Me and my girl

Vinny

Male
From
Iceland
Me and my girlfriend for 8 years have been having some relationship problem, ever since we had our baby girl, 3 years ago. The sex became a lot less frequent, sometimes 3-4 months went by without any sex... Before it was always fantastic... but anyway, some years ago i told her about my fantasy about seeing her with a black guy and at first she just played along, i knew she wasn´t that hot to the idea, she was raised in Russia where there were not many black guys around. But maybe a year ago i felt she got a lot wetter than before when i talked about interracial sex and she even told me about some dreams she had about her with 2 black guys... yeah, i liked it a lot! Yesterday she wanted to have a talk about our relationship because it really has been pretty bad, we get along but not much more than that. She wants to try and open our relationship and see if that would do our relationship good. If not, then it was doomed anyway. I asked if she could think about beginning with a three-some and then think about doing something more as individuals. She said that she could imaging her with me and another girl and even another man. I asked her about if the guy could be black she said yes, for sure, if he was her type! So... that´s where we are at... tell you more later, i´m writing this pretty fast since my girlfriend just went out to a supermarket and is coming home pretty soon. She has no idea about this site.
 
I know everyone has an opinion and Im sure you dont really want to hear them but with that being said.... If you are already having issues in your relationship, this wont make it better. My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for a long time and if you arent rock solid when you begin, then this will drive a wedge between you that could be impossible to recover from... just a thought.
 
Me and my girlfriend for 8 years have been having some relationship problem, ever since we had our baby girl, 3 years ago. The sex became a lot less frequent, sometimes 3-4 months went by without any sex... Before it was always fantastic... but anyway, some years ago i told her about my fantasy about seeing her with a black guy and at first she just played along, i knew she wasn´t that hot to the idea, she was raised in Russia where there were not many black guys around. But maybe a year ago i felt she got a lot wetter than before when i talked about interracial sex and she even told me about some dreams she had about her with 2 black guys... yeah, i liked it a lot! Yesterday she wanted to have a talk about our relationship because it really has been pretty bad, we get along but not much more than that. She wants to try and open our relationship and see if that would do our relationship good. If not, then it was doomed anyway. I asked if she could think about beginning with a three-some and then think about doing something more as individuals. She said that she could imaging her with me and another girl and even another man. I asked her about if the guy could be black she said yes, for sure, if he was her type! So... that´s where we are at... tell you more later, i´m writing this pretty fast since my girlfriend just went out to a supermarket and is coming home pretty soon. She has no idea about this site.

If you care about your relationship and not just fulfilling your fantasy, work on your relationship before you even think about involving other people.
 
Me and my girlfriend for 8 years have been having some relationship problem, ever since we had our baby girl, 3 years ago. The sex became a lot less frequent, sometimes 3-4 months went by without any sex.

You didn't ask for my 2 cents, either, but I totally agree with BTG & bm ! Involving outside partners, while your relationship is under stress, will only create more stress ... either for you, her, or both. So identify the problem first; I know 8 years is a long time for a woman (who's had YOUR baby) to have to wait on a man to make her his bride, and make it all "official". Also, women tend to go through similar changes after having a baby. If she's a working mom, she has 2 full-time jobs, and that alone tends to comflict with the enjoyment of sex. So, maybe one of these are the psychological issues she has, that she's not admitting to you. Women just tend to want more from a relationship than what a man wants. Wouldn't hurt to check that out! Good luck!

pic_twocentsWorth2.jpg anyways .... Mac ;)
 
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Well... thank you all for your two cents about this issue, i do appreciate it. I agree with you but my girlfriend wants to try this. We have talked about the reasons for our problems over and over again, cried a lot together and really tried to find the source but with no luck. I think it started as a post birth depression (or whatever it´s called) but then developed into something more complexed. She has mentioned that she really thinks i´m doing a bad job being the "man of the house", meaning i should care more about our surroundings, cleaning and such and i have been trying to get better at that (i just don´t think so much about it as i probably should, i look at other things...). We´ve been having some big time financial problems too so that´s a buzz killer right there for her but i always thought that sex and intimacy didn´t cost a thing but she disagrees. Her idea is that by opening up to other people (and she´s not just talking about sexually, just open up for getting to know new and interesting people, stepping out of the box of "relationship") maybe then we learn that we should try and save our relationship or that we see it was doomed anyway.

Damn, why does life have to be so complexed? :)
 
You didn't ask for my 2 cents, either, but I totally agree with BTG & bm ! Involving outside partners, while your relationship is under stress, will only create more stress ... either for you, her, or both. So identify the problem first; I know 8 years is a long time for a woman (who's had YOUR baby) to have to wait on a man to make her his bride, and make it all "official". Also, women tend to go through similar changes after having a baby. If she's a working mom, she has 2 full-time jobs, and that alone tends to comflict with the enjoyment of sex. So, maybe one of these are the psychological issues she has, that she's not admitting to you. Women just tend to want more from a relationship than what a man wants. Wouldn't hurt to check that out! Good luck!

View attachment 367186 anyways .... Mac ;)

About you saying 8 years is a long time for a woman to have to wait... we got engaged in 2008 but she said once that she doesn´t think marriage is such a big thing... i on the other hand would like to get married but it´s not a vital factor.
 
About you saying 8 years is a long time for a woman to have to wait... we got engaged in 2008 but she said once that she doesn´t think marriage is such a big thing... i on the other hand would like to get married but it´s not a vital factor.
Then I for one wish you well and hope you and her find your happy place.
 
.... I think it started as a post birth depression (or whatever it´s called) but then developed into something more complexed. She has mentioned that she really thinks i´m doing a bad job being the "man of the house", meaning i should care more about our surroundings, cleaning and such and i have been trying to get better at that .... We´ve been having some big time financial problems too so that´s a buzz killer right there for her but i always thought that sex and intimacy didn´t cost a thing but she disagrees. Her idea is that by opening up to other people (and she´s not just talking about sexually, just open up for getting to know new and interesting people, stepping out of the box of "relationship") maybe then we learn that we should try and save our relationship or that we see it was doomed anyway. :)

Your follow-up sure provides a lot more info about "issues", which is what I suspected was the cause of her change. Post-birth depression, finances, domestic responsibilities, etc ... man, these are all often stated issues with couples after a new baby arrives, particularly for the women. These can be worked out, but both of you have to commit to working on them together. Unfortunately, the one experiencing all these negative emotions often tend to not want to make the effort. The negative chemical imbalances and negative attitude seem to feed off each other.

She's got a point in disagreeing with you regarding "sex and intimacy not costing anything"; intimacy can be an emotional strain, particularly when you have other issues. And being a mom, as well as a household provider, does put a strain on her, emotionally. I imagine she thinks that a lot more of the family responsibilities are resting more on her shoulders than yours.

I'm just curious, however, how your (both of you) physical health is? Are you guys in shape, exercising, etc, or are you more out of shape, carrying 25-40 lbs more than you should? If the 2 of you have some issues in this regard, this is an area (exercising such as walks, workouts, etc) you can do together, and it does elevate your positive attitudes when doing it. Just a thought! Mac
 
We are both in fine shapes, she is slim, doing joga exercises regularly and i´m playing football, floorball and basketball 3 times a week so that´s not the issue :) I might loose about 10 lbs though and i´m doing that now so not worried about that. Thanks for the advises man :)
 
So... my girlfriend just went out with a girlfriend of hers, dressed very sexy (1/2 see through t-shirt, no bra!), a lot more sexy (mainstream sexy i mean) than ever before. She said she was in no mood for dancing and that they were just going to sit and talk at some bars but who knew how the night would turn out. She also took condoms with her! I got mixed feelings. Anxious but also fucking horny! I think it´s only about 10% possible she will go through with it with someone or even less than that but who knows, i´ll keep you posted if you´re interested :)
Ps. If she does something with someone i hope he´ll be black hehe...
 
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