I had sex with my neighbor, who happens to be black. That led to me having sex with him and both of his room mates. By reading posts on this site, It appears that a good number of people have sex with black men because of the size of their cocks. As a woman, I have to say that there is a why behind the why. I am married and a Christian. I have morals but, I also have needs. I have been monogamous with my husband for almost ten years now, and I thought I was okay with it. I have experienced feelings I had forgotten I could feel by cheating on my husband. And I feel guilty but needed and wanted at the same time. This is why I am so confused right now. I love my husband more than the world but, the sex I had with my neighbors made me feel again, really feel. I'm torn between feelings. I know what I have done is wrong but, in the same light, I feel being needed and wanted is not a bad thing. Maybe I am being used. Maybe I'm the user. I don't know. I do know that what I've done I will do again. There is a closeness you only feel when you are sexual with someone. And the connection is more than just physical. It is mental, emotional and physical, as well as spiritual. When I was with my neighbor and his roommates at the same time, it was surreal. It was almost magical how it made me feel. I admit that feeling a man inside you that fills you, and more, is a feeling that encompasses your whole being. The rest of the world disappears. I can't say that my motivation to have sex with my black neighbor was because he was black. It was because of how I felt with him, and how he made me feel when he was with me that mattered. I can't say that I have a thing for black men but, I can say that I have a thing for the black men that live next door to me. They've made me feel sexy again, wanted, attractive, worth loving. Do I feel guilty for cheating on my husband? Yes. Is what I'm doing wrong? Yes. The thing is that I don't think wanting to feel attractive and wanted is wrong. I want to give and receive love. I want to be loved. I want a man to touch me and kiss me and make me feel like a man should make a woman feel. And my husband doesn't do that. The three men that live next door all kissed me, with tongue, and caressed me and made me feel worth loving. I NEED that. Although my husband loves me, and tells me so, often, I don't feel that love. My neighbors made me feel loved again. And I NEED that. I'm not cheating on my husband because I don't love him. I do. To me, cheating is supplimenting my marriage. The fact that my neighbors are black is inconsequential. Do I like that they have amazing bodies? Yes. Do I like that they make me feel things no one else ever has? Yes. Am I okay with all of this? Not yet. I think I may be trying to rationalize what I am doing.