With many couples his sexual needs are his fantasies. Agreed not all husbands want to be denied intercourse with their wives. But some are happier knowing that she is now fulfilled and if he hasn't satisfied her, why embarrass himself with trying and failing? If any man pushes his wife into or simply allows her to sleep with other men, the risk is always there that he could get cutoff or even loose his wife.
Two things:
A) First if a guy says his fantisies are enough then my postition is
his Wife should be actively stoking & participating in those fantisies.
It begins & ends with
there should always be a sexual relationship & intimacy between a Husband & Wife. Both parties' needs need be equally met, even if the arrangement is imbalanced.
The above leaves wide open the whole spectrum of sexual expression for the couple to decide on.
What it doesn't provide is for one person to unilaterally neglect the other's needs, i.e. "cutting off".
("Cutting off" is NOT "Denial". Denial is a
sexual act. Denial is more about maintaining sexual arousal then providing sexual release.)
It's no secret that in some relationships, whether kinky, lifestyle or vanilla, some partners will choose to neglect the sexual needs of their mate. They will rationalize it with whatever excuse is convenient.
Though, when asked which of their needs is it acceptable for their partner to neglect (emotional, sexual, financial, etc) the answer is ALWAYS waffling or silence.
If you want a purely platonic relationship w/o the burden of making sure your mates sexual needs are met that's fine....but you don't need to be married or a couple for that.
B) Re: "risk always there of getting cutoff"
Bullshit.
Total. Bullshit.
I've said a million times people learn two things in all their relationships: (1) WHAT they think they can get away with, and then (2) HOW to get away with it.
My previous wife wanted monogamy. I won't rehash the whole story.
I was reasonable & accomodative but celibacy was not what either of us agreed upon. So SHE was broke our agreement as much as if I was fucking around on her (which I never did).
Long & short: Old agreement out. New open agreement if she "defaulted" on our original one. Gave her a reasonable time frame to decide. She could go back to what we agreed to, leave, or move forward w/ new agreement but no hostage taking.
Less than two weeks later we were doing every depraved thing we'd been doing before the failed "hostage taking" fiasco.
She LEARNED what she couldn't get away with and made new decisions based on that knowledge.
It's a bullshit false choice that one person gets to arbitrarily dictate the sex life of another individual.