After Her first BBC

destinybebe33

destinybebe33

Couple
Real Person
Gold Member
From
TX, US
Husband here . So I have been trying to convince my wife to go black for some time now . Many discussions / arguments over the past few years . I stepped back and told her not to bother because it was causing too much stress . I told her I’d keep it just a fantasy . Shortly after that about a couple of months ago , she found a group that primarily swings interracially. We went to an event and found a very suitable big muscular black guy . Long story short , they had sex on video so I could watch later . It was thrilling and exciting for me and enhanced my attraction to her even more and made me cherish her even more , but it didn’t have the same affect on her . Bunch of bad things occurred in our regular life after the event and she constantly blames the event for it . Saying she’s being punished for doing something perverted and evil . She keeps bringing it up as the worst experience she’s ever had and she hated it !if I even hint about the lifestyle , we fight … I’m confused tho cuz , in the video she was moaning in pleasure and couldn’t take her eyes of his BBC . I mean she was literally staring at it going in and out of her With me she almost always keeps her eyes shut the whole time . She seemed into it , is what I’m saying , and I wanted her to experience more and have the most pleasure possible . I’ve tried to talk to her about it being her first experience and that it will get better with a different person maybe . Maybe the first guy was too big and bulky or not dark enough to get from on the skin contrast , maybe he smothered her and didn’t have as good chemistry or talked too much , but with someone else she could have better chemistry. Her rebuttals are consistently negative and hateful and pointing the finger at me for being abnormal for wanting this lifestyle . So I’m back to the beginning again where she doesn’t want it at all and I do …… what now ????!
 
Give her time to process things,and wait until the problems she is going through have passed. Her pussy will want more believe me,she just needs to be in the right frame of mind to let go and enjoy herself again. She is feeling guilty about enjoying herself. If you have *******,you know that the wife always puts the ******* in front of her own enjoyment and she is probably feeling guilty for enjoying herself when she believes that she should have been putting her family and marriage first. Perhaps even enjoying herself so much that she feels that she risked losing them. You need to reassure her that your marriage is sound and that it was just fun sex for both of you, and that it is alright to try something new and different once and awhile or marriage can be a life sentence!
 
Back off from talking about the experience. Tell her how much you love her and cherish her. Reassure her that your feeling for her have not changed. She is feeling guilty about the experience and my guess is she enjoyed it more than she thought she would and is confused about it and trying to process it. Keep loving her and let her have some space.

Did she enjoy herself at the event before she fucked the Black man? If so talk about that. Let her bring up the fucking with the Black man.
 
redhotarmywife said:
Back off from talking about the experience. Tell her how much you love her and cherish her. Reassure her that your feeling for her have not changed. She is feeling guilty about the experience and my guess is she enjoyed it more than she thought she would and is confused about it and trying to process it. Keep loving her and let her have some space.

Did she enjoy herself at the event before she fucked the Black man? If so talk about that. Let her bring up the fucking with the Black man.
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She enjoyed the event itself and seemed to enjoy the F session too . Great advice ! I’ll definitely back off and not mention it . Hopefully she’ll bring it up in a good way eventually .
 
If she does not want it why try to ******* the issue ?

I'm sure there are other things which you BOTH enjoy in bed (or life in general) which you can focus on. (May be try role-playing before you involve an actual third person in your sex life !)

What I could deduce from your comments was this - you want it, she does NOT. If she enjoyed a fling with your consent that does NOT mean she wants to LIVE the lifestyle !

I do hope both of you can have frank discussion where you talk to each other and not at each other.


Good luck.
 
destinybebe33 said:
Husband here . So I have been trying to convince my wife to go black for some time now . Many discussions / arguments over the past few years . I stepped back and told her not to bother because it was causing too much stress . I told her I’d keep it just a fantasy . Shortly after that about a couple of months ago , she found a group that primarily swings interracially. We went to an event and found a very suitable big muscular black guy . Long story short , they had sex on video so I could watch later . It was thrilling and exciting for me and enhanced my attraction to her even more and made me cherish her even more , but it didn’t have the same affect on her . Bunch of bad things occurred in our regular life after the event and she constantly blames the event for it . Saying she’s being punished for doing something perverted and evil . She keeps bringing it up as the worst experience she’s ever had and she hated it !if I even hint about the lifestyle , we fight … I’m confused tho cuz , in the video she was moaning in pleasure and couldn’t take her eyes of his BBC . I mean she was literally staring at it going in and out of her With me she almost always keeps her eyes shut the whole time . She seemed into it , is what I’m saying , and I wanted her to experience more and have the most pleasure possible . I’ve tried to talk to her about it being her first experience and that it will get better with a different person maybe . Maybe the first guy was too big and bulky or not dark enough to get from on the skin contrast , maybe he smothered her and didn’t have as good chemistry or talked too much , but with someone else she could have better chemistry. Her rebuttals are consistently negative and hateful and pointing the finger at me for being abnormal for wanting this lifestyle . So I’m back to the beginning again where she doesn’t want it at all and I do …… what now ????!
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You’re the real MVP! Right chemistry anything possible 😎
 
Wmwfdsm said:
I'd back off and just switch into "Super husband mode".
Let her see that this event didn't cause any problems or resentment from you and if anything, things are BETTER since it happened.

Our first meet three years ago was not great. The guy did zero foreplay and went straight to poundtown despite talking a good game beforehand.
I honestly thought my wife was going to say "This is not for me" afterwards and it was months before we tried again. The whole time I just said "Maybe it was just bad chemistry, maybe this isn't for us. We don't need to decide right now, we're in love and life is good."

I honestly felt bad for my wife, she had been anticipating it for a while. We had been discussing it for over a year and we were both really bummed it wasn't great. Giving my wife space to process it and see how our life was going let her decide she wanted to give it another try.

You have the advantage of your wife's first time being pretty damn good! She might have been a bit shocked at HOW MUCH she liked it and possibly a bit concerned for your feelings. So just be your awesome self and let her relax into your love knowing nothing can shake it.
If she feels like there is a solid foundation, then I bet her memories of the great fucking will drift back and she may want more!
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Best comment so far! Thanks I will do exactly that . Let her process everything and see where it goes . I do hope she enjoyed it honestly because the thought of her hating the experience makes me Literally ill 😷
 
My take is that she enjoyed it more than she expected and now she feels guilty. I agree with the comment above that you should go into super hisband mode. Don't bring it up again until she does. Tell her and show her how much you love her and how.much she means to you. The enjoyment she felt that night has caused her to feel guilty because she feels that she betrayed the sanctity of her marriage and risked her family. Show her that isn't the case and once she is comfortable and secure with your relationship she may then allow herself to consider trying it again.
 
Mypete said:
Give her time to process things,and wait until the problems she is going through have passed. Her pussy will want more believe me,she just needs to be in the right frame of mind to let go and enjoy herself again. She is feeling guilty about enjoying herself. If you have *******,you know that the wife always puts the ******* in front of her own enjoyment and she is probably feeling guilty for enjoying herself when she believes that she should have been putting her family and marriage first. Perhaps even enjoying herself so much that she feels that she risked losing them. You need to reassure her that your marriage is sound and that it was just fun sex for both of you, and that it is alright to try something new and different once and awhile or marriage can be a life sentence!
Click to expand...
Maybe she's feeling guilt. This lifestyle goes against most of what most people were taught in our Judeo-Christian society, especially for women. But according to the video, she was enjoying the experience. I would agree, don't give up after one experience.
 
Black adonis said:
Maybe she's feeling guilt. This lifestyle goes against most of what most people were taught in our Judeo-Christian society, especially for women. But according to the video, she was enjoying the experience. I would agree, don't give up after one experience.
Click to expand...
She’s actually coming back around . I’ve totally left her alone and not pushed the issue at all and the other night she mentioned her first BBC experience . We were in bed and out of nowhere she said.” We really did get the best black guy at the event didn’t we ?” I got so excited but didn’t show it . I said ,” hell yes ! He was tall 6ft 5in and at least 250lbs would muscular and had the shaved head !” She said .” Yeah we couldn’t have done much better “ I agreed and said “imagine what you could get if you ever decided to do it again?” She said .” I never meant I wouldn’t ever do it again !” I asked” so you would be willing to do it again?” She said ,”Yes!” Holy ******* !!! So it’s back on the table and I don’t want to fuck it up buy getting over excited and pushy . So, what do I do now ??
 
destinybebe33 said:
She’s actually coming back around . I’ve totally left her alone and not pushed the issue at all and the other night she mentioned her first BBC experience . We were in bed and out of nowhere she said.” We really did get the best black guy at the event didn’t we ?” I got so excited but didn’t show it . I said ,” hell yes ! He was tall 6ft 5in and at least 250lbs would muscular and had the shaved head !” She said .” Yeah we couldn’t have done much better “ I agreed and said “imagine what you could get if you ever decided to do it again?” She said .” I never meant I wouldn’t ever do it again !” I asked” so you would be willing to do it again?” She said ,”Yes!” Holy ******* !!! So it’s back on the table and I don’t want to fuck it up buy getting over excited and pushy . So, what do I do now ??
Click to expand...
Be supportive and let her drive the bus.
 
Now that I think about it, it was several months after our first experience (which took place at a sex party), before my wife was ready to try again in earnest. And we too felt we were lucky that the guy at the party had been a fit, hung black man that could steer things so she'd enjoy it, but it didn't seem like a lifestyle change at all until she decided several months later that she wanted to meet someone. So I set up a meet up in a local bar with a guy who'd been chatting and wanting to meet her, who looked very much the part from his profile pics and came with lots of validations. The first meeting went well, she decided she wanted to meet him privately for a playdate, and the rest is history. Having a local bull she could meet with one on one with some regularity was a total game changer.

That's been our pattern ever since. I introduce her to men who seem to understand our dynamic who I think she might find attractive, she narrows it down to ones she wants to meet, we (or they, if I can't be there) have a public meet up to see if there's chemistry, and I enjoy seeing her get what she wants. I participate when I can, and otherwise I support and make sure she's happy and safe. We went from that one first experience that she processed for several months, to her having several encounters per month, usually with one or two regulars at a time, and the occasional lifestyle party or happy hour date to meet others. I definitely told her early on that I thought the idea was hot and would love to see her take on a lover, but I'm very much of the opinion that it wouldn't have evolved the way it has if I'd tried to push things. She's been in control every step of the way, and my role is just to support, help her find what she wants, and be along for the incredibly sexy ride. I don't think it works sustainably any other way.
 
JemmaNye&Herbi said:
Now that I think about it, it was several months after our first experience (which took place at a sex party), before my wife was ready to try again in earnest. And we too felt we were lucky that the guy at the party had been a fit, hung black man that could steer things so she'd enjoy it, but it didn't seem like a lifestyle change at all until she decided several months later that she wanted to meet someone. So I set up a meet up in a local bar with a guy who'd been chatting and wanting to meet her, who looked very much the part from his profile pics and came with lots of validations. The first meeting went well, she decided she wanted to meet him privately for a playdate, and the rest is history. Having a local bull she could meet with one on one with some regularity was a total game changer.

That's been our pattern ever since. I introduce her to men who seem to understand our dynamic who I think she might find attractive, she narrows it down to ones she wants to meet, we (or they, if I can't be there) have a public meet up to see if there's chemistry, and I enjoy seeing her get what she wants. I participate when I can, and otherwise I support and make sure she's happy and safe. We went from that one first experience that she processed for several months, to her having several encounters per month, usually with one or two regulars at a time, and the occasional lifestyle party or happy hour date to meet others. I definitely told her early on that I thought the idea was hot and would love to see her take on a lover, but I'm very much of the opinion that it wouldn't have evolved the way it has if I'd tried to push things. She's been in control every step of the way, and my role is just to support, help her find what she wants, and be along for the incredibly sexy ride. I don't think it works sustainably any other way.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the advice . I’m hoping she comes around fully like your wife . She’s definitely inching back . The other day we we came in from being out and she was horny . She told me to hurry up and come fuck her or she’s gonna find a black guy that will. Of coarse this turned me on but I didn’t know what to say other than .”okay let’s go find him” lol . I laughed and she said she’d go get him without me . Hmmm 🤔 this I wouldn’t be into . Your wife seems to go without you and sometimes includes you which is cool for y’all’s relationship but for me I wouldn’t be okay with that . We agreed upfront that we would always be together in any and all experiences, but I see she’s kinda wanting bbc with me not around . How do you make that work ??? I’d like her to be into it more and want more experiences! Is this the only way ?? Giving her some alone time on her own with black guys ?
 
destinybebe33 said:
She’s actually coming back around . I’ve totally left her alone and not pushed the issue at all and the other night she mentioned her first BBC experience . We were in bed and out of nowhere she said.” We really did get the best black guy at the event didn’t we ?” I got so excited but didn’t show it . I said ,” hell yes ! He was tall 6ft 5in and at least 250lbs would muscular and had the shaved head !” She said .” Yeah we couldn’t have done much better “ I agreed and said “imagine what you could get if you ever decided to do it again?” She said .” I never meant I wouldn’t ever do it again !” I asked” so you would be willing to do it again?” She said ,”Yes!” Holy ******* !!! So it’s back on the table and I don’t want to fuck it up buy getting over excited and pushy . So, what do I do now ??
Click to expand...
I told you that she would cum back around. Her pussy won't let her forget about how much she enjoyed her encounter with the black gentleman. She will want more. Her mind was overwhelmed by what her body experienced. She needed time to take in the whole event and process it. The best thing you can do is be patient and let her take the reigns. It can be very hard to do,because it is so exciting when it happens, but you need to continue to let her bring it up, and be supportive, let her know that it didn't hurt your marriage it improved it. Slow methodical nudging when she brings it up, let her think that the next time she decides to indulge in BBC it was her idea,not yours.
 
Mypete said:
I told you that she would cum back around. Her pussy won't let her forget about how much she enjoyed her encounter with the black gentleman. She will want more. Her mind was overwhelmed by what her body experienced. She needed time to take in the whole event and process it. The best thing you can do is be patient and let her take the reigns. It can be very hard to do,because it is so exciting when it happens, but you need to continue to let her bring it up, and be supportive, let her know that it didn't hurt your marriage it improved it. Slow methodical nudging when she brings it up, let her think that the next time she decides to indulge in BBC it was her idea,not yours.
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Oh yes ! I’m making sure that she comes to me like last time , she came to me with the event that brought her first BBC experience. She’s been showing signs especially lately for some reason . Today I jokingly mentioned us going to Jamaica , and she’s well aware of my fantasy of her in Jamaica getting as much bbc as possible . I didn’t expect her to react cuz I was just kidding . She said Not now cuz the ******* are still in the house but once they move out completely , which will be in the next few years , once they are on their own we will be going to Jamaica !! Fuck yeah is all I thought !! Didn’t want to harp too much but right there is her thinking of BBC right ? ! So it’s nothing but good signs lately !
 
redhotarmywife said:
Back off from talking about the experience. Tell her how much you love her and cherish her. Reassure her that your feeling for her have not changed. She is feeling guilty about the experience and my guess is she enjoyed it more than she thought she would and is confused about it and trying to process it. Keep loving her and let her have some space.

Did she enjoy herself at the event before she fucked the Black man? If so talk about that. Let her bring up the fucking with the Black man.
Click to expand...
A VERY wise recommendation! Don't forget that she is you partner in life; leave NO doubt in her mind that you love and cherish her. Tread lightly.
 
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