Everyone has a different approach and overall experience in the lifestyle. It’s as unique as each individual life lived. To nonchalantly state that the issues we faced as a couple involved in the lifestyle are “unimportant“ sounds a lot more life victim blaming for the arrogant and egotistical people she dealt with while talking to or being with some of the men she met up with.
Instead of wanting genuine input on how different couples navigated the lifestyle when thrown a curveball, it seems you were looking for an excuse to shame those that didn’t handle th situations in the manner you would or at the very least to your standards.