The Why Behind The Why

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DDDebbie, May 22, 2016.

  1. DDDebbie

    DDDebbie Active Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    US
    I had sex with my neighbor, who happens to be black. That led to me having sex with him and both of his room mates. By reading posts on this site, It appears that a good number of people have sex with black men because of the size of their cocks. As a woman, I have to say that there is a why behind the why.

    I am married and a Christian. I have morals but, I also have needs. I have been monogamous with my husband for almost ten years now, and I thought I was okay with it. I have experienced feelings I had forgotten I could feel by cheating on my husband. And I feel guilty but needed and wanted at the same time. This is why I am so confused right now.

    I love my husband more than the world but, the sex I had with my neighbors made me feel again, really feel. I'm torn between feelings. I know what I have done is wrong but, in the same light, I feel being needed and wanted is not a bad thing. Maybe I am being used. Maybe I'm the user. I don't know. I do know that what I've done I will do again.

    There is a closeness you only feel when you are sexual with someone. And the connection is more than just physical. It is mental, emotional and physical, as well as spiritual. When I was with my neighbor and his roommates at the same time, it was surreal. It was almost magical how it made me feel. I admit that feeling a man inside you that fills you, and more, is a feeling that encompasses your whole being. The rest of the world disappears.

    I can't say that my motivation to have sex with my black neighbor was because he was black. It was because of how I felt with him, and how he made me feel when he was with me that mattered. I can't say that I have a thing for black men but, I can say that I have a thing for the black men that live next door to me. They've made me feel sexy again, wanted, attractive, worth loving.

    Do I feel guilty for cheating on my husband? Yes. Is what I'm doing wrong? Yes. The thing is that I don't think wanting to feel attractive and wanted is wrong. I want to give and receive love. I want to be loved. I want a man to touch me and kiss me and make me feel like a man should make a woman feel. And my husband doesn't do that. The three men that live next door all kissed me, with tongue, and caressed me and made me feel worth loving. I NEED that.

    Although my husband loves me, and tells me so, often, I don't feel that love. My neighbors made me feel loved again. And I NEED that. I'm not cheating on my husband because I don't love him. I do. To me, cheating is supplimenting my marriage. The fact that my neighbors are black is inconsequential. Do I like that they have amazing bodies? Yes. Do I like that they make me feel things no one else ever has? Yes. Am I okay with all of this? Not yet. I think I may be trying to rationalize what I am doing.
     
  2. whiteknight4QofS

    whiteknight4QofS Active Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks for sharing!
     
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  3. BabyfacedRebel

    BabyfacedRebel New Member

    Gender:
    Male



    Thanks for sharing your story, if indeed what you say is true I do hope you come to terms with your situation. If I may I'd like to share my own opinion and offer a suggestion.

    I don't think it's wrong to feel needed and wanted, but I do think you not being honest with your husband is deceitful.

    I also think that we all can't expect our life partners to be all things to us, that too much of a responsibility. That being said I think If he really loves you and is open minded he will let you have your fun.
     
  4. intrepidcouple

    intrepidcouple Active Member

    Gender:
    Couple
    Thank you for sharing and I hope the conflict you’re going through will be resolved quickly.
     
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  5. TwoBiFour

    TwoBiFour Well-Known Member Gold Member

    Gender:
    Couple
    Country:
    US
    I assure you, your not alone. Thanks
     
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  6. rock

    rock Well-Known Member

    Gender:
    Couple
    Country:
    US
    Debbie, I was pretty much in your situation when I cheated on my husband. I loved him but I had been faking orgasms
    for a few years. He took good care of me and our kids but I was not sexually satisfied and at that time I really needed that badly. It made me feel wanted, it made me feel sexy again, in other words it made me accept my husbands shortcomings because I knew I could do something about it if I wanted too.

    Luv
    Phyliss
     
  7. DDDebbie

    DDDebbie Active Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    US
    A lot has happened since my original post. My husband has watched me with all three of the men that live next door to us, and some of their friends. I let my husband know what I was doing because it was something he had said he desired for a long time. I felt guilty for enjoying myself. And now I am doing it because I enjoy it, and it pleases my husband. My husband and I are closer now than we ever have been. We communicate more, and we have a lot more to talk about. And . . . the main man I have been having sex with the most, that lives next door to us, went to church with us this last Sunday morning.

    The fact that my lover went to church with us said a lot to me, about us and God's hand in all of this. Many of the men we know well introduced themselves to my lover but, many more women from the church made it a point to introduce themselves to him. I hadn't even noticed that my lover had his arm around me until I noticed another one of the men we know noticing. It just felt so natural to have my lover with me and my husband.

    The sermon this last Sunday was about entering the narrow gate. What our pastor was saying is that many will think they are going to heaven, because they have followed the teachings of their leaders but, few actually hear the true word and enter where few do. I think that God has led me to the narrow gate and I have entered it. When we left church, my lover told me that he was glad he went with us, and he felt the message, not only heard it but, felt it.

    We have a Suburban. My husband drove us home, and me and my lover snuggled in the second seat together. I could see my husband smiling in the rear view mirror, and I knew that all was good. I will admit that I have come to be more comfortable making love with our neighbors and their friends, especially when my husband is there to watch. I do not feel that what I am doing could be considered adultery. I know that, by definition, me having sex with other men is adultery but, what became of me having sex with my neighbor? He went to church with us. And he felt the message.

    When we got home, my lover asked me if I wanted to make love to him again, and with his two roommates. And I said yes. I knew I wanted it, and I knew my husband wanted to witness me in ecstacy. My lover, his two roommates and one of their friends made love to me for about two and a half hours, and the entire time I felt closer to my husband and to God because of it. I have come to realize that this was God's design. I had felt guilty for no reason at all. I prayed to God nightly for a sign that what I was doing was in his favor, and when my lover asked me if he could go to church with us, I knew that this was God's idea. It is said that few will pass through the narrow gate but, I hope that I am right, and that I have.
     
  8. Pale Tim

    Pale Tim New Member

    Gender:
    Male
    That is a touching story, Debbie.

    I like the fact that instead of separating sex and emotion, you see them as a unified whole. The intense experiences you have had with your black neighbor and his roomates were not physical gratification devoid of feeling, but rather represented sexual joy combined with a spiritual joy. It is entirely understandable that you would crave an intense emotional experience like the one your black neighbors have given you; an experience that your white husband isn't capable of giving you.

    Much of what you have said reminds me of how my wife describes sex with her black lover. It is extremely intense physically; she has made no secret that with him she has had the most intense and the most frequent orgasms of her life. She delights in his body, in the strength that he exudes, in the very impressive size of his manhood, and in his deep, sexy voice. Yet like you, she is equally thrilled with how her black lover makes her feel. She has described in detail how he makes her feel wanted and desired. She has gushed about how proud she is to have a lover like him. And she has made it clear that being with him is, quite simply, wonderful.

    For me, it is of course rather humiliating to have to admit that another man makes my wife feel this good. I certainly wish that I could show her the kind of joy that he does. Yet, I am glad to know that she is able to have such intense sexual experiences. There is no doubt in my mind that her relationship with her black lover has changed her life profoundly; indeed it has changed both our lives.

    I was particularly interested to see that you took your black lover to church with you. I can only guess at how exciting it must have been for you to be there, among people you know, with your lover and your husband. I was also happy to hear that your husband seems to have accepted how things have changed.

    I hope that you will be able to continue having an interracial relationship.
     
  9. DDDebbie

    DDDebbie Active Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    US
    You should feel proud that you have what it takes to be a cuckold, a man who knows what pleases his wife and allows it. There is nothing humiliating about letting your wife have the best sex of her life. It says you LOVE her.

    Most men let pride get in the way of their wife experiencing fulfilling sex with another man or other men. You should be proud of yourself for allowing something most men wouldn't allow. And the smile on your wife's face, as another man or men, enters her should tell you that what you allowed she appreciates and loves you more because of it.

    Most men don't take the time to enhance their relationships. And the wife is left wondering how much she really means to her husband. By allowing another man, or other men, to make love to your wife, she knows you truly love her.

    It takes a very special man to allow another man, or other men, to do for his wife what he can't. And that kind of man is the kind of man that a wife loves and other men wish their wife was more like. Even many bulls will tell you that they wouldn't share their wife, but you did.

    You've proven your love to your wife by allowing another man to do for her what you can't. Now you have to let her prove her love to you by allowing herself to enjoy this other man, possibly other men.
     
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  10. BethLuvsBBConly

    BethLuvsBBConly Well-Known Member Gold Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Personally, I can relate completely. I did not know what intense sexual pleasure was until my first black man. that was 12 years ago and I continue to have the sex I craved but never had. Fortunately, my hubby was always the cuckold type and preferred watching me, then trying to perform sexually. Like you I love my hubby, but I need my black BF for sex.
     
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