Confused Black Man

[alexisday777]

You hit many of the points that are confusing squarely on the head! How do I know if they're into demeaning her, or even him (and as I'm writing this, the thought of 'even me' popped into my mind)? Am I there for the sensual skin contrast, the experience of a man watching his woman thoroughly let loose in a way he can never see when he's with her as his mind is on pleasuring her, but his mind is also on how good it feels to him. He may not see the fingers grasping the sheets, the eyes rolling and fluttering, and he may not hear the subtle groans as he's probably groaning himself! That's what I thought was happening, but it could be a totally different dynamic that's just between the two of them. Am I there for the sensuality? Am I there to demean her? Or, am I there, being demeaned (you let that black man touch and use you!).
This first popped into my mind when a couple, with whom I had been with numerous times over the years, decided to split. According to the wife, the husband, when explaining why they were splitting and how horrible she is, told the children, "your mom lets a N----- fuck her, and he's even fucked her in the ass!" This man, whom I has trusted and had fun times with him and his wife, portrayed me as some despicable, lowlife to his children, all because of the color of my skin (they had swung with white guys and women, but that wasn't mentioned). Perhaps the answer is "it's between the two of them, and I'll never really know what is actually taking place." Long answer, but it was also therapeutic!

This is why I love actually talking with guys before and after playing. All of the questions you seem to have should be stuff that is discussed. Even if just briefly to get a general gist of what to expect. It can be sexy, doesn't have to feel like an inquisition. And you can go into more detail if y'all decide to make it a regular or even semi-regular thing

 

[funcouple52661]

I think all you have to do is ask what their dynamic is. How extreme do they like to get. Tell them what your limits are. Go from there. I never demeaned my husband during play until a guy asked me if it was okay.

 

[Blkdreams88]

I guess having a brief discussion prior is the best way to know. Like I would love to be involved with a bull and my wife but I'd be open about that up front. If the bull wasn't imterested in head from hubby that wouldn't be a deal breaker anyway.

 

[YouWillNeverKn]

Thanks for your view. Hopefully, you can see why what I first thought was "just a good time for her," can have a totally different dynamic, and I may not even have a clue as to what is really going on.

Yeah. Don't do anything that you don't feel comfortable with.

It could be that they want you involved a bit more, It could be that they are happy in their relationship outside of bed but she wants (or they want) her to have some sex on the side. She gets a BBC, you get to fuck an attractive white woman and he gets to jack off. It seems like a fair deal to me, and I've been both the bull and the cuck before (and enjoyed both), but it's up to you whether you take the deal or not.

I wouldn't try to get too involved emotionally however, get yourself a gf of your own for that

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

Love it, but in reality, few couples disclose their true fantasies--especially if it borders on her being demeaned because of the skin color of the guy.

If you are a Black man and think it would be demeaning for a Woman to fuck you because of your skin color, better work on your self-concept, and if you can't manage to do that on your own then seek professional help. Or perhaps i have misunderstood what you were trying to say?

 

[Novarupta12]

Love it, but in reality, few couples disclose their true fantasies--especially if it borders on her being demeaned because of the skin color of the guy.

I found an interesting news on an Italian site that I translated with google translate:
What are the reasons for cuckoldism?

The hypotheses can be many:

the fact that it is often the man who decides the place, the moment and the person with whom the wife will have sexual intercourse, can lead to an issue of control over one's fears of betrayal by the partner: if there is complicity and after all, agreement is not really like being betrayed (“With whom I have chosen yes, with others no!”);
or the deliberate infringement of the pact of fidelity between the members of the couple (more often these are people linked by marriage) can lead to a feeling of omnipotence ("I am able to handle situations that others normally do not tolerate") ;
it could be the desire for a betrayal of the partner and the attempt to appease his sense of guilt by making sure that she is the one to cheat;
it could also hide a sense of inferiority and low self-esteem: reciprocity of the sexual act is avoided so as not to incur a possible rejection and consequently experience frustration, while not depriving the loved woman of her "right" satisfaction;
it could also be a question of a relationship of submission of the husband to his wife, who would impose this conduct on him accompanied by a limitation or even a denial of sexual relations between them;
again, the man could seek this situation to experience his condition as a form of humiliation in order to be able to derive masochistic pleasure from it.
Naturally, when such conduct is no longer a source of pleasure but, for various reasons, comes to cause clinically significant discomfort and/or impairment of important areas of one's life (for example, having repercussions in family, friend and social relationships or in work), it would be advisable to contact a psychotherapist who is a specialist in clinical sexology, who, following the appropriate diagnostic evaluations, can indicate the appropriate therapeutic path to follow.

 

[Novarupta12]

Personally I think that each specific case should be treated by a psychotherapist before causing disturbances to the partner

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

I found an interesting news on an Italian site that I translated with google translate:
What are the reasons for cuckoldism?

The hypotheses can be many:

the fact that it is often the man who decides the place, the moment and the person with whom the wife will have sexual intercourse, can lead to an issue of control over one's fears of betrayal by the partner: if there is complicity and after all, agreement is not really like being betrayed (“With whom I have chosen yes, with others no!”);
or the deliberate infringement of the pact of fidelity between the members of the couple (more often these are people linked by marriage) can lead to a feeling of omnipotence ("I am able to handle situations that others normally do not tolerate") ;
it could be the desire for a betrayal of the partner and the attempt to appease his sense of guilt by making sure that she is the one to cheat;
it could also hide a sense of inferiority and low self-esteem: reciprocity of the sexual act is avoided so as not to incur a possible rejection and consequently experience frustration, while not depriving the loved woman of her "right" satisfaction;
it could also be a question of a relationship of submission of the husband to his wife, who would impose this conduct on him accompanied by a limitation or even a denial of sexual relations between them;
again, the man could seek this situation to experience his condition as a form of humiliation in order to be able to derive masochistic pleasure from it.
Naturally, when such conduct is no longer a source of pleasure but, for various reasons, comes to cause clinically significant discomfort and/or impairment of important areas of one's life (for example, having repercussions in family, friend and social relationships or in work), it would be advisable to contact a psychotherapist who is a specialist in clinical sexology, who, following the appropriate diagnostic evaluations, can indicate the appropriate therapeutic path to follow.

Please also provide a link to the source of origin. Thank you.

 

[Novarupta12]

Please also provide a link to the source of origin. Thank you.

Chi è il cuckold e quali motivazioni ci sono dietro?

Cosa si nasconde dietro alla pratica del cuckoldismo? Le motivazioni che spingono il cuckold a osservare la partner con un altro uomo.

www.medicitalia.it

 

[Novarupta12]

Si prega di fornire anche un collegamento alla fonte di origine. Grazie.

Chi è il cuckold e quali motivazioni ci sono dietro?

Cosa si nasconde dietro alla pratica del cuckoldismo? Le motivazioni che spingono il cuckold a osservare la partner con un altro uomo.

www.medicitalia.it

 

[SanDiegoBlack]

If you are a Black man and think it would be demeaning for a Woman to fuck you because of your skin color, better work on your self-concept, and if you can't manage to do that on your own then seek professional help. Or perhaps i have misunderstood what you were trying to say?

Let me connect the dots for you. If you don't think there are white men who think it's demeaning to their wife to fuck a black man, then it's you, my friend, who needs professional help. It's not demeaning to me, white men (and some women) are the ones who label it as demeaning ("if you're known as a white girl that fucks or has fucked black men, no white man would want you!").

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

Let me connect the dots for you. If you don't think there are white men who think it's demeaning to their wife to fuck a black man, then it's you, my friend, who needs professional help. It's not demeaning to me, white men (and some women) are the ones who label it as demeaning ("if you're known as a white girl that fucks or has fucked black men, no white man would want you!").

I understand what you say, my friend. At the same time I strongly doubt that those men and women you are talking about are the same ones who share the female part of the couple with Black men as their lifestyle choice.

 

[Novarupta12]

It cannot be generalised. The human mind is sometimes so twisted and each case makes its own story

 

[SanDiegoBlack]

I understand what you say, my friend. At the same time I strongly doubt that those men and women you are talking about are the same ones who share the female part of the couple with Black men as their lifestyle choice.

I've given you a true and accurate example of how a wife who loved to fuck me had the fact that she had been fucked by a black man tossed out in front of unknowing family members as a way of demeaning her. Your reply is about what you think, not what you've experienced. So, you can continue to voice your "strong doubts" about what happens, and I'll continue to post what I've really experienced.

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

I've given you a true and accurate example of how a wife who loved to fuck me had the fact that she had been fucked by a black man tossed out in front of unknowing family members as a way of demeaning her. Your reply is about what you think, not what you've experienced. So, you can continue to voice your "strong doubts" about what happens, and I'll continue to post what I've really experienced.

If you're referring to the divorce situation you were talking about earlier, there are many things to consider. A divorce rarely is an act of enjoyment and people (re)act in strange ways when they experience deep hurting.
Also, taking one example of your personal experiences as a couse for generalizing is nothing but stereotyping. There are plenty of examples out there that are completely different in real life and that's not but my fantasy, my friend. i too have experiences.

 

[Valley Gurl]

You hit many of the points that are confusing squarely on the head! How do I know if they're into demeaning her, or even him (and as I'm writing this, the thought of 'even me' popped into my mind)? Am I there for the sensual skin contrast, the experience of a man watching his woman thoroughly let loose in a way he can never see when he's with her as his mind is on pleasuring her, but his mind is also on how good it feels to him. He may not see the fingers grasping the sheets, the eyes rolling and fluttering, and he may not hear the subtle groans as he's probably groaning himself! That's what I thought was happening, but it could be a totally different dynamic that's just between the two of them. Am I there for the sensuality? Am I there to demean her? Or, am I there, being demeaned (you let that black man touch and use you!).
This first popped into my mind when a couple, with whom I had been with numerous times over the years, decided to split. According to the wife, the husband, when explaining why they were splitting and how horrible she is, told the children, "your mom lets a N----- fuck her, and he's even fucked her in the ass!" This man, whom I has trusted and had fun times with him and his wife, portrayed me as some despicable, lowlife to his children, all because of the color of my skin (they had swung with white guys and women, but that wasn't mentioned). Perhaps the answer is "it's between the two of them, and I'll never really know what is actually taking place." Long answer, but it was also therapeutic!

You may never know what’s actually taking place between them, but that doesn’t mean that when entering into play with a couple that you aren’t entitled to a clearer understanding of why they chose you or that you aren’t deserving of respect. You can also make your limits known. Communication, as with everything, is vitally important. I’m really sorry that happened to you and to the wife you mentioned and to their children. His comments were despicable on every level.

 

[SanDiegoBlack]

You may never what’s actually taking place between them, but that doesn’t mean that when entering into play with a couple that you aren’t entitled to a clearer understanding of why they chose you or that you aren’t deserving of respect. You can also make your limits known. Communication, as with everything, is vitally important. I’m really sorry that happened to you and to the wife you mentioned and to their children. His comments were despicable on every level.

I appreciate your comment. You make a good point about never actually knowing the dynamic taking place between the two of them. That's what confused me. I guess I never thought about "what's really happening" and may not have even cared until she told me about his remark. I'm chalking it up as the exception, not the rule.

 

[funcouple52661]

That caged thing is for guys with no chick. You don’t get a horny slut of a woman by not having sex with her. Those lonely caged guys are taking pics of their caged dicks while watching interracial porn by themselves. Obviously some women get in on it but the cuck/stag husband is the real perv, not the wife. He’s either jacking off watching or fcuking her after eating your load out. And they have kinky ass sex all the time as a cpl. You are a human sex toy to enhance their primary relationship. I would assume most hotwife couples are just freaks and you can’t be really freaky with only two ppl. After a while all the kinkiest sex in the world feels vanilla and just adding another person for vanilla sex is so kinky and taboo but it’s really a cpl thing they are doing for them and you are just the lucky guy that gets the nsa sex and hopefully you think it’s kinky being watched by the guy who’s wife you are fucking. It’s hopefully win win win but you are there for you and they are there for them

Some of what you say is true but in our case my husband wears a cage when I tell him too.

 

[XLBlackMale87]

I thought I had cuckholding clear, but now I'm confused. Is there a difference between meeting a couple where the husband only wants to watch, and meeting a couple where the husband is being cucked? I've been with plenty of beautiful white women who will only let their husband sit, watch, then clean up afterwards. What is the difference, and do most of the black men know--or is it just between the wife/girlfriend and her husband/boyfriend?

Just liking to watch is called voyeurism.

Cucking involves liking being humiliated too.

 

[SanDiegoBlack]

Just liking to watch is called voyeurism.

Cucking involves liking being humiliated too.

I hear you, but when you say "it involves liking humiliation too," is that a dynamic that I would see or know when it's happening? In short, if I'm fucking the man's wife, is that humiliation, or does the wife have to do something overtly to humiliate/cuck her husband?