some advice, cold feet

[mikeandlia]

Hi folks, figured I found the right place 2 ask for this kind of advice!
So, a little over a year ago, my wife and I decided we'd judgement free, do each other's fantasy. I got 2 go first, and I asked for anal sex, which we never did and it was granted. Then, my wife, as you might have guesses, said she wanted 2 be fucked by a black guy... I realized after, my request might have been a little tame... Anyway, a few months later, after a lot of talking, we create a dating profile on okcupid, and say we're a couple with this fantasy. She agreed I'd have 2 be there. I swear in less than 48 hours there's easily 40 messages. She picks her favorite and in just a couple days, we set up a no strings attached date at a hotel a city over, where this guy is from. Now I'm not actually in 2 watching so much, my reason for being there is 2 make sure she's safe. The guy is younger, 22, my wife 26, he seems a little immature in person, my wife doesn't care. We had ground rules in place beforehand, no openmouthed kissing, must wear condom, nothing rough... The guy was very polite I suppose, and my wife enjoyed it. I was bothered at first, but it was hot watching her so turned on... i should mention our sex is at least as good, just i'm not black. Afterwards, she thanks me and told me she thought I wouldn't go through with it. Our sex life improved a bit and she even offered anal every now and then. We barely mentioned the encounter after and she seems over it. Somewhere inbetween we stopped using birth control and were semi trying 2 get pregnant. A few months ago, she gets pregnant, we're happy. We start having lots of sex, I even find myself unable 2 keep up some days, but I'm thrilled. A couple weeks ago, she tells me that she was thinking about doing her fantasy properly, when i asked, she said it didn't really count because of the condom and her fantasy was actually 2 have sex the way we do, where i finish inside her... when I tell her that's cheating, she brings up all the anal we've had, how horny she's been and the one or two times I did't give her what she wanted. She said now that she's pregant, we don't have to worry once the guy is tested... obviously. I'm wondering if there aare any other guys with similar experiences... where it isn't the guy's kink, and it's this extreme... she wants 2 fuck a guy unprotected and let him come inside her. She tells me I don't have to be there... but that's a bluff... I don't want 2 be a jerk and forbid her... I really wasn't bothered by the way things happened that first time, but this request has bothered me quite a bit... is that fair? is there really a difference at this point? Any advice or opinions are wecome! Cheers

(Edit: when I said “cheating” I meant cheating our agreement, not infidelity.)

 

[FFGH5]

Never been in your shoes but. My thinking is once she allowed another guy to have sex with her the door was opened so to speak. Her request to now have sex bareback because she can’t get pregnant is a normal desire just like when you wanted to fuck her without a rubber. Just my thoughts. Phil

 

[Stlcouple0701]

If you deny her she will probably do it anyways. Might as well enjoy the show

 

[housewifenheat]

She has had a taste of a Black man. It is natural for her to want more. She will continue to have this fantasy of having a Black man bareback in her. It is up to both of you to talk it through and see where things go. The thing is once you have opened the door to another person, you can't really slam that door closed.

 

[MacNfries]

this request has bothered me quite a bit... is that fair? is there really a difference at this point? Any advice or opinions are welcome!

.....So, the fact the two of you used a condom the first time seemed to be ok, but, bareback is a totally different thing? This is your particular parameter on this activity. It doesn't sound like the two of you set parameters to begin with, right? What IS your concern, disease?
.....My concern would be more regarding injuring the baby than anything. This is your first baby ... should she miscarry while doing this activity, the two of you will never forgive yourselves. Take into consideration that black males are somewhat more gifted, if you get hold of one that is well hung, 9+", that's a lot of knocking around in an area already occupied. Personally, I'd totally abstain ... condoms or not until well after that baby gets here, and I'm thinking you have the same opinion to a degree. The two of you need to start thinking in terms of 3 of you now, not just two.

 

[mikeandlia]

Never been in your shoes but. My thinking is once she allowed another guy to have sex with her the door was opened so to speak. Her request to now have sex bareback because she can’t get pregnant is a normal desire just like when you wanted to fuck her without a rubber. Just my thoughts. Phil

That’s true although, it’s different for us. If I fucked someone else, I’d probably wear a condom, even though I prefer without. There’s pregnancy and disease. And as far as parameters, the only thing she left out was finishing inside. That more our thing when she came off birth control and we were okay with getting pregnant. I guess she really got in2 that and wants it retrospectively. In talking about it she didn’t think of doing it again, until a few weeks in2 the pregnancy when she was horny all the time... no morning sickness just sex, dr sort of suggested when we beat around the bush about it that increased desire can happen, so yay. When I’m not around, she’s watched porn and masrurbated, which I think is awesome and I guess the idea came back... I guess it wasn’t on her mind all this time. M&L

 

[mikeandlia]

If you deny her she will probably do it anyways. Might as well enjoy the show

I know the stories, she’s absolutely not like that and neither am I. We can talk about anything and if she doesn’t want me 2 do something I don’t and vice versa. If she wanted 2 do it and went ahead, first she’d tell me and I’d have to deal with it, but she’d essentially be giving me permission 2 do the same, one I told her. She wouldn’t want that, so it’s up for discussion. Also as for the show, I’d enjoy more 2 tape it and watch it with her after than sit in the room and watch. I’d have 2 sit just outside though, because she’d want me close.

 

[mikeandlia]

She has had a taste of a Black man. It is natural for her to want more. She will continue to have this fantasy of having a Black man bareback in her. It is up to both of you to talk it through and see where things go. The thing is once you have opened the door to another person, you can't really slam that door closed.

I get the fantasy, it’s why I came here 2 ask. Maybe some people go bananas for something they couldn’t experience before or it was once taboo or something. I know denying something always makes it seem more appealing. And the reason I was okay with the first time, I’m confident with myself. She obviously enjoyed it, but I think it was less amazing than the imagination’s version. I suppose I might need 2 nite the bullet and let it happen. I’ll make sure 2 make a grand request for myself this time around. Any suggestions?

 

[mikeandlia]

.....So, the fact the two of you used a condom the first time seemed to be ok, but, bareback is a totally different thing? This is your particular parameter on this activity. It doesn't sound like the two of you set parameters to begin with, right? What IS your concern, disease?
.....My concern would be more regarding injuring the baby than anything. This is your first baby ... should she miscarry while doing this activity, the two of you will never forgive yourselves. Take into consideration that black males are somewhat more gifted, if you get hold of one that is well hung, 9+", that's a lot of knocking around in an area already occupied. Personally, I'd totally abstain ... condoms or not until well after that baby gets here, and I'm thinking you have the same opinion to a degree. The two of you need to start thinking in terms of 3 of you now, not just two.
View attachment 2066502

First of all, I think some anatomy is important. No penis, no matter how big, can get through the cervix, believe me I know first hand. The uterus will be occupied, by something smaller than a grape, and her vagina, is not occupied by a anything. Second of all, the doctor reassured us that the frequency was fine, there are just some guidelines obviously which we follow and anyone else would HAVE to follow. Honestly “safety” was my backup excuse, but the obgyn shot that one down right away.
We’re both quite educated and like any responsible people consulted professionals for US obviously, but that info covers any safe partner. Which is a new parameter, that the guy has 2 have a recent, like a week old, clean bill of health. She and I both settled on that much.


“Ignorance is very common.”

 

[ArcticVixen]

I really like the respect you have towards each other and your wishes, and the communication. My opinion is that recent testpapers are even better than condoms (if on b.control, or in your situation): since there are risk of diseases in oral too (though smaller). About your request: how about the taping and some requests for her to do whilst taping, what you would enjoy see them doing? ...Or if that is not your thing, then doing the same setting for you, a change to play with a girl of you chose?

 

[FFGH5]

I would go ahead an have her bareback the guy an he can cum in her ONLY if he is clean with recent test. Like you said within the last week. I would watch it as it happens an tape it for future viewing

 

[MacNfries]

think some anatomy is important. No penis, no matter how big, can get through the cervix

Now where did I say or even imply that? I was simply suggesting that as the womb expands with baby growth, a large penis bumping the womb with sexual activity could cause a problem. Sorry ... this is your story, however.

 

[zvega]

I get the fantasy, it’s why I came here 2 ask. Maybe some people go bananas for something they couldn’t experience before or it was once taboo or something. I know denying something always makes it seem more appealing. And the reason I was okay with the first time, I’m confident with myself. She obviously enjoyed it, but I think it was less amazing than the imagination’s version. I suppose I might need 2 nite the bullet and let it happen. I’ll make sure 2 make a grand request for myself this time around. Any suggestions?

"I’ll make sure 2 make a grand request for myself this time around. Any suggestions?"

has your wife ever made love to another woman? if not, and if that's a hot thing for you to watch your wife engage in, then that's your next
grand request...if she wants a black man to put his sperm in her cunt, then she has to make out with a woman and eat pussy.

How does that sound?

 

[WillandSusn]

.....So, the fact the two of you used a condom the first time seemed to be ok, but, bareback is a totally different thing? This is your particular parameter on this activity. It doesn't sound like the two of you set parameters to begin with, right? What IS your concern, disease?
.....My concern would be more regarding injuring the baby than anything. This is your first baby ... should she miscarry while doing this activity, the two of you will never forgive yourselves. Take into consideration that black males are somewhat more gifted, if you get hold of one that is well hung, 9+", that's a lot of knocking around in an area already occupied. Personally, I'd totally abstain ... condoms or not until well after that baby gets here, and I'm thinking you have the same opinion to a degree. The two of you need to start thinking in terms of 3 of you now, not just two.
View attachment 2066502

Yes. Good advice. ( Baby )

 

[WillandSusn]

First of all, I think some anatomy is important. No penis, no matter how big, can get through the cervix, believe me I know first hand. The uterus will be occupied, by something smaller than a grape, and her vagina, is not occupied by a anything. Second of all, the doctor reassured us that the frequency was fine, there are just some guidelines obviously which we follow and anyone else would HAVE to follow. Honestly “safety” was my backup excuse, but the obgyn shot that one down right away.
We’re both quite educated and like any responsible people consulted professionals for US obviously, but that info covers any safe partner. Which is a new parameter, that the guy has 2 have a recent, like a week old, clean bill of health. She and I both settled on that much.


“Ignorance is very common.”

Doesn't change. MACs original premise. Something happens to the baby and how are you both feeling then. Yes LOTS of pregnant women still have sex and some with black men and some are already pregnant by their black lovers. But not you yet

 

[WillandSusn]

Hi folks, figured I found the right place 2 ask for this kind of advice!
So, a little over a year ago, my wife and I decided we'd judgement free, do each other's fantasy. I got 2 go first, and I asked for anal sex, which we never did and it was granted. Then, my wife, as you might have guesses, said she wanted 2 be fucked by a black guy... I realized after, my request might have been a little tame... Anyway, a few months later, after a lot of talking, we create a dating profile on okcupid, and say we're a couple with this fantasy. She agreed I'd have 2 be there. I swear in less than 48 hours there's easily 40 messages. She picks her favorite and in just a couple days, we set up a no strings attached date at a hotel a city over, where this guy is from. Now I'm not actually in 2 watching so much, my reason for being there is 2 make sure she's safe. The guy is younger, 22, my wife 26, he seems a little immature in person, my wife doesn't care. We had ground rules in place beforehand, no openmouthed kissing, must wear condom, nothing rough... The guy was very polite I suppose, and my wife enjoyed it. I was bothered at first, but it was hot watching her so turned on... i should mention our sex is at least as good, just i'm not black. Afterwards, she thanks me and told me she thought I wouldn't go through with it. Our sex life improved a bit and she even offered anal every now and then. We barely mentioned the encounter after and she seems over it. Somewhere inbetween we stopped using birth control and were semi trying 2 get pregnant. A few months ago, she gets pregnant, we're happy. We start having lots of sex, I even find myself unable 2 keep up some days, but I'm thrilled. A couple weeks ago, she tells me that she was thinking about doing her fantasy properly, when i asked, she said it didn't really count because of the condom and her fantasy was actually 2 have sex the way we do, where i finish inside her... when I tell her that's cheating, she brings up all the anal we've had, how horny she's been and the one or two times I did't give her what she wanted. She said now that she's pregant, we don't have to worry once the guy is tested... obviously. I'm wondering if there aare any other guys with similar experiences... where it isn't the guy's kink, and it's this extreme... she wants 2 fuck a guy unprotected and let him come inside her. She tells me I don't have to be there... but that's a bluff... I don't want 2 be a jerk and forbid her... I really wasn't bothered by the way things happened that first time, but this request has bothered me quite a bit... is that fair? is there really a difference at this point? Any advice or opinions are wecome! Cheers

(Edit: when I said “cheating” I meant cheating our agreement, not infidelity.)

Hello Mike , well you opened "Pandoras" box. ( BBC ) and she liked it. But the condom kept her from bareback and skin to skin and him comong inside her. So now she wants that. Not really a huge surprise here. So the real question becomes now or later because she is already headed down this road. Ie SHE wants it. My thoughts are something for her after first baby is born. Black guys get turned on by white women who have new babys and are breast feeding. Women who have recovered from the birth still have lots of hormones floating in their body and are super horney for sex. Seems like something that she will do sooner or later and perhaps many times in the years ahead. Like so many wives now.

 

[mikeandlia]

I really like the respect you have towards each other and your wishes, and the communication. My opinion is that recent testpapers are even better than condoms (if on b.control, or in your situation): since there are risk of diseases in oral too (though smaller). About your request: how about the taping and some requests for her to do whilst taping, what you would enjoy see them doing? ...Or if that is not your thing, then doing the same setting for you, a change to play with a girl of you chose?

Yes. The biggest risk is STI, and she’s worried about that too obviously. She seems a lot more turned on by the idea than REALLY wanting 2 do it, but she says there is definitely actual desire. An STI can complicate things, but if anything we’d obviously make the results a must and definitely get 2 know the person 2 gauge trustworthiness.
And because I’ve been thinking about it I thought of a black girl, in talking with Li. Some of the interracial we’ve watched was white guys with black girls, the contrast is sexy I’ll admit (I mean both ways).
Maybe my curiosity has a awakened too.

 

[mikeandlia]

I would go ahead an have her bareback the guy an he can cum in her ONLY if he is clean with recent test. Like you said within the last week. I would watch it as it happens an tape it for future viewing

Yeah, safety is te number one priority. Some of the replies seem 2 be worried about physical harm and have completely ignored disease which is dangerous to anyone, pregnant or not.
We’ve been talking about it more playfully now and I guess I’m not as bothered, since it is a lot of fantasy. A tape might be more fun than I originally thought.

 

[mikeandlia]

Now where did I say or even imply that? I was simply suggesting that as the womb expands with baby growth, a large penis bumping the womb with sexual activity could cause a problem. Sorry ... this is your story, however.

U obviously meant it by saying that “well hung” black guys can hurt the baby because of a bigger penis. That’s ridiculous because u still seem to think that “bumping on the womb” will cause problems, when bumping on the cervix is very uncomfortable , at least for most women. Again, I know this personally..... perhaps u have never gotten that painful response when u hit bottom on someone.... not fun.
Late third trimester sex becomes more of an issue because of hormones causing contractions, still not even because of ur baby trauma by penis theory, we r not even 2 the second trimester.
Seriously, educate yourself. Or talk 2 a doctor.

 

[mikeandlia]

"I’ll make sure 2 make a grand request for myself this time around. Any suggestions?"

has your wife ever made love to another woman? if not, and if that's a hot thing for you to watch your wife engage in, then that's your next
grand request...if she wants a black man to put his sperm in her cunt, then she has to make out with a woman and eat pussy.

How does that sound?

Haha that sounds fun, but she’s brought that up on her own before, I won’t use my wish on sumthin she might do on her own! As I said in another reply above, I thought 2 do my own interracial fling. She’s not against it but she’s more jealous than me and it’s cute.