I don't think calling someone a slut or whore is a trivial thing.
It isn't. Nor did I ever say it was.
For me, bein called names is a real turn-on. I AM a slut and a whore in bed for the man I'm with and like all sorts of namecalling and dirty talking. But I see men just bein referred to as BBC and I can't do that. Like your blog said, to me a man is more than just his dick and it's horribly disrespectful to talk about men like that. And the N word, I've never used it. I was taught better growing up. I've never been asked to by a man, to call him that, and I don't think I could. M
I've never been referred to as such, but I've been in scenarios where I
felt like that's all I was. That rubs me the wrong way a little bit. But if I was verbally referred to as a big black cock in the heat of the moment? I'd have no qualms. If my partner said, "Fuck me with your big N-word dick!" No qualms there, either.
I had "moral" (I put "moral" in quotes because, imo, there's no such thing as morality in absolute terms) qualms about these so-called "dehumanizing" things when I met a woman who was into BDSM and got me into it.
I'm psychologically trained, so I can't help -- nor would I want to; it's fun! -- to read into things ("man cannot not communicate"). And for a while I was horrified: Oh my God, what am I doing to this woman?
But then I looked at it from another angle and got over it. It's better to consciously confront these things than to hide them under the rug and act like they're not fantasies. If that doesn't apply to you, that's fine. But it's dictatorship to apply your standards to anyone else's.
I am very accepting -- not
tolerant, but
accepting -- of everyone's different kinks. It is what it is, man. I can understand all sorts of perspectives and how you got to that kind of thought process. It simply doesn't bother me.
If it turns
you on, it turns
me on.