New blog entry :-)

[Mariposa blanca]

Hi folks,

A new blog entry just went up. The topic is labels/ name-calling. And, yes, this site was definite inspiration, as it has been for many of my entries.

If you check it out, I hope you enjoy.

http://girltalkwithmariposablanca.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-rose-by-any-other-name.html

Cheers,

Mari

 

[Torpedo]

Hi folks,

A new blog entry just went up. The topic is labels/ name-calling. And, yes, this site was definite inspiration, as it has been for many of my entries.

If you check it out, I hope you enjoy.

http://girltalkwithmariposablanca.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-rose-by-any-other-name.html

Cheers,

Mari

Nice post. I guess I never really thought of BBC as a negative label, but I do see your point. But as far as I can remember no one has ever referred to me as aBBC. I, of course, have heard the N word too many times and no one will use it twice in my bed.

 

[NowADaze]

Well, there's no such thing as a neutral label.

The issue I have in general with your train of thought is that it's too extreme/sensitive. Someone calling you a whore or a slut in bed is a huge insult? You're underselling context.

That said, I don't particularly care about convincing you of anything (and any other observations I share will assuredly sound like "insults) so I'll stop there.

 

[Mariposa blanca]

Nice post. I guess I never really thought of BBC as a negative label, but I do see your point. But as far as I can remember no one has ever referred to me as aBBC. I, of course, have heard the N word too many times and no one will use it twice in my bed.

Thanks, Torpedo! And that is another label that I would never use!!

 

[Mariposa blanca]

Well, there's no such thing as a neutral label.

The issue I have in general with your train of thought is that it's too extreme/sensitive. Someone calling you a whore or a slut in bed is a huge insult? You're underselling context.

That said, I don't particularly care about convincing you of anything (and any other observations I share will assuredly sound like "insults) so I'll stop there.

You certainly have the right to your own opinion. I guess we just agree to disagree.

And anyway, some people click, others don't. We don't. That's life.

 

[NowADaze]

Agreed.

That said, just for the sake of posterity, ideas have sex. I posit that willingness to engage in polemic is an arbiter of open-mindedness, conscientiousness, and, resultingly, intelligence.

 

[Mariposa blanca]

Agreed.

That said, just for the sake of posterity, ideas have sex. I posit that willingness to engage in polemic is an arbiter of open-mindedness, conscientiousness, and, resultingly, intelligence.

Let me guess... You were on your high school debate team, right? And you love to argue just for argument's sake?

 

[NowADaze]

Not at all, actually.

I'm a Sagittarius. We are honest and blunt. It's rarely personal. I like words and getting to know what makes people tick.

I only speak when I have something to say, though. So more times than not I am quiet and observing.

 

[Torpedo]

Well, there's no such thing as a neutral label.

The issue I have in general with your train of thought is that it's too extreme/sensitive. Someone calling you a whore or a slut in bed is a huge insult? You're underselling context.

That said, I don't particularly care about convincing you of anything (and any other observations I share will assuredly sound like "insults) so I'll stop there.

I don't think calling someone a slut or whore is a trivial thing. If a person is OK with that then that's between the consenting adults. Some blacks refer to each other using the N word. But it sure as Hell isn't ever going to be acceptable around me. Part of getting along with others is to understand or at least try to understand them. If you want to be successful in bed you really need to understand your partners limitations

 

[Torpedo]

You certainly have the right to your own opinion. I guess we just agree to disagree.

And anyway, some people click, others don't. We don't. That's life.

Very astute observation, sometimes we just have to agree to disagree and walk away.

 

[trish6912]

For me, bein called names is a real turn-on. I AM a slut and a whore in bed for the man I'm with and like all sorts of namecalling and dirty talking. But I see men just bein referred to as BBC and I can't do that. Like your blog said, to me a man is more than just his dick and it's horribly disrespectful to talk about men like that. And the N word, I've never used it. I was taught better growing up. I've never been asked to by a man, to call him that, and I don't think I could. Maybe because I'm more a sub and some women are more dominant is why I'm like I am. I don't really get the cuckold thing either, treating your husbands like that. I could never treat my hub that way and those men that like to be made to be cuckolds kinda make me uncomfortable. So that's just me anyways.

 

[Mariposa blanca]

For me, bein called names is a real turn-on. I AM a slut and a whore in bed for the man I'm with and like all sorts of namecalling and dirty talking. But I see men just bein referred to as BBC and I can't do that. Like your blog said, to me a man is more than just his dick and it's horribly disrespectful to talk about men like that. And the N word, I've never used it. I was taught better growing up. I've never been asked to by a man, to call him that, and I don't think I could. Maybe because I'm more a sub and some women are more dominant is why I'm like I am. I don't really get the cuckold thing either, treating your husbands like that. I could never treat my hub that way and those men that like to be made to be cuckolds kinda make me uncomfortable. So that's just me anyways.

Trish, it sounds like we do share some common ground, at least as far as treatment of our guy is concerned. I guess my issue with the names "slut" and "whore" is a holdover from my teen years. I was brought up to be a "good girl", and my hubby was actually the first guy I was intimate with. When I was growing up, those were the worst things a girl could be called. It was never anything positive. That negative connotation is still with me.

 

[NowADaze]

I don't think calling someone a slut or whore is a trivial thing.

It isn't. Nor did I ever say it was.

For me, bein called names is a real turn-on. I AM a slut and a whore in bed for the man I'm with and like all sorts of namecalling and dirty talking. But I see men just bein referred to as BBC and I can't do that. Like your blog said, to me a man is more than just his dick and it's horribly disrespectful to talk about men like that. And the N word, I've never used it. I was taught better growing up. I've never been asked to by a man, to call him that, and I don't think I could. M

I've never been referred to as such, but I've been in scenarios where I felt like that's all I was. That rubs me the wrong way a little bit. But if I was verbally referred to as a big black cock in the heat of the moment? I'd have no qualms. If my partner said, "Fuck me with your big N-word dick!" No qualms there, either.

I had "moral" (I put "moral" in quotes because, imo, there's no such thing as morality in absolute terms) qualms about these so-called "dehumanizing" things when I met a woman who was into BDSM and got me into it.

I'm psychologically trained, so I can't help -- nor would I want to; it's fun! -- to read into things ("man cannot not communicate"). And for a while I was horrified: Oh my God, what am I doing to this woman?

But then I looked at it from another angle and got over it. It's better to consciously confront these things than to hide them under the rug and act like they're not fantasies. If that doesn't apply to you, that's fine. But it's dictatorship to apply your standards to anyone else's.

I am very accepting -- not tolerant, but accepting -- of everyone's different kinks. It is what it is, man. I can understand all sorts of perspectives and how you got to that kind of thought process. It simply doesn't bother me.

If it turns you on, it turns me on.