Dating as a wannabe cuckold

[BCumFunctional]

Hey.

This a weird ass thread to make and I'm not expecting too much since most this site seems to be single white dudes laying out their fantasies with one hand while furiously yanking their dicks with the other but here we go. I'm mostly tryna squeeze out some info and advice from married men or women currently IN the lifestyle. This ain't no "pick me" thread.

I'm a white guy, very much single and in my late twenties (still young but not THAT young no more) and I'm recovering slowly from a crippling porn addiction which has set me back on all fronts of life for over a decade. I'm been in therapy for almost a year, I been working out for the same period, job is stable and pays decently for my current situation and I feel like I'm at a stage where I am sufficiently confident I can try my hands at dating.

Now, here's the thing: a stag/vixen dynamic is very much a life goal so when I date, I essentially have that in mind. This kinda makes apps like tinder a no-go. It also makes women from my entourage a no-go too. Last thing I want is getting my... proclivities exposed to my social circle.

This leaves me with FetLife. Ok. I make an account, post some pics of my pasty ass on display. (jk, pics are family friendly), type a proper bio, join the proper groups. Try to strike some convos. Join some munches/social events, the whole thing. And my observation is as follows:

FetLife is VERY BDSM-centered and subscribe-to-my-onlyfans-for-a-free-dickrate-centered. Good for poly people into latex, whips and ball gags, ok-ish for preestablished couples, ok-ish for bulls. If you're a wannabe cuck, you're essentially seen as a potential onlyfans subscriber and like/comment/follow fodder.

Most events in my area are gangbangs, munches where they mainly talk bout ropes n sht, workshops where they actually teach you how you do ropes n sht and events where you get to use ropes n sht. Needless to say crushing majority of women there are happily taken. I been to half a dozen munches and workshops throughout the year.

There's also swingers' meets at clubs but those are reserved to the holy trifecta of bulls, couples and single women. I been to clubs during Open House days and it's majority bulls and minority couples anyway.

Now there are snowbunnies on Fet but they're, well... SNOWBUNNIES. They're looking to date/fuck black guys, certainly not my pasty ass.

Tbh, I'm kinda lost. How do younger guys get to that point? Is it even possible lol I'm saying younger guys cuz I assume for older men, it's usually a 20-years deep second marriage, 2 beautiful children old enough to come home ******* and enough social/financial entanglement to safely confess their fantasies with the wife being sexually unsatisfied/curious enough to take the bait.

 

[woody0]

Hey.

This a weird ass thread to make and I'm not expecting too much since most this site seems to be single white dudes laying out their fantasies with one hand while furiously yanking their dicks with the other but here we go. I'm mostly tryna squeeze out some info and advice from married men or women currently IN the lifestyle. This ain't no "pick me" thread.

I'm a white guy, very much single and in my late twenties (still young but not THAT young no more) and I'm recovering slowly from a crippling porn addiction which has set me back on all fronts of life for over a decade. I'm been in therapy for almost a year, I been working out for the same period, job is stable and pays decently for my current situation and I feel like I'm at a stage where I am sufficiently confident I can try my hands at dating.

Now, here's the thing: a stag/vixen dynamic is very much a life goal so when I date, I essentially have that in mind. This kinda makes apps like tinder a no-go. It also makes women from my entourage a no-go too. Last thing I want is getting my... proclivities exposed to my social circle.

This leaves me with FetLife. Ok. I make an account, post some pics of my pasty ass on display. (jk, pics are family friendly), type a proper bio, join the proper groups. Try to strike some convos. Join some munches/social events, the whole thing. And my observation is as follows:

FetLife is VERY BDSM-centered and subscribe-to-my-onlyfans-for-a-free-dickrate-centered. Good for poly people into latex, whips and ball gags, ok-ish for preestablished couples, ok-ish for bulls. If you're a wannabe cuck, you're essentially seen as a potential onlyfans subscriber and like/comment/follow fodder.

Most events in my area are gangbangs, munches where they mainly talk bout ropes n *******, workshops where they actually teach you how you do ropes n ******* and events where you get to use ropes n *******. Needless to say crushing majority of women there are happily taken. I been to half a dozen munches and workshops throughout the year.

There's also swingers' meets at clubs but those are reserved to the holy trifecta of bulls, couples and single women. I been to clubs during Open House days and it's majority bulls and minority couples anyway.

Now there are snowbunnies on Fet but they're, well... SNOWBUNNIES. They're looking to date/fuck black guys, certainly not my pasty ass.

Tbh, I'm kinda lost. How do younger guys get to that point? Is it even possible lol I'm saying younger guys cuz I assume for older men, it's usually a 20-years deep second marriage, 2 beautiful children old enough to come home ******* and enough social/financial entanglement to safely confess their fantasies with the wife being sexually unsatisfied/curious enough to take the bait.

Same problem here
From London

 

[theblackgod18]

Hey.

This a weird ass thread to make and I'm not expecting too much since most this site seems to be single white dudes laying out their fantasies with one hand while furiously yanking their dicks with the other but here we go. I'm mostly tryna squeeze out some info and advice from married men or women currently IN the lifestyle. This ain't no "pick me" thread.

I'm a white guy, very much single and in my late twenties (still young but not THAT young no more) and I'm recovering slowly from a crippling porn addiction which has set me back on all fronts of life for over a decade. I'm been in therapy for almost a year, I been working out for the same period, job is stable and pays decently for my current situation and I feel like I'm at a stage where I am sufficiently confident I can try my hands at dating.

Now, here's the thing: a stag/vixen dynamic is very much a life goal so when I date, I essentially have that in mind. This kinda makes apps like tinder a no-go. It also makes women from my entourage a no-go too. Last thing I want is getting my... proclivities exposed to my social circle.

This leaves me with FetLife. Ok. I make an account, post some pics of my pasty ass on display. (jk, pics are family friendly), type a proper bio, join the proper groups. Try to strike some convos. Join some munches/social events, the whole thing. And my observation is as follows:

FetLife is VERY BDSM-centered and subscribe-to-my-onlyfans-for-a-free-dickrate-centered. Good for poly people into latex, whips and ball gags, ok-ish for preestablished couples, ok-ish for bulls. If you're a wannabe cuck, you're essentially seen as a potential onlyfans subscriber and like/comment/follow fodder.

Most events in my area are gangbangs, munches where they mainly talk bout ropes n sht, workshops where they actually teach you how you do ropes n sht and events where you get to use ropes n sht. Needless to say crushing majority of women there are happily taken. I been to half a dozen munches and workshops throughout the year.

There's also swingers' meets at clubs but those are reserved to the holy trifecta of bulls, couples and single women. I been to clubs during Open House days and it's majority bulls and minority couples anyway.

Now there are snowbunnies on Fet but they're, well... SNOWBUNNIES. They're looking to date/fuck black guys, certainly not my pasty ass.

Tbh, I'm kinda lost. How do younger guys get to that point? Is it even possible lol I'm saying younger guys cuz I assume for older men, it's usually a 20-years deep second marriage, 2 beautiful children old enough to come home ******* and enough social/financial entanglement to safely confess their fantasies with the wife being sexually unsatisfied/curious enough to take the bait.

Dm

 

[BCumFunctional]

Chances of you meeting a woman who wants to start a relationship with a gimp cock cage wearing guy who does not fuck her but that she is in fact a wonton sex addict for bbc but really wants to date and marrry a caged cuck probably bi fag for the sadomasochistic pleasure of it is probably less that 0000000001% but hey you got a chance.

I never said I was into sissy/bi/chastity/pussyfree/dom/sub stuff In fact, I'm into none of that.

But I have no issue dating in a more "normal" setting, I just want to know I'm dating on the kinky realm. Most "true" cucks/stags I noticed develop their fetishes deep into their relationships. I'm past that stage and I know what I want. I just want to navigate the dating scene with a goal in mind. No different from a man/woman dating with certain standards in their partners.

 

[theblackgod18]

I never said I was into sissy/bi/chastity/pussyfree/dom/sub stuff In fact, I'm into none of that.

But I have no issue dating in a more "normal" setting, I just want to know I'm dating on the kinky realm. Most "true" cucks/stags I noticed develop their fetishes deep into their relationships. I'm past that stage and I know what I want. I just want to navigate the dating scene with a goal in mind. No different from a man/woman dating with certain standards in their partners.

Ok

 

[What150]

My suggestion (which is simply that:....one guys suggestion and advice) is that you focus on finding kinky females who are both open minded and non judgemental and ok with exploring kink alongside you.
They may not even know what type of kinks they enjoy yet but they are open, willing to explore, and not going to dump on you for your thoughts and fantasies even if the two of you never act on them.
I would suggest Bumble dating app with a kink friendly profile. This is what i did and now happily married. Best luck out there...

 

[cuckoldssss]

Let’s look at the term hotwife. Notice the wife part? That means you have a long established relationship, long enough to get married. You want this for real so let’s be realistic. Although there are exceptions we can probably assume that most of that time was spent in monogamy for most of the beginning of their relationships for most real hotwifing couples. Then after years of trust, not being a wussy or a spazz on your part and having a great kinky sex life by going one little step at a time further pushing sexual boundaries and having great communication skills eventually you may end up doing some hotwifing, wife watching or swinging of some sort. Chances of you meeting a woman who wants to start a relationship with a gimp cock cage wearing guy who does not fuck her but that she is in fact a wonton sex addict for bbc but really wants to date and marrry a caged cuck probably bi fag for the sadomasochistic pleasure of it is probably less that 0000000001% but hey you got a chance. Wake up play the long game, way better chances of getting what you want and you are supposed to date and marry someone so great that if it never happens that’s ok too

Well said

 

[BCumFunctional]

My suggestion (which simply that:....one dude's suggestion and advice) is that you focus on finding kinky females who are open minded and non judgemental. They may not even know what type of kinks they enjoy yet but they are open, willing to explore, and not going to dump on you for your thoughts and fantasies even if the two of you never act on them.
I would suggest Bumble dating app with a kink friendly profile. This is what i did and now happily married. Best luck out there...

Thank you. Kinky women who might not necessarily being into it but at least openminded enough to not judge me for my fantasies I exactly what I'm looking for. I might try my hand at bumble and hint at being on the kinkier side of things.

 

[JaxCougar]

99% of women in cuckold relationships did start out looking for a cuckold. It something that tends to happen naturally over the course of a marriage/relationship. If I was single again, I would just look for a well-hung alpha guy.

 

[emperormwm]

It is very difficult for a single guy to move into this sphere. There are many primitive reasons for this one being the smell of inexperience, fair or unfair, as well

The more women a man has, the more appealing he is to other women. Long ago I adventured worldwide by placing my well-crafted and persuasive ads seeking kinky and open females and over time I found them. In many countries, more than 100 now. It adds up. I discovered my enjoyment of hotwifing with previous gfs, but these ladies would not have been interested in me before I was at least late 20s or early 30s because I didn't have the depth of worldly experience I have now.

Once you acquire this, the aura is pervasive and what seem to younger dudes amazing things can happen. Example, I was in Bulgaria last week and met a 19-year old college girl kind of by chance at the bar. We flirted and chatted. Turned out she is kinky and she sensed that I would dom and use her properly. I suggested we retire to her place and she submitted and I used her properly. First time she'd had age-gap relationship, especially with a man her Daddy's age lol! But all the better for it. She wants more, and next time I am going to take her and ride her in front of my wife who always sees me play with my toys just like I watch her play with hers. Now I could never have achieved this result at your stage of life. If I was anywhere near her age she would sense total tongue-drooling and orbiterism and be turned off. Instead she sensed - like all women btw you can't ever fool them because WOMEN ARE SMART (btw dude always work from this assumption not the other way around) - that I was for real and she was curious. Feminine curiosity can be activated to overcome internal inhibitions in these circumstances with a blend of bold and provocative hints and respectful engagement signaling maturity and consideration as well as dominant masculinity.

Now from your pov it does get better and the good new is, the less diffident and bolder you are about your kink and desire - whatever it is - the more likely you are to meet those who find it attractive. There are women who love bbc, obviously prevalent on this board, and those who love subbois - not so likely to be on here - and those who want to be a hotwife in an equal dynamic etc. Simply owning your kink and not being so afraid to announce it is a critical first step. it's not easy you'll experience pain and difficult times but at some point, something great will happen. If you don't seize the bull so to speak then it will never happen by accident. So you're off to a good start here.

However there's no magic bullet, no special site that guarantees your desire, and you've divined FetLife won't provide an instant answer. It can occasionally work, I've used it but not as a primary venue and the hardcore swingers who populate the site usually don't include inexperienced-but-curious women who will be the most fun.

My own hotwife was a swinger before we met...that's one of the reasons she attracted me, she'd done 4-bull black gangbang in a hotel before. There are lots of others btw she's an awesome lady, beautiful, hard-working, smart, principled, easygoing, nonjudgmental, so unlike many other women who can't resist the impulse to control their man.... she told me that before she met me, she could not imagine sharing a man. Now it's part of our life, just as her adventures are.