I’m not who everyone thinks I am. I have urges and desires they would never believe and should never know about. The problem is, somedays it’s all that I can do to fight these impulses, and life seems dull and pointless as long as I do. Here’s the trouble in a nutshell… I’m extremely attracted to some of the more forbidden types of sex. I’ve fantasized about sex with all kinds of men, especially black men. I dream of sex with more than one man at a time and often have constant fantasies of being taken by big, powerful black men. Outwardly, I appear to be a normal, hardworking wife and mother, but on the inside I’m a barely constrained slut. I’ve never acted upon the more darker of my urges, but I have had consentual affairs with black men I have known. I know that the affairs were wrong, but believe me, things could be far worse if I didn’t find at least some kind of outlet. I truly love my husband and my family, and I really do try to be the woman they need me to be. If they ever found out about this side of me it would destroy everything, and I’m afraid of the woman I would become once they were gone.