I will address it, but not the way you may be expecting.
I kind of have to go back a bit, I had been married previously, as had Bobbie. . My former wife and I had done a few threesomes, and at least two of the guys repeatedly. One was a friend BEFORE I met that wife, the other was more of an acquaintance. With Bobbie, we started out, by deciding to visit a local swinger club back around 2007 or so. . We had a few "encounters" but nothing to write home about. One night we were talking about fantasies (deep and dark) and she mentioned that she always wanted to be with a black guy. The idea apparently really excited her, and I had no problems with a few provisos. I had the right to say NO to anyone but she choose the guy(s) and we would ALWAYS meet them first with a clear pronouncement that there would be NO sex the first time we met.
We would have dinner and maybe a few drinks with the guy, and see if we hit it off, then she and I could and would go home, mull it over and talk about the person. . did she find them attractive, did she feel she could trust them, how did I feel about the guy? From my perspective any unknown guy that was going to screw my wife had to be someone we were both comfortable with.
That way, everyone had a chance to make the decision away from the other (I hate the word "Bull") But we never had to say yes or no in person and would do it by email or phone message. We also agreed that she would not ever meet with anyone alone. . and of course a code word if she wanted/needed to bail. (which we had to use twice over the years, One with the the first black man she was with. She was going to spend some time with him without me there, and he got possessive and she was not comfortable about that. . .I have already mentioned it in another missive before.)
Generally, on average we would meet with someone two or three times at most for sex. There was one that we carried on with for some time, and I will tell Richards story soon, but most of the guys, while decent, were just not really anyone either of us cared to hang around with casually, or get to know that well. . . and especially not when any family members or other friends were around. A degree of separation was pretty important, as face it,
you don't always know the person, or exactly what they want. (We did have a couple that were friends and into the same sort of "interest." They got involved with a guy they played with, who attempted to literally blackmail them. Luckily, it never got that far, but the fact that someone tried with someone we actually knew was enough to keep us on our toes so to speak.) The exception was this fellow named Richard. . he actually did become a friend. So with us, it was never a case that that a "bull" brought out the cuckold. . .it already existed way before we ever considered the idea, and honestly, while most of the guys were average to middling in the roll of lover or "bull", only a few were really good to the point that they consistently got Bobbie off.
It was also important that the guys understood, the dynamics of our relationship as it had to do with cuckoldry. We had to explain it a time or two, and there was one fellow that she meet at work that was with the crew resurfacing the parking lot. When she talked to him on her lunch, she had to explain it, AND call and speak with me to prove that she was telling the truth and that her husband actually got off on the idea of his wife being with another man. Once we had dinner, a few drinks and he got to dance with her he finally loosened up, and for her, was "good" but not "excellent." We only saw him three times as his job kept him moving around. Even though he had our number we never heard from him again.
The biggest problem is that when most guys encounter a couple with an interest in cuckoldry and invite someone to play, the reality is they just want to get their rocks off, and could not care less about anything else. That is why 95% of cuckold relationships of any sort actually work out. The extra guy never really conceptualizes that the husband (or cuckold) is as much of a part of the action as his sticking his dick in your wife. (
sorry to be so bold, but I think everyone knows this to be the truth.) To find someone who even seriously understands that he is,
in essence acting a part, and part of that part is to help you and your wife, get off TOO, evades a whole lot of men. It is a hell of a mindset that most men as noted, cannot even comprehend, much less pull off.
So, the simple answer is that we never really had a relationship where the situation you ask about COULD have ever happened. We had a relationship where I enjoyed watching her with other men way before we ever decided to open the relationship up any more.
