I found cuck porn when I was about 14. At the time I was not having the best school life with being in a learning support program because of not being good with spelling/reading and a speech problem. Who wants to date the kid who isn't normal enough to have classes with the rest of the school. Naturally, I was a little bit of a social target in school. My mom passed away when I was 4, i
I was on my 2nd step-mom( never married) since then. My sister was 20 and was always having screaming matches with my ******* and step mom about going out to late etc. My first cuck video titled" Guy loses bet, eat guys load" After that I thought I had a " bet humiliation fetish" I searched for everything titled " bet/betting" on every porn site. In senior year of HS I found craigslist and posted a ad "to be a girls rim fwb" Which was a friend who eats your ass but nothing else. I found a woman who was in her mid 20's. She was curvier but after talking for some talk we met in person . I never saw her again after that, I think eating ass is only something you shouldn't compromise on looks for. She did though bring up that her ex was it into cuckolding. His name was matt(I dream matt was never born) Me and her never saw each other again but I found cuckolding porn after 35 times of trying to spell it( Remember I was bad at spelling lol).
I started watching just basic stag type ones and it continual. I left high school with no physical contact besides eating a ass. I started a dishwashing job overnight 4 times a week( which kills a social life if I had one) went to community college 45 mins away twice a week for night school. I live about a hour south of Pittsburgh PA. So the town was very small so must people went to live in the city for school. But I didn't want to spend the extra loans.
At 19, I went again and posted a ad on Craigslist to be a couples" sexually butler" bc I didnt think the term cuck was even known. From there I had a couple(s) write me and some wanted to include me sexually but I knew that I couldn't have sex and be a cuck. I would meet a couple in their mid-30's. They understood that I didn't want a equal threesum and after pics, video's and phone chats we were on the same page. Well one friday in 2011 I drove 2 hours to meet them and it went down as good as one cuck would hope. It went down so good that I had a very hard time trying to not think about it. But cuckolding is about sexualzies pain.
So after 2 weeks of fighting it I was back on the cuck stuff. This time the "cleanup" " fuck-licking stuff didn't seem so gay. I found another couple, and 3 days after them another. I'm 2 hours from Cleveland, 3 from DC, 4 1/2 to NYC, 3 from Baltimore. Posting in different cities made it hard not to find couples. Most just didn't understand my " my dick doesn't get touched" rule. Some wanted a more passive male third helper but lots were bad at it. I selpt in my car more times than I can remember because hotel are $$$. I even met women black/white that just wanted oral/ass eaten, foot rubs( which really wasn't my thing),
But after 2 years at almost 22 I joined the PA army national guard. It was then that I might a couple that took it to the next step. I never really in my posts brought up in detail what I did. Bc I wanted it to be the choose of the couple and not something I picked for them. Bc lots of couples just want to go with what you want which Is not cuckolding. But this couple were in their early 40's and I met them at a bar. Went back to their hot tub and talked. Then went inside to play. But after 20mins I was under her well he was fucking her( which wasn't my first time) But his dick fell out and you can just guess. Which was the first time and I just couldn't handle it and run out their house with my shirt off. I had watched all the cuckolding porn in the world with cucks during everything. I did cleanup many different ways that did take a lot from me after to convince myself that I wasn't weak/beta/gay that I just had a fetish. 5 days later I went to basic training/AIT in fort Jackson , SC.
Again at that point I never had sex with a woman yet. I've been with 12 women having sex but I never had my dick in one. So 6 months of army ******* and I felt I didn't have to enjoy being a cuck anymore. I made plans to start lifting, eat more calories, get cooler cloths/shores/ Get all theses pick-up programs you see on youtube.I got 6 moths later and started to go to a 4- year school that was only 20 mins from me. I thought that would get pass my cuck history and just meet pretty college girl and go to parties. But my school didn't have but one bar and 90%/10 women to guy ratio didn't help. I gained about 20 pounds lean, I lifted off and on for years and was pretty built as it was at 5'10, 175LB. I bought every dating/attraction program to compare each one.. real social dynamics, dating with todd, tripp advice. The ******* I could tell you about the laws of attraction are like attracts like, Nature abhors a Vacuum and the present is always perfect.( Law of reciprocity is also a great one to understand). I researched every thing on male enhancement from jelqing, hanging, extenders(phallosan forte), clamping, supplements.( I had bought a Jelqing device/clamper back in high school and did that off and on for a number of months) For I wasn't small but for sure not a BBC. Average is ok but advancement leads to excellence. (I took that last line from a genetic engineering video about engineering perfect babies. Maybe we all get big dicks in the future
But I was a information systems major and not so many women are going to be in c++ programming or cisco networking classes. So I did have some success in making a friends at work and I became friends with a 35 year old woman who answered by " Friendzone me" ad. Which was a ad that was basically a cuck one but i worded it much different. ( warehouse job and also my 6 PT since HS every semester came with a new schedule and then a new part time job was needed ). We went out to Pittsburgh a few times, well lots of time. I became a DJ for a company. I was a DJ assistant for weddings and did my own 2 shows twice a week for about 2 years. I also started driving for uber. A youtube video give the advice to meet new people. So I was driving strangers around 4 nights a week before and after my DJ gigs. I was talkative, funny ( I knew what subject I was going to talk about before I started driving) One was a trivia night and the other a karaoke.
With a smaller city you still get 75% men 25 % women, being 30 miles away from the city and still living at home( BC I thought I was doing the responsible thing by not wasting by living at a college 20 mins from home). So 2 guys in bars with just so many individual groups of people. With every place playing music as loud as god allows how can you chat up a women. I had some success with doing what the youtube viodes did and just walked up to women. Well numbers, but it was always something that stopped anything from happing. It could be living distance, school/work schedule, I didn't have the money to go out, Living at home didn't help, also the normal probelms everyone gets by texting like being boring, needy, not keeping her interest, being sarcastic with emojis etc. I did it all the time DJ-ing because that's what a DJ does you talk. Ubering, Dj-ing, bars, school, etc. It seemed like everyone already had their set friends and dating lives. I always thought that dating, party, fun just happened in college if you put yourself out there and just never seemed to let the validation seeking get to you to much. Such it most certainly did. I put the opinions of women ahead of my own self-worth. I knew all the things I have accomplished but it wasn't enough if other people didn't know. Which I 100% understand is super vain. Its not always sunshine and rainbows when you look in the mirror sometimes. As men we get told what we're supposed to be so we never find out who we really are.
After a set back financially from school I just wanted something to make me feel good. I gave up and just went to a girl I met online for 150$ I was going to have sex. So 4 hours later I'm 23 and at this girls place with her friend. For 200 I could have had both but I wasnt for that yet. So about 10 mins in with the sex ( which I felt I was going to cum way quicker) She passes out on top of me. I try to wake her and she wakes up but in no way was on So I called her friend down and left. After that short 4 months of trying to build up a better me I gave in and cuckolding was there with open arms. It I saw that cuckolding was a cooping-mechanism for me. Moments i felt negativity happened in my life or i felt alone, sad or missing out on having a health dating/social life are when I when straight to talking to women, couples, porn. I would listening to podcast that made me feel when worse and then more cuck porn. Its still like that and its a ******* your brain feed off of. I started to talk to more single women online and even met a few in person around my area, then NYC area, And somehow Philly was just full of women who woudlnt a cuck. this was about time the interracial dynamic thing came into play. I grew up in a place where it was a big selection of races. Where 20 mins north your in a predominate black community and 20 mins south there's nothing but white communities. There seemed to always be a unspoken tension when in came to race.
I was meeting a couple every few months or so. I had a sister who has crohns disease so that was midnight hospital trips 3-5 times a month. And 25% of my weekends I was at my army drills.( 90 miles from home), with 3 days a week at 12 hour days in a warehouse building pallets. Her pain pills after about a year turned into harder stuff which turned ugly. We have a 4 member , including the now 3nd step mom figure in the house who moved in when I was 17 When there's a family member with a ******* problem it really shows you who is for family or not. After more family frights and more fail computer courses I was told I was going on deployment. The closer the deployment was the more women I spoken to about my cuckolding. Each one just couldn't be with someone like me. I'm not in anyway a sissy sounding guy and I'm not at all into name calling/belittlement . Which lots of women don't understand.
The more nervous I got about it the more I watch bbc blowjob, cuck cleanup, subbyhubby, candy monroe, spring Thomas, cumeatingcuckods, cuckolsessions. clip4sale.com etc. On deployment It was bad emotionally, the fact I was losing so much weight, had continual reminders of my lack of a sexual life . But got to go home after 8 months. I came back with 3 women in 3 states that I talked to daily the whole time I had service. I had 32k in the bank. So I went to all three in about 2 months. Them stories would make this one writing a little bit too long. I might a Latino woman who was 3 years older than me and had a 6 year old in the town I went to my army drills in. It was actually from tinder lol. We got along and I started to drive to her the 90 miles twice a week to hang out and have sex. She was just from el Salvador just months before. She was typically married to a 50 year guy from her country but she said they weren't together she was just staying married for a green card. I believed her. It was the first time in 8 years since High school that I was in somewhat a real relationship. But with a addict sister, harder finance course, work etc. I sometimes only saw her when I was at drill weekend. My dick became a problem after sometime as well bc I couldn't stay hard bc I just didn't feel the some excitement as being a service cuck. She was pretty, I mean one of them women we think will make all our sadness go away. One that average men see and just don't even try to make that dream of her a real thing. That it wasn't about being bigger enough, talking confident enough, having the right clothes, being funny/interesting. I simply enjoyed putting women on a pedestal more. Taking a mental notice of her freckles on her body, the coloring of her hair, the pinkness of her lips. I just became just grown to custom to feeling special when a attractive couple would reach out to me and I knew I wasn't having sex but the desire to want became more fulfilling than to have. Its where kissing her on the neck, licking, and holding her hair back gave you more of a meaningful feeling than having actually have sex with her.
Precipitating as in actions that may or may not have a desirable women see me less of a man makes me feel freer and closer to a woman than continually trying to be the super version of Chuck Norris. If she can see me in a light that even I have a hard time seeing myself and still desire my attention. Then I felt useful for someone rather just myself. Being a cuck who is
7 months latter she moved back home. It was in this 7 months I met a couple from Florida.
I had about a 1 1/2 year left of school this time for finance. I met a white woman who had a black bf in Orlando online. I didn't know at the time how you can'nt be both desired as a cuck and loved as a man with she already has her man. But she was kinda the stereotypical snowbunny, not big but curvy, yoga pants, hoops earings, blonde hair. I knew already that being the cuck was emotional harder with the woman was better looking. So it sort of made it harder to be seen as this beta of types. I mean I was a Iraq vet, worked manual labor lots of times, Learned Russian and Spanish very well. I wasn't shy, not bad looking or not unconfident in my words. But I went down to Orlando(MCO) close to 6 times in the 6 months I knew them. I was still trying to meet other single women who wanted this but I had a year and some months left of school. They were actually pretty cool. I mean no name calling or teasing. She wasn't a bad acting bitch of any kind. We could all have drinks and then go play without needing to label roles.
But I knew early on that I wanted a real relationship. That I have spend to much time alone, listening to others, making the best decision out of making extra income to save and during every internship that offered me a position. To be with someone who just enjoys the fetish wasn't going to work no matter how much I told myself it would when my dick got the best of me. Just like all the couples I was with before who kissed each other as I was getting dressed. How many women I spoke to by the dozens for 100 of hours of phone calls. From women who wanted a "cuck" because she had the sex drive for it, or she had bad past relationships, she wanted someone to be there in her life but knew that day will come that sex sours and wants to know when it happens you will be ok with inviting others to play. Some women love to romanticize having a cuck by writing endless articles only on the good but never the bad.
Which no matter how close you develop as a couple there will always be the feeling its unnatural. Again this is from more of a cuck perspective. Women endlessly say that its harder for women because of "slut shaming" Ask yourself this , if you were to sperate after 10 year who would have the hardest time adapting to finding love again? The guy who spent 10 years eating creampies of other men or the women who felt to much like a slut to fell self-respect again. I love cuckolding and its uniqueness. I also know the efforts reality, time and life history can have you both parties. Some think you enjoy the teasing/humiliation and if you are that type they never ask you why. After years you never get asked "WHY" you want to be a cuck. They get so many message from guys like me that they just think its because we just do. You think that as little boys we thought that this would be something we would be proud of. That was about 2 years ago the flordia couple and the El Salvador girl was about 3. So that's sort of 90% of my current story.
I was on my 2nd step-mom( never married) since then. My sister was 20 and was always having screaming matches with my ******* and step mom about going out to late etc. My first cuck video titled" Guy loses bet, eat guys load" After that I thought I had a " bet humiliation fetish" I searched for everything titled " bet/betting" on every porn site. In senior year of HS I found craigslist and posted a ad "to be a girls rim fwb" Which was a friend who eats your ass but nothing else. I found a woman who was in her mid 20's. She was curvier but after talking for some talk we met in person . I never saw her again after that, I think eating ass is only something you shouldn't compromise on looks for. She did though bring up that her ex was it into cuckolding. His name was matt(I dream matt was never born) Me and her never saw each other again but I found cuckolding porn after 35 times of trying to spell it( Remember I was bad at spelling lol).
I started watching just basic stag type ones and it continual. I left high school with no physical contact besides eating a ass. I started a dishwashing job overnight 4 times a week( which kills a social life if I had one) went to community college 45 mins away twice a week for night school. I live about a hour south of Pittsburgh PA. So the town was very small so must people went to live in the city for school. But I didn't want to spend the extra loans.
At 19, I went again and posted a ad on Craigslist to be a couples" sexually butler" bc I didnt think the term cuck was even known. From there I had a couple(s) write me and some wanted to include me sexually but I knew that I couldn't have sex and be a cuck. I would meet a couple in their mid-30's. They understood that I didn't want a equal threesum and after pics, video's and phone chats we were on the same page. Well one friday in 2011 I drove 2 hours to meet them and it went down as good as one cuck would hope. It went down so good that I had a very hard time trying to not think about it. But cuckolding is about sexualzies pain.
So after 2 weeks of fighting it I was back on the cuck stuff. This time the "cleanup" " fuck-licking stuff didn't seem so gay. I found another couple, and 3 days after them another. I'm 2 hours from Cleveland, 3 from DC, 4 1/2 to NYC, 3 from Baltimore. Posting in different cities made it hard not to find couples. Most just didn't understand my " my dick doesn't get touched" rule. Some wanted a more passive male third helper but lots were bad at it. I selpt in my car more times than I can remember because hotel are $$$. I even met women black/white that just wanted oral/ass eaten, foot rubs( which really wasn't my thing),
But after 2 years at almost 22 I joined the PA army national guard. It was then that I might a couple that took it to the next step. I never really in my posts brought up in detail what I did. Bc I wanted it to be the choose of the couple and not something I picked for them. Bc lots of couples just want to go with what you want which Is not cuckolding. But this couple were in their early 40's and I met them at a bar. Went back to their hot tub and talked. Then went inside to play. But after 20mins I was under her well he was fucking her( which wasn't my first time) But his dick fell out and you can just guess. Which was the first time and I just couldn't handle it and run out their house with my shirt off. I had watched all the cuckolding porn in the world with cucks during everything. I did cleanup many different ways that did take a lot from me after to convince myself that I wasn't weak/beta/gay that I just had a fetish. 5 days later I went to basic training/AIT in fort Jackson , SC.
Again at that point I never had sex with a woman yet. I've been with 12 women having sex but I never had my dick in one. So 6 months of army ******* and I felt I didn't have to enjoy being a cuck anymore. I made plans to start lifting, eat more calories, get cooler cloths/shores/ Get all theses pick-up programs you see on youtube.I got 6 moths later and started to go to a 4- year school that was only 20 mins from me. I thought that would get pass my cuck history and just meet pretty college girl and go to parties. But my school didn't have but one bar and 90%/10 women to guy ratio didn't help. I gained about 20 pounds lean, I lifted off and on for years and was pretty built as it was at 5'10, 175LB. I bought every dating/attraction program to compare each one.. real social dynamics, dating with todd, tripp advice. The ******* I could tell you about the laws of attraction are like attracts like, Nature abhors a Vacuum and the present is always perfect.( Law of reciprocity is also a great one to understand). I researched every thing on male enhancement from jelqing, hanging, extenders(phallosan forte), clamping, supplements.( I had bought a Jelqing device/clamper back in high school and did that off and on for a number of months) For I wasn't small but for sure not a BBC. Average is ok but advancement leads to excellence. (I took that last line from a genetic engineering video about engineering perfect babies. Maybe we all get big dicks in the future
But I was a information systems major and not so many women are going to be in c++ programming or cisco networking classes. So I did have some success in making a friends at work and I became friends with a 35 year old woman who answered by " Friendzone me" ad. Which was a ad that was basically a cuck one but i worded it much different. ( warehouse job and also my 6 PT since HS every semester came with a new schedule and then a new part time job was needed ). We went out to Pittsburgh a few times, well lots of time. I became a DJ for a company. I was a DJ assistant for weddings and did my own 2 shows twice a week for about 2 years. I also started driving for uber. A youtube video give the advice to meet new people. So I was driving strangers around 4 nights a week before and after my DJ gigs. I was talkative, funny ( I knew what subject I was going to talk about before I started driving) One was a trivia night and the other a karaoke.
With a smaller city you still get 75% men 25 % women, being 30 miles away from the city and still living at home( BC I thought I was doing the responsible thing by not wasting by living at a college 20 mins from home). So 2 guys in bars with just so many individual groups of people. With every place playing music as loud as god allows how can you chat up a women. I had some success with doing what the youtube viodes did and just walked up to women. Well numbers, but it was always something that stopped anything from happing. It could be living distance, school/work schedule, I didn't have the money to go out, Living at home didn't help, also the normal probelms everyone gets by texting like being boring, needy, not keeping her interest, being sarcastic with emojis etc. I did it all the time DJ-ing because that's what a DJ does you talk. Ubering, Dj-ing, bars, school, etc. It seemed like everyone already had their set friends and dating lives. I always thought that dating, party, fun just happened in college if you put yourself out there and just never seemed to let the validation seeking get to you to much. Such it most certainly did. I put the opinions of women ahead of my own self-worth. I knew all the things I have accomplished but it wasn't enough if other people didn't know. Which I 100% understand is super vain. Its not always sunshine and rainbows when you look in the mirror sometimes. As men we get told what we're supposed to be so we never find out who we really are.
After a set back financially from school I just wanted something to make me feel good. I gave up and just went to a girl I met online for 150$ I was going to have sex. So 4 hours later I'm 23 and at this girls place with her friend. For 200 I could have had both but I wasnt for that yet. So about 10 mins in with the sex ( which I felt I was going to cum way quicker) She passes out on top of me. I try to wake her and she wakes up but in no way was on So I called her friend down and left. After that short 4 months of trying to build up a better me I gave in and cuckolding was there with open arms. It I saw that cuckolding was a cooping-mechanism for me. Moments i felt negativity happened in my life or i felt alone, sad or missing out on having a health dating/social life are when I when straight to talking to women, couples, porn. I would listening to podcast that made me feel when worse and then more cuck porn. Its still like that and its a ******* your brain feed off of. I started to talk to more single women online and even met a few in person around my area, then NYC area, And somehow Philly was just full of women who woudlnt a cuck. this was about time the interracial dynamic thing came into play. I grew up in a place where it was a big selection of races. Where 20 mins north your in a predominate black community and 20 mins south there's nothing but white communities. There seemed to always be a unspoken tension when in came to race.
I was meeting a couple every few months or so. I had a sister who has crohns disease so that was midnight hospital trips 3-5 times a month. And 25% of my weekends I was at my army drills.( 90 miles from home), with 3 days a week at 12 hour days in a warehouse building pallets. Her pain pills after about a year turned into harder stuff which turned ugly. We have a 4 member , including the now 3nd step mom figure in the house who moved in when I was 17 When there's a family member with a ******* problem it really shows you who is for family or not. After more family frights and more fail computer courses I was told I was going on deployment. The closer the deployment was the more women I spoken to about my cuckolding. Each one just couldn't be with someone like me. I'm not in anyway a sissy sounding guy and I'm not at all into name calling/belittlement . Which lots of women don't understand.
The more nervous I got about it the more I watch bbc blowjob, cuck cleanup, subbyhubby, candy monroe, spring Thomas, cumeatingcuckods, cuckolsessions. clip4sale.com etc. On deployment It was bad emotionally, the fact I was losing so much weight, had continual reminders of my lack of a sexual life . But got to go home after 8 months. I came back with 3 women in 3 states that I talked to daily the whole time I had service. I had 32k in the bank. So I went to all three in about 2 months. Them stories would make this one writing a little bit too long. I might a Latino woman who was 3 years older than me and had a 6 year old in the town I went to my army drills in. It was actually from tinder lol. We got along and I started to drive to her the 90 miles twice a week to hang out and have sex. She was just from el Salvador just months before. She was typically married to a 50 year guy from her country but she said they weren't together she was just staying married for a green card. I believed her. It was the first time in 8 years since High school that I was in somewhat a real relationship. But with a addict sister, harder finance course, work etc. I sometimes only saw her when I was at drill weekend. My dick became a problem after sometime as well bc I couldn't stay hard bc I just didn't feel the some excitement as being a service cuck. She was pretty, I mean one of them women we think will make all our sadness go away. One that average men see and just don't even try to make that dream of her a real thing. That it wasn't about being bigger enough, talking confident enough, having the right clothes, being funny/interesting. I simply enjoyed putting women on a pedestal more. Taking a mental notice of her freckles on her body, the coloring of her hair, the pinkness of her lips. I just became just grown to custom to feeling special when a attractive couple would reach out to me and I knew I wasn't having sex but the desire to want became more fulfilling than to have. Its where kissing her on the neck, licking, and holding her hair back gave you more of a meaningful feeling than having actually have sex with her.
Precipitating as in actions that may or may not have a desirable women see me less of a man makes me feel freer and closer to a woman than continually trying to be the super version of Chuck Norris. If she can see me in a light that even I have a hard time seeing myself and still desire my attention. Then I felt useful for someone rather just myself. Being a cuck who is
7 months latter she moved back home. It was in this 7 months I met a couple from Florida.
I had about a 1 1/2 year left of school this time for finance. I met a white woman who had a black bf in Orlando online. I didn't know at the time how you can'nt be both desired as a cuck and loved as a man with she already has her man. But she was kinda the stereotypical snowbunny, not big but curvy, yoga pants, hoops earings, blonde hair. I knew already that being the cuck was emotional harder with the woman was better looking. So it sort of made it harder to be seen as this beta of types. I mean I was a Iraq vet, worked manual labor lots of times, Learned Russian and Spanish very well. I wasn't shy, not bad looking or not unconfident in my words. But I went down to Orlando(MCO) close to 6 times in the 6 months I knew them. I was still trying to meet other single women who wanted this but I had a year and some months left of school. They were actually pretty cool. I mean no name calling or teasing. She wasn't a bad acting bitch of any kind. We could all have drinks and then go play without needing to label roles.
But I knew early on that I wanted a real relationship. That I have spend to much time alone, listening to others, making the best decision out of making extra income to save and during every internship that offered me a position. To be with someone who just enjoys the fetish wasn't going to work no matter how much I told myself it would when my dick got the best of me. Just like all the couples I was with before who kissed each other as I was getting dressed. How many women I spoke to by the dozens for 100 of hours of phone calls. From women who wanted a "cuck" because she had the sex drive for it, or she had bad past relationships, she wanted someone to be there in her life but knew that day will come that sex sours and wants to know when it happens you will be ok with inviting others to play. Some women love to romanticize having a cuck by writing endless articles only on the good but never the bad.
Which no matter how close you develop as a couple there will always be the feeling its unnatural. Again this is from more of a cuck perspective. Women endlessly say that its harder for women because of "slut shaming" Ask yourself this , if you were to sperate after 10 year who would have the hardest time adapting to finding love again? The guy who spent 10 years eating creampies of other men or the women who felt to much like a slut to fell self-respect again. I love cuckolding and its uniqueness. I also know the efforts reality, time and life history can have you both parties. Some think you enjoy the teasing/humiliation and if you are that type they never ask you why. After years you never get asked "WHY" you want to be a cuck. They get so many message from guys like me that they just think its because we just do. You think that as little boys we thought that this would be something we would be proud of. That was about 2 years ago the flordia couple and the El Salvador girl was about 3. So that's sort of 90% of my current story.
