I'm sure you will. We aren't into humiliation-type activities either.
My hubby has never watched me, but if he ever wanted to, the guy I most recently have been playing with would be fine with him watching, and would not treat him with any disrespect. If I can find one, they must exist. You may have to be very specific in stating upfront what you're not willing to put up with, but it is not impossible. And stick to your guns. If the guy says he will abide by your wishes, and then crosses the line, tell him that playtime is over. Do NOT put up with anyone forsing you beyond the limits that YOU and YOUR HUSBAND set TOGETHER.
Good luck!