When your wife repeatedly cried and apologized something doesn't seem right. Could it be you like the arrangement more than she and she just keeps doing it for you but not herself? Could it be the other guy was not a good match and fucking her for minutes and leaving immediately after made her feel used and disrespected?That first time was really strange. Wife and I have a good relationship. Way befor we did anything like this we kinda liked a little risky sexy play while on vacations.
We are adults, not hurting anyone. We do enjoy time with our friend. We've worked up to what we enjoy.
Sexually sharing can be such a positive, enjoyable and empowering lifestyle if everybody in it gets something out of it for themselves. If there is any imbalance and only one or two of three or four of the people taking part enjoy it greatly, and the other(s) not so much, it can be a big burden and even split relationships. If your wife is not in it perhaps better take a step back and tread lightly.