WhiteVoyeur
Male
Hi everyone, just a bit of context:
Long story short, I'm a white guy in his early 20s, i've had a huge porn addiction for over 10years. When i was around 16yo, i started to watch more and more extreme genres of porn since it's the only thing i was doing all day long and in these "extreme" genre there was ir porn, not really extreme but it came with the whole cuckolding and raceplay package. I didn't pay attention to it right away since i was watching way more hardcore stuff at that time but when i realised i had a problem with porn, i started the whole nofap thing wich helped me a lot for a year or so but the only kind of porn that made relapse every single time was interracial porn. I can try as hard as i can, the fact is that the triggers are absolutely everywhere in the medias, outsides and everything and everytime i see one trigger like just one interracial couple in the whole city, my brain overthink it and start imagining stuff and i quickly go back to my old habits and i hate it. Don't get me wrong, i absolutely love ir porn, nothings get me off harder than that. It's the only kind of porn that i can watch all day without getting bored and always be rock hard for it. The thing is, everytime i finish i feel completely ashamed, i hate myself for watching this cuz i don't want to be a cuck, i want to have a "normal" relationship and all but everytime i try to go like just a week without my brain can't help but only think about ir porn and all, i don't even see a beautiful women irl as a potential partner or whatever so i don't try to hit on them, i just think that she must have a black boyfriend and give up.
I've been like this for almost 2 years now (or at least, it started to bother me 2years ago). Recreating all my olds ir porn accounts when i'm horny and deleting them right after because i'm ashamed. and it only gotten worse when i couldn't perform with a girl last year, since then i relapse every 3 days and i'm sick of it. I'm sick of trying to quit this addiction, it's been way to long now, i'd like to fully accept it, but my brain is killing me everytime.
All that for this question: Did any of you struggled to accept your fetish in the beginning? if so, do you have any tips to make it easier?
Long story short, I'm a white guy in his early 20s, i've had a huge porn addiction for over 10years. When i was around 16yo, i started to watch more and more extreme genres of porn since it's the only thing i was doing all day long and in these "extreme" genre there was ir porn, not really extreme but it came with the whole cuckolding and raceplay package. I didn't pay attention to it right away since i was watching way more hardcore stuff at that time but when i realised i had a problem with porn, i started the whole nofap thing wich helped me a lot for a year or so but the only kind of porn that made relapse every single time was interracial porn. I can try as hard as i can, the fact is that the triggers are absolutely everywhere in the medias, outsides and everything and everytime i see one trigger like just one interracial couple in the whole city, my brain overthink it and start imagining stuff and i quickly go back to my old habits and i hate it. Don't get me wrong, i absolutely love ir porn, nothings get me off harder than that. It's the only kind of porn that i can watch all day without getting bored and always be rock hard for it. The thing is, everytime i finish i feel completely ashamed, i hate myself for watching this cuz i don't want to be a cuck, i want to have a "normal" relationship and all but everytime i try to go like just a week without my brain can't help but only think about ir porn and all, i don't even see a beautiful women irl as a potential partner or whatever so i don't try to hit on them, i just think that she must have a black boyfriend and give up.
I've been like this for almost 2 years now (or at least, it started to bother me 2years ago). Recreating all my olds ir porn accounts when i'm horny and deleting them right after because i'm ashamed. and it only gotten worse when i couldn't perform with a girl last year, since then i relapse every 3 days and i'm sick of it. I'm sick of trying to quit this addiction, it's been way to long now, i'd like to fully accept it, but my brain is killing me everytime.
All that for this question: Did any of you struggled to accept your fetish in the beginning? if so, do you have any tips to make it easier?
