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The desire for a husband is delusional. I am not worthy of that. But if I can find a black man willing to claim me, I will pledge myself as his sex slave. I understand I have no right to ask for more. The only thing I need is to know he is real.

I have struggled with this desire for years but never acted on it. I don't know if I can handle it anymore and the fear of growing old without ever living this is scaring me. I didn't start out gay or trans but maybe I am now. I want to serve, obey, worship a strong black man as his girl. I...