My husband and I have been doing this for a couple of years. I have penetrative sex only with other men. When my husband and I make love, he uses his fingers, his tongue, and a variety of toys (BBC dildos, vibrators, anal beads, etc.) on me. Since August 2019, he has been caged most of the time, so that his orgasms from masturbation or (rarely) sex with other women are very tightly controlled by me.