What is Happening to Me?

I appreciate all your replies. Was wondering if there were any other guys out there who have gone through this.
i've gone thru this, but for me it started with sort of crossdressing, when i was a teen i put some silk stockings on and my dick got so hard, also at a very young age i would get hard walking through the lingerie section of department stores. after a lingerie model gf moved out of my place, she left alot of stuff behind, i also have small feet, i really got into it & i started watching IR porn online, became addickted to it & was so hot & hungry for the huge Black COCKS!!! eventually i met a married Black Dom Bull Master online who thought i had a hot ass & very sexy legs. we eventually met at a secluded parking lot but my legs had to be shaven smooth & i had to be wearng garter belt, stockings, panties, high heels in the car & i would go down on his big thick beautiful Black cock & he forcibly trained me to deep throught. all the while verbally degrading & humiliating me. i became his steady paked car blowjob bitch & we met a few times at a motel where i got fully made up in my lingerie along with heavy make up & blonde bimbo wig. after he face fucked me , He anally raped my hot tight ass deep & hard, it hurt really bad but it was so hot how he used & dominated me & made me feel like a helpless little girl being raped , we met there several times & whenever he wanted to use me i would come running to him! i did all this while living a normal heterosexual lifestyle, witha gf & then marriage. you would not know this from looking at me. i'm very masculine in looks & manner, handsome & am still attracted to (HOT) women!
 
I'm not so sure if this is running along the lines of cuckolding of course I could be wrong but the definition of cuckolding is a husband who has a wife who fucks other men doesn't make him gay doesn't make him a weakling doesn't make him anything except he likes to see his wife have a good time
 
i've gone thru this, but for me it started with sort of crossdressing, when i was a teen i put some silk stockings on and my dick got so hard, also at a very young age i would get hard walking through the lingerie section of department stores. after a lingerie model gf moved out of my place, she left alot of stuff behind, i also have small feet, i really got into it & i started watching IR porn online, became addickted to it & was so hot & hungry for the huge Black COCKS!!! eventually i met a married Black Dom Bull Master online who thought i had a hot ass & very sexy legs. we eventually met at a secluded parking lot but my legs had to be shaven smooth & i had to be wearng garter belt, stockings, panties, high heels in the car & i would go down on his big thick beautiful Black cock & he forcibly trained me to deep throught. all the while verbally degrading & humiliating me. i became his steady paked car blowjob bitch & we met a few times at a motel where i got fully made up in my lingerie along with heavy make up & blonde bimbo wig. after he face fucked me , He anally raped my hot tight ass deep & hard, it hurt really bad but it was so hot how he used & dominated me & made me feel like a helpless little girl being raped , we met there several times & whenever he wanted to use me i would come running to him! i did all this while living a normal heterosexual lifestyle, witha gf & then marriage. you would not know this from looking at me. i'm very masculine in looks & manner, handsome & am still attracted to (HOT) women!
:qos:This is what Jungle FeVer does to a whiteboy..!:qos:
 
i've gone thru this, but for me it started with sort of crossdressing, when i was a teen i put some silk stockings on and my dick got so hard, also at a very young age i would get hard walking through the lingerie section of department stores. after a lingerie model gf moved out of my place, she left alot of stuff behind, i also have small feet, i really got into it & i started watching IR porn online, became addickted to it & was so hot & hungry for the huge Black COCKS!!! eventually i met a married Black Dom Bull Master online who thought i had a hot ass & very sexy legs. we eventually met at a secluded parking lot but my legs had to be shaven smooth & i had to be wearng garter belt, stockings, panties, high heels in the car & i would go down on his big thick beautiful Black cock & he forcibly trained me to deep throught. all the while verbally degrading & humiliating me. i became his steady paked car blowjob bitch & we met a few times at a motel where i got fully made up in my lingerie along with heavy make up & blonde bimbo wig. after he face fucked me , He anally raped my hot tight ass deep & hard, it hurt really bad but it was so hot how he used & dominated me & made me feel like a helpless little girl being raped , we met there several times & whenever he wanted to use me i would come running to him! i did all this while living a normal heterosexual lifestyle, witha gf & then marriage. you would not know this from looking at me. i'm very masculine in looks & manner, handsome & am still attracted to (HOT) women!
HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Yeah, I was there too...but I gave in to cock and now I suck as much as I can.....still not much...maybe 5 or 6 a year. If I had my choice it'd always be black cock but sometimes a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do and suck white cock.
Be careful, cocksucking is addictive...the first few years I always thought I'd get 'over' it but I haven't. In fact the more I suck the more I want.
I am insatiable right now I cant get enoughi get upset if i can only get 5b a week i want that number daily and size i want them as big as i can get. I followed my first all arount the theater begging for more. i am getting off on all aspects of this I do as im told I sucked my exgfs fathers cock helping turn him out. Im dick hungry all the time. i want to suck black cock in front of my ex. I dont care who anyone in her family. i feel wreckless and i lust and crave for it.
 
It all comes down to the forbidden fruit. So much being said to keep us from sampling, tasting that fruit. And then the first taste and it's not bad at all. In fact it so good that all you could think of was the next taste. You try to resist, try to stay on the path, try to heed and obey all you've been told. But that genie is out of the bottle and it will never go back in. The first became the second and then the third. Now ten or twenty... or thirty. How many did it take before you realized that is what you want more than anything else....
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