Much of what turns us on is below the level of conscious choice.
I've actually spent some significant time wondering about the causes and what I get out of playing the role I do ... and what my girl gets from it as well.
In everyday life, we're a super straight white couple living an upper middle class life. I have created a business that is doing very well and poised to absolutely take off within the next 12 months. In that world, I'm in control, I call the shots, I take responsibility for the problems and get credit for the success. Not to brag, but an important element of all this is that I'm very good at what I do.
I live in a very "civilized" world.
There's something totally erotic about having that world flipped on its head ... having a black bull take total control. In that world, I'm not in control, I'm not good at what I do, I'm not even considered adequate as a man. What would be a profoundly intimate violation for most people turns out to be an intensely erotic experience for me ... AND my girl. Naked with my inadequacies exposed, her lusting after a cock that's twice my length and girth, spreading her legs as she clutches his ass to pull him in deeper. It's all about losing control ... having that control taken away ... in most vulnerable way.
There's a very primal, taboo and savage element to it ... that I crave.
Oh, and I guess I'd have to add another element. It turns me on to see some guy totally turned on, lusting and throbbing for my girl. She goes home with me ... she always will.
On her side, she loves playing the dirty little cheating slut. Knowing that I'm watching turns her on even more. She has also told me that even though we relinquish almost all control, that she still feels that SHE is ultimately in control of both him and me. Like marionettes, she plays us both.
And finally, I do love her. It's a simple fact that there are better physical lovers out there ... and I see no reason she shouldn't have that enjoyment.
