Saying Goodbye

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by cagedforher, May 26, 2016.

  1. cagedforher

    cagedforher Active Member

    Gender:
    Couple
    Country:
    US
    This original message was sent to Staff Member @TopCat , who suggested we post it in a forum thread for all to read. As a young engaged couple, we are fortunate to have had the support of a few very special people at BtoW. We wish everyone here safe, honest, and fulfilling experiences. Thank you.

    Dear TopCat,

    Well, just when I thought we were making progress, we were discussing our situation last night--cuckolding, and her openly having other lovers--and she broke down. She admitted that the theory and reasons (biological and psychological) behind this lifestyle all make perfect sense to her and she endorses it/them, but when applied to her and us as a couple, she cannot resolve personal issues. She said she feels she will never be ready for the responsibility of adding another male to our dynamic. I think she was worried to tell me because she thought our relationship hinged on this idea of us being a cuckold couple/her having a Bull/boyfriend. She broke down crying, and said she thought I would love her less for not being as enlightened. I reassured her that my love is unconditional and all I ever wanted was for her to not feel forced to conform society's expectations of monogamy, especially since she has only ever been with me sexually.

    It was a wonderful night, actually. We bonded over the talk, the air was cleared, we made love, and it felt like we turned a corner, even if it meant closing a door on a potentially enlightening and fulfilling experience(s). I told her not to feel bad and that I respected her ability to entertain the idea, analyze it as thoroughly as we/she did, and her honest conclusions.

    I'm sorry to say that we will be closing our account here for good this time. You have been a wonderful person and expert to talk with, and your support of us and our path has reinforced the idea that, even if we never have any experiences with interracial cuckolding, the lifestyle and people within it are genuine and supportive.

    Perhaps someday, with more life experience, we will reconsider the option. For now, it seems best we focus on each other. We're going to be married in just about a month and I am happy we had these past few months to explore our thoughts and emotions with you and the BtoW community.

    Wishing you the very best in your life, love, and pursuits. We will save your contact info, should we ever need to turn to a true friend for advice.

    Thank you for everything, TopCat.

    Warm Wishes,
    J and E
     
  2. BethLuvsBBConly

    BethLuvsBBConly Well-Known Member Gold Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Good for you for being supportive of her decision. The life-style is not for everyone. Hold her, love her, be supportive!
     
  3. TopCat

    TopCat Moderator Staff Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Country:
    US
    J and E,

    It is very unfortunate that you are leaving b2w and you both will be truly missed. I really enjoyed our many conversations and hope I provided you with good advice. Since being here, you have been very active on the site showing great interest in IR and made many valuable contributions to various threads throughout the site, and gained some valuable knowledge along the way.

    No worries, people change their mind all the time and maybe one day when things settle down, you may decide to reconsider. There is a lot of influence here and you can easily be overwhelmed by it but you both are intelligent enough to know what is best for you at this time.

    I don't claim myself as an expert in IR but enjoy sharing with others what I know from decades of experience. You're both young, intelligent and have a very bright future in front of you with many things to experience, challenge, and conquer.

    Thank you for your support J and E and I will always keep you on my mind as wonderful and important people. I hope the very best for you. Continue to take good care of each other.

    Sincerely,
    TopCat. :)
     
    #3 TopCat, May 27, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2016
    lkg4fun, Kuno, wifega and 3 others like this.
  4. bm_from_southjersey

    bm_from_southjersey Administrator Staff Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Country:
    US
    @cagedforher

    Congratulations on reaching a consensus agreement that works for the both of you, and more importantly, one that firmly cements your bond to each other. Best wishes for a long, happy life together.
     
    lkg4fun, Kuno, wifega and 3 others like this.
  5. valentina81

    valentina81 Active Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    Russia

    Absolutely. Couldnt put it better.
     
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  6. Torpedo

    Torpedo Well-Known Member Gold Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Not everyone is cut from the same cloth. The ideal relationship is whatever works for the participants. I hope you each bring joy to each thers life for many years
     
    TopCat and bm_from_southjersey like this.
  7. jdflacpl

    jdflacpl Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Couple
    Country:
    US
    as long as both are in agreement I can understand your decision
     
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  8. waynerobertson

    waynerobertson Active Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Country:
    US
    I and everyone else wish you both ALL the happiness in the world. You will be missed by those who valued you.
     
    bm_from_southjersey and TopCat like this.
  9. Ann4BBC

    Ann4BBC Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    UK
    Well done on talking about all this and choosing the best option for you both at this time. That's what this should be all about, choosing what sexy fun is best for any couple. For some it's seeing the lady with a black guy, others it's both in swinging clubs, others BDSM together, for others just simply enjoying each other as you are.
    Best of luck to you both, Ann X
     
    TopCat likes this.