804 ... have you ever considered just going to your local swinger clubs on a hospitality night to meet women that are really into the lifestyle? Virginia has quite a few ... these are local Richmond groups:
Virginia Friends
www.vafriendsonline.com
Central Virginia Swingers
www.groups.yahoo.com/group/cvaswingers
Here's the entire USA ...
http://www.swinglifestyle.com/swingers/clubs/
You should note that for single males, however, there is usually a small charge. If you take a female date, they usually let you in free. But you'll want to attend their hospitality night, to cut through all the BS internet crap ... good luck, too. Mac