wannabekuk
Male
We have been together 10 years, i opened up to her about my group sex fantasy around 2010, she said maybe in ten years but i thought it was just to shut me up. She didnt really grow up conservative but she has that mindset about sex...or at least had. We broke up for most of 2012. I explored sexually around that time, engaging in a few threesomes that were awesome. I realized I still loved her and got back with her. She said she did like a guy from her dorm but nothing happened. I told her it was ok since we broke up but she said nothing happened even though her friends tried to make it happen. I believe her because shes a bad liar lol.
Things have started changing though. Shes been way more open about sex lately after listening to this podcast show about sex. She even apologized to me for ever making me feel judged for my sexual desires. She told me about a bi 4some her friend had. Whereas before she might have said it with judgement but she didnt do any of that. She said if you are into that kind of stuff "you gotta own it" I do think shes too shy, im thinking about telling her soon. She is doing things she hasnt before. She rode a wall mounted dildo where before she didnt like to but she said she did it because she knows i like it and its also fun. She even said shes going to buy a dildo for herself where I bought them all for her before. Well shes gonna get it when she moves out and on her own. We dont live together yet. She also went to visit a male friend in portland, on her own. She stayed over at his place. I didnt (and still dont) think anything would happen because shes said she thinks hes gay and didnt see him "that way". Still traveling on her own is pretty big. Recently we have also solidified our commitment to each other and we agreed we are going to get married within 5 years after our careers stabilize (we are in our 20s). This is big because I told her I didnt believe in marriage or ******* but Ive turned around on both since I finally came to my senses and realized shes the one for me. I've changed, shes changed. Though she has changed more, she even asked me if all her changing has upset me and I said no. There will always be growing pains but thats ok.
We are taking a trip together soon and over drinks I was thinking of telling her again about my desires. I read somewhere that instead of telling your girlfriend/wife about how much she will enjoy it you should instead go with how much you will enjoy seeing her be pleasured and how fulfilling it will be for you (and by association her). Is that how I should go about it?
Some things I worry about
1. She will be weirded out by it
2. She will see me as less of a man. (this isnt too likely as we dont really go for that type of old style rigid gender roles like men cant cry, women should make more money than their husbands etc. but its somthing I cant not fear)
3. She will think I want to fuck other women (I dont)
My plan is that I'd be happy if we start within ten years but I would like to incorporate it into pillow talk soon if not now depending on how receptive she is. Maybe go to a swingers club and just watch, maybe go to a bar or club and see if shes hit on. Maybe dance with another guy when we go to vegas. I did suggest I wanted to go get a legit massage next time we go to vegas (i didnt mention her at all) and she said "i dont like other people touching me" which kinda deflated my hopes about her sexual openness.
What do you guys think?
Things have started changing though. Shes been way more open about sex lately after listening to this podcast show about sex. She even apologized to me for ever making me feel judged for my sexual desires. She told me about a bi 4some her friend had. Whereas before she might have said it with judgement but she didnt do any of that. She said if you are into that kind of stuff "you gotta own it" I do think shes too shy, im thinking about telling her soon. She is doing things she hasnt before. She rode a wall mounted dildo where before she didnt like to but she said she did it because she knows i like it and its also fun. She even said shes going to buy a dildo for herself where I bought them all for her before. Well shes gonna get it when she moves out and on her own. We dont live together yet. She also went to visit a male friend in portland, on her own. She stayed over at his place. I didnt (and still dont) think anything would happen because shes said she thinks hes gay and didnt see him "that way". Still traveling on her own is pretty big. Recently we have also solidified our commitment to each other and we agreed we are going to get married within 5 years after our careers stabilize (we are in our 20s). This is big because I told her I didnt believe in marriage or ******* but Ive turned around on both since I finally came to my senses and realized shes the one for me. I've changed, shes changed. Though she has changed more, she even asked me if all her changing has upset me and I said no. There will always be growing pains but thats ok.
We are taking a trip together soon and over drinks I was thinking of telling her again about my desires. I read somewhere that instead of telling your girlfriend/wife about how much she will enjoy it you should instead go with how much you will enjoy seeing her be pleasured and how fulfilling it will be for you (and by association her). Is that how I should go about it?
Some things I worry about
1. She will be weirded out by it
2. She will see me as less of a man. (this isnt too likely as we dont really go for that type of old style rigid gender roles like men cant cry, women should make more money than their husbands etc. but its somthing I cant not fear)
3. She will think I want to fuck other women (I dont)
My plan is that I'd be happy if we start within ten years but I would like to incorporate it into pillow talk soon if not now depending on how receptive she is. Maybe go to a swingers club and just watch, maybe go to a bar or club and see if shes hit on. Maybe dance with another guy when we go to vegas. I did suggest I wanted to go get a legit massage next time we go to vegas (i didnt mention her at all) and she said "i dont like other people touching me" which kinda deflated my hopes about her sexual openness.
What do you guys think?
