I totally hear ya. Happened to me last 25 years. I'm actually the one who wants bbc not wifeI’m sorry but it CAN! I fucked hot chicks my whole life n married one then I started watching ir porn and slowly over time the big black cock I realize is what was turning me on . Then it makes you have the desire to suck a bbc n be one of those girls in the videos . I’m not talking about “men “ in general cuz no I’m not attracted to men ... I’m attracted to older big black men with big cocks n know it