Wannabe cuck new to forum

[jmikered]

Hello everyone I’m a married white guy to a sexy blonde pawg. I secretly masturbate to only bbc cuckold videos and only try to find videos of girls that look similar to my wife. I really want to open up to my wife about it and have discreetly thrown out signs that I want her to be with other men(though never a bbc even tho I really want her to only be for bbc). Depending on her mood she usually gets upset with me but sometimes will play along. How did u guys get over the hump? A few yrs ago we had a big dildo although it was white it was big and she seemed to enjoy it whenever I could get her to get into it and would even name it and tell me it was big and better than me(I blew my load so hard whenever she would do that). Would like to purchase a bbc dildo to maybe get her going again? Any recommendations? We like suction cups and the balls to get a full effect so I can be “hands off” while she enjoys it. Thanks really looking forward to hearing from everyone.