New to the lifestyle - cold feet or normal?

[wifeyandhusby]

So we are very new to the lifestyle - I've kind of lead her to the lifestyle and wanted to see her with other men, we finally had our first encounter and it was great. I can't wait for more.

Is it normal for it to be such a roller coaster? By that I mean I can tell she wants to continue doing it, but is holding back. One minute we will be talking about it and how flirty she is with other men and then she talks about how she isn't sure about all of this. We are very good at communicating and talking about how I don't want it to be something we do if she is not interested. I know from our talks she is just trying to wrap her brain around it, but I also see she is enjoying talking with other men and having this attention.
We've gone as far as talking about sending her 1x1 with someone she is comfortable with as well as what I would do if she wanted to go on vacation with her bull. But then last night she said she feels like she is leaving me behind and isn't sure about all of that.
I try to make it as clear as possible that these things excite me. My one stipulation is that I want some kind of involvement as in video or photos so I can get myself going too.

I want to be very clear, I do not ******* her to do anything she does not want to. I've told her if she is not into it then I'm not either. It is about her being comfortable and her leading the way on if we meet anyone, she chooses who she meets and talks to. I 100% back her being in charge and having full control and if she is not comfortable to pull the plug.

I think a lot of it is her religious upbringing, but is it normal to be one foot in and one foot out? She debated whether or not she just needs to jump in feet first or not.

Any experience couples with any advice?

 

[Justa_Blackman]

Contact me @Justa_Blackman

 

[Jo Roman]

Having cold feet can be a sign of a warm heart and good values. It’s “normal” to have doubts as well as desires.

Don’t look at it as a bad thing; view it as a wise way to explore safe, clean, healthy fun and pleasure. Good judgment can lead to good sex.

Enjoy the journey and feel good about having intimate guardrails.

 

[robbiewillsuck]

yes normal to be very hot and horny then wanting to stop. Exciting that you got her to fuck a cock so yes she will want more and more cocks - you have to assure that you love and want her to fuck any cock she wants.

 

[wifeyandhusby]

yes normal to be very hot and horny then wanting to stop. Exciting that you got her to fuck a cock so yes she will want more and more cocks - you have to assure that you love and want her to fuck any cock she wants.

Oh I do, anytime there is doubt I remind her that it is exciting for me and that I want to see her feel good. I also want her to be comfortable as well.

 

[wifeyandhusby]

Having cold feet can be a sign of a warm heart and good values. It’s “normal” to have doubts as well as desires.

Don’t look at it as a bad thing; view it as a wise way to explore safe, clean, healthy fun and pleasure. Good judgment can lead to good sex.

Enjoy the journey and feel good about having intimate guardrails.

She really does have a warm heart. I love her and that is why I want to see her get the most pleasure as possible. I'll have to keep the post updated if we do continue to branch out.

 

[peaches_]

I can only speak from my personal perspective. I was VERY hesitant. As exciting as the idea was, it wasn’t worth losing my marriage. People THINK they know what they want and then sometimes they change their minds, get their feelings hurt, get angry, get outed to their friends, families, and coworkers. There are some things you can’t “take back” - this is definitely one of those things. If things work out as intended, GREAT! Your marriage is stronger and better than ever. If something goes sideways, we all HOPE our marriages survive.

 

[robbiewillsuck]

I can only speak from my personal perspective. I was VERY hesitant. As exciting as the idea was, it wasn’t worth losing my marriage. People THINK they know what they want and then sometimes they change their minds, get their feelings hurt, get angry, get outed to their friends, families, and coworkers. There are some things you can’t “take back” - this is definitely one of those things. If things work out as intended, GREAT! Your marriage is stronger and better than ever. If something goes sideways, we all HOPE our marriages survive.

you have the tits and pussy - you set the rules - you can make your hubby feel loved and assure him that you will not leave him no matter how many cocks you fuck.

 

[peaches_]

While it’s true that I “have the tits and pussy”, our dynamic was very vanilla - I had NEVER “set the rules” and tended to be submissive in our marital relationship. No one can change the way they are “wired” overnight. It took some time (and effort) for me to understand, accept, & appreciate this LS.

From the beginning, cucky was patient, kind, understanding, reassuring, and allowed me to be in control and go at my own pace. Within a few months I was confident enough that I was “ready to take the plunge”. 6 months later, we are both very happy with our decision. My advice is to continue being supportive and consistent! I wanted to share my experience with @wifeyandhusby to offer encouragement. Best of luck to you both!!

 

[FortBendTXBull]

So we are very new to the lifestyle - I've kind of lead her to the lifestyle and wanted to see her with other men, we finally had our first encounter and it was great. I can't wait for more.

Is it normal for it to be such a roller coaster? By that I mean I can tell she wants to continue doing it, but is holding back. One minute we will be talking about it and how flirty she is with other men and then she talks about how she isn't sure about all of this. We are very good at communicating and talking about how I don't want it to be something we do if she is not interested. I know from our talks she is just trying to wrap her brain around it, but I also see she is enjoying talking with other men and having this attention.
We've gone as far as talking about sending her 1x1 with someone she is comfortable with as well as what I would do if she wanted to go on vacation with her bull. But then last night she said she feels like she is leaving me behind and isn't sure about all of that.
I try to make it as clear as possible that these things excite me. My one stipulation is that I want some kind of involvement as in video or photos so I can get myself going too.

I want to be very clear, I do not ******* her to do anything she does not want to. I've told her if she is not into it then I'm not either. It is about her being comfortable and her leading the way on if we meet anyone, she chooses who she meets and talks to. I 100% back her being in charge and having full control and if she is not comfortable to pull the plug.

I think a lot of it is her religious upbringing, but is it normal to be one foot in and one foot out? She debated whether or not she just needs to jump in feet first or not.

Any experience couples with any advice?

Gotta find her the right bull for her. Personality wise.

 

[Staghubby40]

Your first experience will set the tone. Luckily our first experience was amazing. We got lucky and the wife found a guy that was everything that we had talked about in our fantasies. He was a complete gentleman at dinner and while we were out and then a complete ******* when they got in the bedroom. She spent the next three or four months seeing him about three times a month exclusively. And then she really started branching out. Now for her getting BBC is just second nature.

 

[karen4smith111]

nervous at first

 

[larry winn]

I can only speak from my personal perspective. I was VERY hesitant. As exciting as the idea was, it wasn’t worth losing my marriage. People THINK they know what they want and then sometimes they change their minds, get their feelings hurt, get angry, get outed to their friends, families, and coworkers. There are some things you can’t “take back” - this is definitely one of those things. If things work out as intended, GREAT! Your marriage is stronger and better than ever. If something goes sideways, we all HOPE our marriages survive.

Thank's for your comment's . Sounds like good common advice to think about . I truly believe that's where my wife's head is at . worrying about our marriage , someone finding out and the stigma of the prospect of really enjoying BBC .