New blog entry up - "You Don't Own Me!"

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Mariposa blanca, Oct 20, 2013.

  1. Mariposa blanca

    Mariposa blanca Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Mixedbutcaramel and sexymomma like this.
  2. Mixedbutcaramel

    Mixedbutcaramel New Member Real Person

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    Liked the blog entry actually. I end up being on a weird part of the scale on this site because I don't want to be a "Black Master" or expunge some sort of "I'm better" mentality. i'm just a mixed/black guy who likes white girls and wants to see what the horizon is on that. Good blog entry! Glad you state your opinion with confidence!
     
  3. Mariposa blanca

    Mariposa blanca Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Thanks for your input. You sound like the nice, down-to-earth type of person I enjoy being around. :)
     
  4. Mixedbutcaramel

    Mixedbutcaramel New Member Real Person

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    There's lots of them I'm sure. Just most try to put on a macho face because its expected. I'm confident I'm not the only human being on here with a bit of human decency left in him :).

    I can see where the mindset of being that guy comes from, and people who want to be "owned". Its safer, consistent and if you're owned you feel like you literally belong somewhere. Its one thing to say "I have a husband" or "I have a Master" instead of "I have a guy". People like to be part of something, and on the flipside if a guy has had people leave on him before being the owner, the holder, the keeper is an empowering feeling. Whatever race or description comes after isn't all that important when the source of it is just being in a position of power and being THE man.

    The desire to be wanted truly does manifest itself in some crazy and very unique ways.
     
  5. Mariposa blanca

    Mariposa blanca Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Oh, yes, I know there are definitely very good folks in this world, and I am lucky enough to count several among my family and friends.

    Very interesting insight on the "being owned" mindset. As I always say, to each their own. Even if I don't agree, I do try to at least understand where the other person is coming from and respect their feelings and opinions. :)
     
  6. Mixedbutcaramel

    Mixedbutcaramel New Member Real Person

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    I'm glad I can count you as one of the few people in the world that can say and mean it :)! A sense of belonging is, to my belief, hard coded into humanity. Some way or the other, people want it and try to get it. Even people we call "introverts" have some method of belonging somehow or somewhere, directly or indirectly. Anyways I won't want to make this post too thinky lol.
     
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  7. jizzdizzmd

    jizzdizzmd New Member

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    (Husband, J. here) We agree!!! We just had a similar conversation this week. While we have not yet become officially active in this lifestyle but are both on board with the idea of going for it. But, for us it is only about sex and pleasure; trying something new and different. For us (monogamous for 20+ yrs) it is about expanding our horizons...trying a few of our fantasies at once (threesome and BBC f0r her). We hesitate mostly because of our fear of affecting our relationship negatively and worried about safety/STDs but more and more we have had a lot of trouble finding the right person physically AND intellectually/personality. Far too often we are finding BBC that want to own or disrespect one or both of us and that isn't happening! She was actually much closer to going for it a month or two ago before communicating with a few potential men that have turned her off a bit.

    She (D.) is very interested in experiencing two men at once ( me and another man). She is also very attracted to certain black men and like most white women has fantasized about being with a black man for many years so for us it is trying the of D's fantasies together. In the beginning she couldn't understand why I would want this kind of threesome instead of two women and me( I want the two female threesome as well but she isn't into it...unfortunately!). For me, I love seeing her having sex and getting off. I can only explain it as the thought of watching her star in a live porn and being a part of a threesome with her as incredibly hot....being able to see her from angles I can't see when she is with me alone. I am a very visual person...D is turned on differently. She loves to read Penthouse Letters (which has been a common conversation opener about fantasies, etc. for us over the years). She read the 50 Shades books and didn't really get into it because of the submissive role of the female and she isn't into and of the S&M stuff... But let her read a few Penthouse Letters about wives being shared, unexpected threesomes and hookups or acting out sexually and she gets all kinds of excited!

    I know it will happen for us at some point but the situation/guy will have to be right for it to work for both of us. But we have no interest in being owned or disrespected. Not judging anyone else that is into that...to each his/her own but we agree...it isn't for us either.

    Thanks M.
    D. likes reading your posts. I think you and D. have a similar approach to it! Keep the posts and blogs coming!

    -J. (& D.)
     
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  8. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    jizz ... if I didn't know any better, I would have sworn your post was written by me, as I've stated exactly your positions on practically every item of your comment. To my wife & me, its specifically about reaching a higher level of sexual fulfillment not attainable by just the two of us ... no romance wanted, no relationship wanted, no emotional involvement, no "ownership" or control ... just a higher level of sexual fulfillment. A few of the guys in our past have had a problem with that ... they seem to desire control, and we've ended up tossing 'em to the curb.

    We've been together over 19 years (including our years dating), and we love swinging, but we do it together ... no separation or individual private meetings. We've found that 3-somes are the easiest to arrange, and produce the most positive results for us. My wife isn't against FFMs, however, just that half the time we have had FFMs the girl involved was more interested in my wife than me. Which, by the way, I would enjoy seeing my wife do a FF, but she is very reluctant at the reciprocation of female oral sex, so she lets the females do her, but I've only seen her do a couple other females. Mac

    ps ... welcome to btow ...
     
  9. jizzdizzmd

    jizzdizzmd New Member

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    Mac, We have read MANY of your posts along the way while lurking around here and reading many different threads. Thanks for your input on the site, nice to see some like-minded people!
     
    Mariposa blanca likes this.
  10. Deathnox25

    Deathnox25 New Member Real Person

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    A little off-topic, but I noticed that when you click on your name in the "About Me" section of your blog, it opens up Google+. It says there are currently 9 people in your circle... Is Google trying to say that there is 9 people in your holes ("circle")? :-P
     
  11. Mariposa blanca

    Mariposa blanca Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Thanks for your kind words about my blog. I'm glad you're enjoying.

    And, yes, Mac always has good words of wisdom to share. I, likewise, always enjoy reading his comments.
     
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  12. Mariposa blanca

    Mariposa blanca Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    That's a vast overestimate. Lol.

    I guess truth is that I just don't have that many google friends. :(
     
  13. oak607

    oak607 Member

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    Good post! Not sure I have much to contribute, I never understood wanting to be owned or being a black bull. Both seem disrespectful to me, no matter what I do not want be refered to as a animal. I do understand being dominate and submissive and how these roles come into sexual play. And as long as it remains just that "play" and both parties are satisfied
     
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  14. willsrvu

    willsrvu Administrator Real Person Gold Member

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    While I'm sure that there are a few people who are in a position to be able to take their fantasies to the extreme and may do so, for the majority, these sort of fantasies are just that- fantasy.

    Even the studs have the same real life considerations to deal with that the women and couples do. Jobs, kids etc. prevent them living life as full time "masters" just as they do the "slaves". The majority of owners "own" their slaves under defined, negotiated terms, maybe they get together every other weekend or whatever to do X,Y and/or Z.

    More importantly, all this master/slave stuff is fantasy nonsense except for the few of us that actually do live in full time D/s relationships, but even then real life D/s looks little like the flights of fancy that most of the dreamers post about on these websites. Believe me, average full time D/s is not much different than a traditional "vanilla" marriage with the exception that both partners have chosen that one of them is the leader and primary decision maker.

    Sure, we have protocols that are established to govern basic conduct and rituals which may set us slightly apart in public as well as private and we might play kinkier games than many others, but that's what it ultimately is- playing games. My Wife might call me at work to tell me what she wants me to do when I get home, but she would never command me to take a day off from work just to "play". Our fantasy life exists within and as a part of "real" life, NOT in place of it.
    Being Mistress and slave does not suddenly make the need to earn a living, pay taxes, do housekeeping, auto repairs, etc., disappear.

    At the end of the day, my Wife is fully aware that, while she "owns" my love, adoration and devotion as well as my obedience within our negotiated limits, she doesn't really "own" me.
     
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