The sexless marriage (less than 10x per year)

[hungteacher]

I didnt know that was jumping the gun, I found this site after buying the black dildo

@Mj2008 ok let me simplify this for you.
1. you stopped having sex with your wife
2. you bought her a black dildo
3. you found this site
4. you are asking for advice

#4 should have been your first decision, and what do you want advice on? your wife isn't going to fulfill your fantasy if you are withholding sex from her for no reason. think about it - you aren't making very intelligent decisions.

 

[Mj2008]

Yes, well put, I shoukd have looked for advise first, our sexlive was somewhat boring, all the while i always woukd think of her with a black man,

 

[Mj2008]

I was looking for advise on taken next steps toward her being with black men sexually

 

[Larry48]

Wow...really great thread.

 

[hungteacher]

Wow...really great thread.

@Larry48 thanks.. i try to help when and where i can

 

[Larry48]

I appreciate what your doing...I have my own issues with my partner but over the years I have learned to handle whatever comes up between us. She really does not like this lifestyle, but as long as I don't let it come in between us and just keep it to when I travel or out of town we seem to be ok.

 

[hungteacher]

@Larry48 what I've found is that most wives just want honesty from their husbands and unfortunately most husbands just lie, lie, lie.

they want sex...maybe not with you, but they want sex.

 

[Larry48]

You make a good point...when I was in the military I was away from home and overseas a lot. She gave me the green light to do what I needed when it came to sex, we have never talked about it but she would not have let me do anything if she had not been sampling while I was overseas. I was always gone for months at a time and sometimes almost a year. I did go into the lifestyle then and when I was single I was in it on a regular basis. Now it is just occasionally, but still fun. So far we are doing good.

 

[hungteacher]

so who does she fuck then?

 

[Larry48]

No idea...we are still fucking on a regular basis and neither of us has asked the other. Last talk we had was basically to say make sure you never bring it into the house or miss something important. To be honest I am curious but since she has not really pushed me for information I have done the same.

 

[PageantMom]

My husband is another once-a-monther. But I take my ******* to pageants and modeling assignments most weekends and I'm always able to find a friend for the night

 

[mikecd50]

I haven't had sex with my wife in years now, she told me I wasn't satisfying her.
we still sleep in the same bed but I now have trouble getting hard it's just part of being a diabetic so it looks like we will just have to accept sex is a thing of the past

 

[Mj2008]

Its great hearing eveyones honesty in this lifestyle

 

[Larry48]

No relationship is perfect...we just all do what we must to make it work.

 

[spin419]

@Sarah Adams you are not alone according to all the research and stats. I have helped several couples where the husband had ED.

"helped".........I'll bet you have. Very cool, too.

 

[hungteacher]

"helped".........I'll bet you have. Very cool, too.

@spin419 I'm taking your comment as tongue in cheek. lol. But seriously, thank you for the positive nod. I am a married lover/bull/teacher/sex coach/trainer....whatever label you want to put on me. But because I'm married, I truly do understand the issues that couples face. If you think that my relationship and sex life is all roses, that isn't true. But what makes my marriage work and my sex life work is that my wife can talk to me, tell me her fantasies and we work on them. I have the sexual skills and talents in the bedroom to make them a reality. Not all husbands and men have the equipment or the skill to please their wives...so should we shun them for it? No, I don't personally think we should. But at least in America, if a man can't please his wife, he's not considered very useful at all.

I disagree. I think a husband, if stripped, of his sexual duties, can be extremely useful. Just my 2 cents.

 

[jane mintu]

@Larry48 what I've found is that most wives just want honesty from their husbands and unfortunately most husbands just lie, lie, lie.

they want sex...maybe not with you, but they want sex.

Point/s taken. Sex is a hard thing to talk about for many people. and peoples needs change and evolve over time......

 

[jane mintu]

I recently published a blog post on reddit about sexless marriages.

If you are interested in reading it, https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/4n2pvc/how_to_improve_your_sexless_marriage_less_than/

But the interesting thing are the comments that I receive from the post. I did not expect the number of women that were positive about the post - that they felt "trapped" in the marriage and didnt know what to do because their husbands seemed completely uninterested in sex with them.

I am open to chatting with anyone about this issue.

thanks..link works but Redit discontinued it.....

 

[jane mintu]

Ten times a year with my husband would be a great year. But he has a bad ED problem and rarely gets an erection. I think the problem is from some of the medications he has to take. So he is lucky if he can get an erection twice a year. Even then he has a hard time maintaining it.

soo sorry......

 

[spin419]

@spin419 I'm taking your comment as tongue in cheek. lol. But seriously, thank you for the positive nod. I am a married lover/bull/teacher/sex coach/trainer....whatever label you want to put on me. But because I'm married, I truly do understand the issues that couples face. If you think that my relationship and sex life is all roses, that isn't true. But what makes my marriage work and my sex life work is that my wife can talk to me, tell me her fantasies and we work on them. I have the sexual skills and talents in the bedroom to make them a reality. Not all husbands and men have the equipment or the skill to please their wives...so should we shun them for it? No, I don't personally think we should. But at least in America, if a man can't please his wife, he's not considered very useful at all.

I disagree. I think a husband, if stripped, of his sexual duties, can be extremely useful. Just my 2 cents.

What about the husband who suspects he wouldn't mind just occasionally relinquishing those responsibilities?