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new :)

Hi guys I'm new to this
I'm white young n good looking n neva had any problem getting women.
A few months ago I split up with the gf as she got drunk n slept with a black guy at a party.
I was so angry, but the more I thought about it the more it turned me on. I looked on the internet and saw all about cucks. I think I deff am 1, the whole thing excites me. I always get this feeling that its kinda shameful? Is that normal