Need advise : do I relax our rules to let my female partner fuck BBC more freely

[Rajnikki]

We love each other for last 10 years . We have following rules developed over time
- she can fuck BBC only when I am around
- she doesn’t fuck the same bbc 2nd time to avoid building emotional connect
- she doesn’t kiss them, she allows them to kiss her body but not on lips and pussy
- she has fucked bbc with full penetration inside around say 4-5 times in last 3 years .
Questions
1. We both are very excited with the idea of bbc fucking her but get nervous also that whether it will spoil our love and sex !
2 . what can we do to enjoy BBC Sex but not hurt our relationship and love
3 . When should we relax our rules and which one .

 

[ridinmydonkey]

Sounds like some of your rules are rooted in insecurity and fear about losing a partner. Are they more your rules, or hers? I'd be willing to bet they're more your rules and she's agreeing because she wants you to be happy and comfortable as well. Each of you should take some personal time to reflect on the rules, and the come together and have an open and honest conversation.

 

[MrsBumpNGrind]

We love each other for last 10 years . We have following rules developed over time
- she can fuck BBC only when I am around
- she doesn’t fuck the same bbc 2nd time to avoid building emotional connect
- she doesn’t kiss them, she allows them to kiss her body but not on lips and pussy
- she has fucked bbc with full penetration inside around say 4-5 times in last 3 years .
Questions
1. We both are very excited with the idea of bbc fucking her but get nervous also that whether it will spoil our love and sex !
2 . what can we do to enjoy BBC Sex but not hurt our relationship and love
3 . When should we relax our rules and which one .

Those are some pretty strict rules. # not more than twice? Why not....******* its hard finding good guys that fuck you the way you want or need.
#3 No kissing.....for me...no kissing means no pussy.....fuck that. I love to kiss.
I would say relax #2 & #3 before she goes and plays more on her own. My hubby and I do this as a couple. He loves to watch and video my adventures. He wants the guys to rock my world....he says "I don't share you with other guys to have average or below average sex"

If you two are in love you should have to worry about her catching feelings

 

[Naughtygators]

We love each other for last 10 years . We have following rules developed over time
- she can fuck BBC only when I am around
- she doesn’t fuck the same bbc 2nd time to avoid building emotional connect
- she doesn’t kiss them, she allows them to kiss her body but not on lips and pussy
- she has fucked bbc with full penetration inside around say 4-5 times in last 3 years .
Questions
1. We both are very excited with the idea of bbc fucking her but get nervous also that whether it will spoil our love and sex !
2 . what can we do to enjoy BBC Sex but not hurt our relationship and love
3 . When should we relax our rules and which one .

All your rules are pretty tough ones and make it less than amazing for her. While sex is hot, when you negate any intimacy, it’s not nearly as good. I can’t speak for your rules, but I agree w the above comment that they are generally born out of fear. You must trust each other and in your relationship. Sex is just sex. We prefer friends w benefits.
1. Solo play is pretty advanced and it’s safer to start w 3somes. My wife plays solo (w only one trusted bull so far), but only after we’ve had 3some fun.
2. As already said, finding a new guy so often is hard. We’ve enjoyed a few bulls for years. The benefit is the bull learns what she enjoys and the sex is so much better and pleasurable.
3. Kissing is certainly an intimate act, but it plays a big part in sex and pleasure. Why not ban missionary too if intimacy is the issue? (Just making a point).

What if you had a bull or two that was an actual friend that you trusted? All chats would be between all. All dates would be together, but otherwise, the other rules are gone? You might find it becomes even better. Good luck either way. It’s whatever you two want, and not what is internet folks say.

 

[TessaWicked]

We love each other for last 10 years . We have following rules developed over time
- she can fuck BBC only when I am around
- she doesn’t fuck the same bbc 2nd time to avoid building emotional connect
- she doesn’t kiss them, she allows them to kiss her body but not on lips and pussy
- she has fucked bbc with full penetration inside around say 4-5 times in last 3 years .
Questions
1. We both are very excited with the idea of bbc fucking her but get nervous also that whether it will spoil our love and sex !
2 . what can we do to enjoy BBC Sex but not hurt our relationship and love
3 . When should we relax our rules and which one .

Rule 1: sounds good to me nothing is done behind your back etc.
Rule 2: I can see that side of it personal preference thing.
Rule 3: Personal preference thing well known rule in swinger community.

My advice for you is don't be asking or taking advice from strangers on the internet because they won't give you good advice most of the time and can't speak on or know what state your relationship is in. She should follow your Rules and you should follow hers.

Lastly you and your wife should have many talks about it and only agree to do what you both are comfortable with. And no your rules are not about insecurities or strict imho as some here say they are very good rules because what's more important to you and your wife her fucking another man or having a lasting loving marriage. Only do what you both are comfortable with not just one of you, if you both don't agree on something don't do it, if the other person does it anyway then they aren't worth being with and move on and find someone better. I am speaking from being in a happy marriage for 27 yrs and counting. Sex is sex and it's not the most important thing in life being with someone that loves you and makes you feel safe and not hurt you is the most important thing. If having multiple sex partners is the most important thing to someone they shouldn't get married imho.

 

[Rajnikki]

Rule 1: sounds good to me nothing is done behind your back etc.
Rule 2: I can see that side of it personal preference thing.
Rule 3: Personal preference thing well known rule in swinger community.

My advice for you is don't be asking or taking advice from strangers on the internet because they won't give you good advice most of the time and can't speak on or know what state your relationship is in. She should follow your Rules and you should follow hers.

Lastly you and your wife should have many talks about it and only agree to do what you both are comfortable with. And no your rules are not about insecurities or strict imho as some here say they are very good rules because what's more important to you and your wife her fucking another man or having a lasting loving marriage. Only do what you both are comfortable with not just one of you, if you both don't agree on something don't do it, if the other person does it anyway then they aren't worth being with and move on and find someone better. I am speaking from being in a happy marriage for 27 yrs and counting. Sex is sex and it's not the most important thing in life being with someone that loves you and makes you feel safe and not hurt you is the most important thing. If having multiple sex partners is the most important thing to someone they shouldn't get married imho.

Thanks a lot for the advise

 

[Stefanie]

We love each other for last 10 years . We have following rules developed over time
- she can fuck BBC only when I am around
- she doesn’t fuck the same bbc 2nd time to avoid building emotional connect
- she doesn’t kiss them, she allows them to kiss her body but not on lips and pussy
- she has fucked bbc with full penetration inside around say 4-5 times in last 3 years .
Questions
1. We both are very excited with the idea of bbc fucking her but get nervous also that whether it will spoil our love and sex !
2 . what can we do to enjoy BBC Sex but not hurt our relationship and love
3 . When should we relax our rules and which one .

Honestly, if my bf had these rules, I wouldn't like them.
I understand the part of him being around. But not a second time? Why not? Don't you have to have emotional connections for good sex? I do! Also, kissing is part of it.

 

[Maskyndux2357]

We love each other for last 10 years . We have following rules developed over time
- she can fuck BBC only when I am around
- she doesn’t fuck the same bbc 2nd time to avoid building emotional connect
- she doesn’t kiss them, she allows them to kiss her body but not on lips and pussy
- she has fucked bbc with full penetration inside around say 4-5 times in last 3 years .
Questions
1. We both are very excited with the idea of bbc fucking her but get nervous also that whether it will spoil our love and sex !
2 . what can we do to enjoy BBC Sex but not hurt our relationship and love
3 . When should we relax our rules and which one .

Pretty well echo everything Tessa said. When you ask random internet strangers advice....you get THEIR opinions and way of doing things. Like the old saying....different strokes for different folks. The rules you two have are YOURS and yours alone. Keep discussing it and maybe viewpoints will change. Maybe not. Just don't let anyone else tell you any rules that you, as a couple have set, are stupid.

 

[James Moody]

Those are some pretty strict rules. # not more than twice? Why not....******* its hard finding good guys that fuck you the way you want or need.
#3 No kissing.....for me...no kissing means no pussy.....fuck that. I love to kiss.
I would say relax #2 & #3 before she goes and plays more on her own. My hubby and I do this as a couple. He loves to watch and video my adventures. He wants the guys to rock my world....he says "I don't share you with other guys to have average or below average sex"

If you two are in love you should have to worry about her catching feelings

Hubby says: "I don't share you with other guys to have average or below average sex"

I dub your husband The Very Reverend Bumpngrind, pastor of the Cum Unto Thee church. Let the choir sing and pass the plate!!

 

[James Moody]

We love each other for last 10 years . We have following rules developed over time
- she can fuck BBC only when I am around
- she doesn’t fuck the same bbc 2nd time to avoid building emotional connect
- she doesn’t kiss them, she allows them to kiss her body but not on lips and pussy
- she has fucked bbc with full penetration inside around say 4-5 times in last 3 years .
Questions
1. We both are very excited with the idea of bbc fucking her but get nervous also that whether it will spoil our love and sex !
2 . what can we do to enjoy BBC Sex but not hurt our relationship and love
3 . When should we relax our rules and which one .

From the Guy With The Big Dick's perspective:

• So long as I - or any "bull" plays in the cuck world, his being around is an avocational hazard: You wanna get to fuck, you gotta allow the cuck. 'Nuff said
• Can't kiss on the lips? Can't kiss the pussy???!!!? Well, for me, no worries pal - I won't want to come back a second time!!! Damn!

I agree with the sentiment expressed that methinks fear of losing the wife is hidden not too far below the surface here. Fear is a helluva strong and dangerous behavior modifier. I'd explore that within yourself - and with your wife - very carefully and honestly.

(...and if you modify that 'don't kiss the pussy' rule, hit me up! I'll happily show her how having her pussy eaten along with some good bbc lovin' is like a junkie getting a new *******!! )

 

[Rajnikki]

Rule 1: sounds good to me nothing is done behind your back etc.
Rule 2: I can see that side of it personal preference thing.
Rule 3: Personal preference thing well known rule in swinger community.

My advice for you is don't be asking or taking advice from strangers on the internet because they won't give you good advice most of the time and can't speak on or know what state your relationship is in. She should follow your Rules and you should follow hers.

Lastly you and your wife should have many talks about it and only agree to do what you both are comfortable with. And no your rules are not about insecurities or strict imho as some here say they are very good rules because what's more important to you and your wife her fucking another man or having a lasting loving marriage. Only do what you both are comfortable with not just one of you, if you both don't agree on something don't do it, if the other person does it anyway then they aren't worth being with and move on and find someone better. I am speaking from being in a happy marriage for 27 yrs and counting. Sex is sex and it's not the most important thing in life being with someone that loves you and makes you feel safe and not hurt you is the most important thing. If having multiple sex partners is the most important thing to someone they shouldn't get married imho.

Thanks a lot for the advis

Pretty well echo everything Tessa said. When you ask random internet strangers advice....you get THEIR opinions and way of doing things. Like the old saying....different strokes for different folks. The rules you two have are YOURS and yours alone. Keep discussing it and maybe viewpoints will change. Maybe not. Just don't let anyone else tell you any rules that you, as a couple have set, are stupid.

thank you very much . It makes sense

 

[Rajnikki]

Rule 1: sounds good to me nothing is done behind your back etc.
Rule 2: I can see that side of it personal preference thing.
Rule 3: Personal preference thing well known rule in swinger community.

My advice for you is don't be asking or taking advice from strangers on the internet because they won't give you good advice most of the time and can't speak on or know what state your relationship is in. She should follow your Rules and you should follow hers.

Lastly you and your wife should have many talks about it and only agree to do what you both are comfortable with. And no your rules are not about insecurities or strict imho as some here say they are very good rules because what's more important to you and your wife her fucking another man or having a lasting loving marriage. Only do what you both are comfortable with not just one of you, if you both don't agree on something don't do it, if the other person does it anyway then they aren't worth being with and move on and find someone better. I am speaking from being in a happy marriage for 27 yrs and counting. Sex is sex and it's not the most important thing in life being with someone that loves you and makes you feel safe and not hurt you is the most important thing. If having multiple sex partners is the most important thing to someone they shouldn't get married imho.

Appreciate your advise . Thanks

 

[MrsBumpNGrind]

Hubby says: "I don't share you with other guys to have average or below average sex"

I dub your husband The Very Reverend Bumpngrind, pastor of the Cum Unto Thee church. Let the choir sing and pass the plate!!

Thats funny ....but come on!!! If you are going to share be confident that your partner is satisfied in every other way. Hubby also tells them "if you want to keep her you have too take the crazy and maintenence as well".....they just want the good pussy....they don't mind letting hubby keep the rest.. lol

 

[MrsBumpNGrind]

Rule 1: sounds good to me nothing is done behind your back etc.
Rule 2: I can see that side of it personal preference thing.
Rule 3: Personal preference thing well known rule in swinger community.

My advice for you is don't be asking or taking advice from strangers on the internet because they won't give you good advice most of the time and can't speak on or know what state your relationship is in. She should follow your Rules and you should follow hers.

Lastly you and your wife should have many talks about it and only agree to do what you both are comfortable with. And no your rules are not about insecurities or strict imho as some here say they are very good rules because what's more important to you and your wife her fucking another man or having a lasting loving marriage. Only do what you both are comfortable with not just one of you, if you both don't agree on something don't do it, if the other person does it anyway then they aren't worth being with and move on and find someone better. I am speaking from being in a happy marriage for 27 yrs and counting. Sex is sex and it's not the most important thing in life being with someone that loves you and makes you feel safe and not hurt you is the most important thing. If having multiple sex partners is the most important thing to someone they shouldn't get married imho.

We have been happily married for 32 years so coming from experience of 25 years in the lifestyle.
I have to ask "don't be asking or taking advice from strangers on the internet because they won't give you good advice" where would you suggest them get advice? Should they go ask family, friends, pastor? Being a new swinger isn't easy and they have to ask others that have experience like us. Everyone does have different rules and experiences, like you said "
Rule 3: Personal preference thing well known rule in swinger community" well known where? Very few swingers in our experience have this rule and we live in the Midwest.
Obviously the original poster is wanting to expand the experience for his wife and is asking for what experienced swingers/hotwife couples think that have went through this.

I do agree that they need to have great communication to keep the most important thing strong.....their relationship

 

[TessaWicked]

We have been happily married for 32 years so coming from experience of 25 years in the lifestyle.
I have to ask "don't be asking or taking advice from strangers on the internet because they won't give you good advice" where would you suggest them get advice? Should they go ask family, friends, pastor? Being a new swinger isn't easy and they have to ask others that have experience like us. Everyone does have different rules and experiences, like you said "
Rule 3: Personal preference thing well known rule in swinger community" well known where? Very few swingers in our experience have this rule and we live in the Midwest.
Obviously the original poster is wanting to expand the experience for his wife and is asking for what experienced swingers/hotwife couples think that have went through this.

I do agree that they need to have great communication to keep the most important thing strong.....their relationship

They go to friends in they have in the community since apparently they have been in the lifestyle with their current rules.

The no kissing things is well known that doesn't mean it's practiced by a majority or a small group. It just means it's well known I've have known couples with this rule and seen it on very popular swinging dating sites for years for couples. Some say kissing is not ok some say some kissing is ok and others say no french/tongue kissing as that's something the couple keeps for themselves,it's no different really than condom rules and creampie rules. We are in the south and have seen these rules on many of peoples profiles over the years on swinging sites. Again not saying it's a minority or a majority just that's it's well known.

I did not take his original post as to them wanting to expand their experience as a couple it came across to me as something she wants and he might not be 100% on board with it and he doesn't want to admit to it on here out of fear of being ridiculed.

All I was saying is don't ask people on the internet for advice because it never works out well EVER!!!! It is something they have to discuss and come to a conclusion on their own. Too many people these days want advice from complete strangers these days who don't give a damn about them all they want is their next dick or pussy and I'll say again each person needs to decide for themselves what's more important having a happy fruitful marriage or the next piece of strange. If you are just doing something or relaxing what makes you feel safe because you feel like you are pressured into it or to try to hold on to someone, all it will do is breed resentment and jealousy in the long run imho.

But what works for you won't work for someone else and what works for us won't work someone else either. They have to do what is right for them and nobody on the internet can say other wise. Again maybe they should talk to the guys they have played with in the past or currently playing with now and get to know them outside the bedroom and become friends first and get their feelings on relaxing the rules instead of just hooking up with random men. That would be my only other bit of advice but again I'm a stranger on the internet and as my husband says " Opinions are like Assholes everyone has one and their all full of ******* including mine"

 

[James Moody]

Thats funny ....but come on!!! If you are going to share be confident that your partner is satisfied in every other way. Hubby also tells them "if you want to keep her you have too take the crazy and maintenence as well".....they just want the good pussy....they don't mind letting hubby keep the rest.. lol

I especially like the "they just want good pussy" part. I'd like to weigh in on that...We could compare bragging rights -- I've got good pussy eating and good dick. What a pairing we'd make...

 

[MrsBumpNGrind]

I mean....I'll put it out there, all I'm looking for is good dick and pussy eating skills.....what woman isn't if you have both its a win win

 

[James Moody]

I mean....I'll put it out there, all I'm looking for is good dick and pussy eating skills.....what woman isn't if you have both its a win win

Check your DMs.

 

[Rajnikki]

They go to friends in they have in the community since apparently they have been in the lifestyle with their current rules.

The no kissing things is well known that doesn't mean it's practiced by a majority or a small group. It just means it's well known I've have known couples with this rule and seen it on very popular swinging dating sites for years for couples. Some say kissing is not ok some say some kissing is ok and others say no french/tongue kissing as that's something the couple keeps for themselves,it's no different really than condom rules and creampie rules. We are in the south and have seen these rules on many of peoples profiles over the years on swinging sites. Again not saying it's a minority or a majority just that's it's well known.

I did not take his original post as to them wanting to expand their experience as a couple it came across to me as something she wants and he might not be 100% on board with it and he doesn't want to admit to it on here out of fear of being ridiculed.

All I was saying is don't ask people on the internet for advice because it never works out well EVER!!!! It is something they have to discuss and come to a conclusion on their own. Too many people these days want advice from complete strangers these days who don't give a damn about them all they want is their next dick or pussy and I'll say again each person needs to decide for themselves what's more important having a happy fruitful marriage or the next piece of strange. If you are just doing something or relaxing what makes you feel safe because you feel like you are pressured into it or to try to hold on to someone, all it will do is breed resentment and jealousy in the long run imho.

But what works for you won't work for someone else and what works for us won't work someone else either. They have to do what is right for them and nobody on the internet can say other wise. Again maybe they should talk to the guys they have played with in the past or currently playing with now and get to know them outside the bedroom and become friends first and get their feelings on relaxing the rules instead of just hooking up with random men. That would be my only other bit of advice but again I'm a stranger on the internet and as my husband says " Opinions are like Assholes everyone has one and their all full of ******* including mine"

I truly find your comments very thoughtful. Thanks again

 

[OlderCouple88]

We love each other for last 10 years . We have following rules developed over time
- she can fuck BBC only when I am around
- she doesn’t fuck the same bbc 2nd time to avoid building emotional connect
- she doesn’t kiss them, she allows them to kiss her body but not on lips and pussy
- she has fucked bbc with full penetration inside around say 4-5 times in last 3 years .
Questions
1. We both are very excited with the idea of bbc fucking her but get nervous also that whether it will spoil our love and sex !
2 . what can we do to enjoy BBC Sex but not hurt our relationship and love
3 . When should we relax our rules and which one .

It never hurt us.