Hi everyone. New to this site but not to the lifestyle. My wife and I were introduced to the lifestyle purely by accident. We were invited over to an acquaintance's home for a dinner. The home had a basement, along with a recreation room, equipped with pool table, large screen tv. We were invited downstairs and to our shock the owner had been playing interracial movies. Not wanting to be standoffish, we stayed and watched. I know my wife was not particularly comfortable with the idea of spending our evening watching porn. Any how, we managed to sit through the entertainment.
After arriving home, we talked about what we had just witnessed and my wife pretty much shoved it off as entertainment without any reality.
I though about this for about a week. I brought the subject up again and decide to create a game of sorts. I developed twenty-five open-ended questions. Such as are you attracted to a man of color. If so, what qualities are you attracted to: personality, physique, stance, confidence, arrogance, etc.
Once we each completed the questionnaire, we exchanged it and read about what the other party wrote. It was really interesting to learn so much about my wife that I was unaware of.
She was born in Connecticut, a middle class, mostly white suburb near New haven. She had no real experiences with people of color. , on the other hand was born and raised in Oakland, CA. Although the neighborhood I was raised in was all white, I was integrated with people of color all of the time, in my youth through sports, and other school activities. I enjoyed the diverse cultures and learning about other person's attitudes and beliefs.
My wife was pretty much the classical PTA wife, "That Girl" if you ever heard of the sitcom. She was also shy, but not always reserved.
Back to the questionnaire. My wife's candid answers really woke me up as to what might be possible as I was truly interested in bringing another man into our life. My wife indicated that she was "curious" about a man of color; She was not sure whether the myths about a man of color were true; larger size, stamina, and technique., In all instances she gave me the indication that she was open minded about the idea of another man.
So, after months of discussion, watching an interracial movie or two, we mutually decided that :seeing" where bringing another man into the relationship might lead. I went about creating a post on a famous hook-up site; everything was authentic with pics etc. I just was the one who responded to any man that showed an interest. My responsibility would be to be the chaperone so that my wife would never be alone until such time that she was comfortable with the man.
The post indicated that there was a married women whose was looking for a man of color for an FWB; whose husband had heart issues and was really not interested in intimacy any longer. The post indicated that my wife could not entertain, but wanted to find someone to host and be able to meet mid day on a regular basis. The pics of my wife brought over thirty responses.
We established the guidelines; meet in a public place, not going to anyone's place, at first, must be patient, etc.
We reduced the number of possible men to 6. We went and met all of them. All were surprised to learn that I was involved. Two of the men actually thought that the idea was great.
My wife's criteria for choosing was 1) personality (must not be boastful or arrogant; looking for a respectful guy, confident), 2) physique; She liked the athletic type, not too skinny, not too big) 3) Must be gainfully employed, have his own place, etc.
Believe it or not we were successful. The guy we choose was a manager for a larger firm. He did some travelling, but also had odd hours so he could host during the day. He had his own place. In any event, he went slow at first until he sensed that my wife was relaxed and ok with being with him. I tried to stay out of the way and just near enough for me to enjoy the entertainment. Eventually, I did not tag along and invited my wife to go visit her friend without me. Funny I asked our man if my wife behaved differently around him when I was not present. He told me in fact that she seemed to be more relaxed and free of any responsibilities. He seemed to think that my wife's orgasms were more plentiful and were much more pronounced.
I think for any couple to succeed with getting into the lifestyle: !) Make sure you are both on the same page; 2) Know your limits; for the guy make sure you are ok with another guy taking full advantage of your wife. Come to recognize that your feelings could get hurt if you are sensitive to the fact that your wife is enjoying someone other than you.
Remember you do not own your wife or her emotions.
My interest was only to increase my wife's sexual pleasure and also take care of my fantasies.
is performing to move in the direction of nIinter
