 24 hours. Per Sherfey's research, women have documented as many as 60-65 orgasms in a single hour. I saw many men who reported that their wives were highly sexual beings with a greater sexual capacity. It simply turned the husbands on and pleased them to see their wives sexually satisfied, to the degree that a single husband couldn't match. This is the case with us.
I also speculate that there is a degree of vicarious experience here. By being a part of the experience, the husband gets to vicariously experience what it's like to have that greater sexual capacity and identifies with his wife and the essence of female sexuality in a way that most men never experience. There is a term in Polyamory that is "compersion." It is the opposite of jealousy, and where your partner is genuinely happy to see your happiness. It is worth working toward and very rewarding.
· Masochism:
Leopold von Sacher-Masoch was a 19th-century fan of flagellation who wrote Venus in Furs about dominant women. Masochism was named after him. Leopold posted ads in German newspapers of the day, looking for "energetic young men" to befriend and pleasure his wife. Leopold's interest in the experience was specifically the humiliation aspect—being cuckolded, treated as weak, lesser, and not a real man. Like those who seek the taboo, these cuckolds often seek out a strong SM flavor. The husbands are dominated, belittled, and degraded.
My husband has this, so I took a class to understand erotic humiliation better. Women are systemically programmed to never tread on the ever-fragile male ego. In the cuck male, there can be a need to experience verbal and perhaps physical humiliation. Here is how I understand it: Erotic humiliation is to draw all the sexual shame and guilt we carry up to the surface, to look at, talk about, and in so doing, it releases the disgrace that has hidden inside. Don't underestimate how powerful and healing this is. I believe when you deeply understand the cuck male and help him live out these things, it will bind him to you in ways NOTHING else can do.
· The royalty perk:
In the 1960's Motown song, the line goes "save the last dance for me," as the husband watches his wife dance with other men. Many of the men I interviewed got a thrill, a sense of being "king" that they had a wife who was so sexy that other men wanted to be with, but who ultimately came home to him, the husband. It made the men feel powerful and successful that they had such a sexy wife. I believe this is especially true if your cuck has been humiliated by the bull, he still goes home with the prize.
Misogyny:
Sadly, I've seen some couples in which the husband's encouragement of having sex with other men was about degrading the woman. Some of these men talked about treating the wife as a whore, as a piece of meat, and "taking her down a peg." I reject this methodology entirely and hope that women who have endured this learn a better way to have pleasure. As in every corner of the kink world, there are toxic, dangerous people who do not have your best interests in mind. Beware!
So my challenge to you is: own your power. Figure out what you want and pursue it! Be open-minded and non-judgmental, be completely honest with your partner and lovers about everything, and you will join this tremendous life-affirming adventure!
Stay tuned for our ongoing adventures: into Polyamory. Make a good thing permanent!
Visit my blog here: https://womanspleasures.tumblr.com/.
Tags: (add)
2 minutes ago
