May have reached a dead end.

#1
Over the past year, my wife and I (almost 20 years together) have discussed my desire to see her with an endowed black man. Not necessarily in a cuckold type fashion, but more towards a hotwife sharing type of scenario. She has found the idea or fantasy a turn on, which we role play, but hesitant on going forward.

In an attempt to try a different approach, I put together a slide presentation pertaining to the all the aspects of a first time BBC experience, with resource links for information about the lifestyle and feedback from others about their experiences living the lifestyle. After she watched my presentation, she thanked me for sharing and being so thorough; even learning some things in the process, but still is adamant that she could not see herself participating in such an act.

So, there it is. Unless anyone else has a suggestion. Maybe sex therapy? The only option left I see is to respect her wishes and subdue my desires...
 
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MacNfries

Male
Sweet & Cordial
Gold Member
From
NC, US
#3
So, there it is. Unless anyone else has a suggestion. Maybe sex therapy? The only option left I see is to respect her wishes and subdue my desires...
A therapist would laugh at you; if you're starving for humiliation, however, I reckon that would be a good place to get it, at $300 and hour.
I imagine there are every bit as much of a downside to this activity as there is an upside, and I doubt you dug into the downsize as deeply as you did the upside because it is something you want. So, your common sense & rationality are being blinded. If she cucks you, its going to be because you've pushed her into hunting your replacement, not trying to satisfy your fantasy.
Your last sentence makes a ton of sense, I say "go with it!"
 

Mexi-Man

Male
Gold Member
From
WI, US
#4
Over the past year, my wife and I (almost 20 years together) have discussed my desire to see her with an endowed black man. Not necessarily in a cuckold type fashion, but more towards a hotwife sharing type of scenario. She has found the idea or fantasy a turn on, which we role play, but hesitant on going forward.

In an attempt to try a different approach, I put together a slide presentation pertaining to the all the aspects of a first time BBC experience, with resource links for information about the lifestyle and feedback from others about their experiences living the lifestyle. After she watched my presentation, she thanked me for sharing and being so thorough; even learning some things in the process, but still is adamant that she could not see herself participating in such an act.

So, there it is. Unless anyone else has a suggestion. Maybe sex therapy? The only option left I see is to respect her wishes and subdue my desires...
Hard out here for a cuck.
 
#5
Over the past year, my wife and I (almost 20 years together) have discussed my desire to see her with an endowed black man. Not necessarily in a cuckold type fashion, but more towards a hotwife sharing type of scenario. She has found the idea or fantasy a turn on, which we role play, but hesitant on going forward.

In an attempt to try a different approach, I put together a slide presentation pertaining to the all the aspects of a first time BBC experience, with resource links for information about the lifestyle and feedback from others about their experiences living the lifestyle. After she watched my presentation, she thanked me for sharing and being so thorough; even learning some things in the process, but still is adamant that she could not see herself participating in such an act.

So, there it is. Unless anyone else has a suggestion. Maybe sex therapy? The only option left I see is to respect her wishes and subdue my desires...
Did you tell her that you love her so much that you will be there to hold her hand through out the entire experience? Did you tell her that you will not leave her side in the moment and will kiss her tenderly if she agrees?
 
#8
Over the past year, my wife and I (almost 20 years together) have discussed my desire to see her with an endowed black man. Not necessarily in a cuckold type fashion, but more towards a hotwife sharing type of scenario. She has found the idea or fantasy a turn on, which we role play, but hesitant on going forward.

In an attempt to try a different approach, I put together a slide presentation pertaining to the all the aspects of a first time BBC experience, with resource links for information about the lifestyle and feedback from others about their experiences living the lifestyle. After she watched my presentation, she thanked me for sharing and being so thorough; even learning some things in the process, but still is adamant that she could not see herself participating in such an act.

So, there it is. Unless anyone else has a suggestion. Maybe sex therapy? The only option left I see is to respect her wishes and subdue my desires...
Well like you said there are two people involved in this process and if she only finds it a fun game and thought versus an actual thing she would like to try you are better to back off before you make even roleplaying the situation no longer enjoyable for the two of you. Did you really put together a presentation and slideshow?
 

JerseyGirl

Female
Gold Member
From
NJ, US
#10
  • I did Jersey Girl! I did skip over that part. Someone else wrote that his attempt sounded like a sales pitch. Do you have a problem with my being sympathetic of his plight?
I don't have a problem with you being sympathetic of his plight. I have a problem with people who can not accept that a woman has decided she doesn't want to do something so they continue to pressure her. When that happens it's no longer about love or "wanting it for her." It's only about him.
 
#12
I think Ghostman's point is that the approach seems very mechanical, but not loving and considerate.
Thank you asia_fever, thank you. I sometimes have trouble expressing myself. I really thank you for your understanding. And miss JerseyGirl, what you stated is absolutely true. Sometimes the ones who claim to love us the most fail to respect boundaries and, that in itself feels very condescending. No person should feel condescended or taken for granted in their relationships; much less in their personal lives and it their homes.
 

JerseyGirl

Female
Gold Member
From
NJ, US
#13
Thank you asia_fever, thank you. I sometimes have trouble expressing myself. I really thank you for your understanding. And miss JerseyGirl, what you stated is absolutely true. Sometimes the ones who claim to love us the most fail to respect boundaries and, that in itself feels very condescending. No person should feel condescended or taken for granted in their relationships; much less in their personal lives and it their homes.

That's quite all right. I apologize if I misunderstood what you were trying to say.
 
#15
You might want to take a detour with your fantasies and see if you can get her interested in role play a bdsm scene. My wife was reluctant when we started, but within a few months she began to trust me completely and naturally fell into a totally submissive role.

It is still all role play, but gets very intense and serious when we are within our roles. She knows she can quit at any time, but is truly hooked on it.

Once I was able to break down her sexual walls through being dominate, the flood gates really opened. Anything I ask of her, she does without hesitation.

From there, we progressed into her serving my friends when ordered, being tied up and gangbanged, etc. Even her recruiting her friends for me to fuck.

She went from being totally against involving others, to now seeing being shared or gangbang as a reward for her being an obedient submissive.

There are tons of resources on the web on how to start. It's a different path, but lots of fun going down it. Take it slow it's all about the journey, not the destination.

http://dominantguide.com/2645/ask-anything-a-simple-scene-to-get-us-started/
 

mywayintermsofsex

Male
Gold Member
From
Austria
#16
Apparently you skipped over the part where she said she was adamant about not doing it.
Funny how at reading this i was reminded of a joke...

http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/01/Sep/diplomat.html :D

But more seriously, of course a lady`s wish needs to be respected! ImO a good husband would naturally do that.

Let`s not overlook the OP also said...
(...) The only option left I see is to respect her wishes and subdue my desires...
:)
 

JerseyGirl

Female
Gold Member
From
NJ, US
#17
Let`s not overlook the OP also said...
:)
Let's not overlook the fact that before he said that he was still soliciting opinions on how to get what he wants. Respecting her wishes and subduing his desires was a last resort.

Again- if two people want to do this and are in agreement then if it makes them happy- by all means do it. But one of the people here doesn't want to do this. In fact he says she adamant about not wanting this. But he just can't let it go. And people want to give him advice on how to make her want something that she doesn't want.
 
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#18
You should respect her wishes and try not to push the issue every day or couple of days. What I would do is reasearch a few clubs/ bars in the area that are known to cater to the "black" culture. Find one that you seem the most interested in. Surprise your wife with something hot and sexy like from the heals on up. Tell her you are going out on a date and take her to said establishment. Now she may be a little timid at first but just make the night about her and I'm sure everything will fall into place!!!
 

Torpedo

Male
Gold Member
#19
I don't have a problem with you being sympathetic of his plight. I have a problem with people who can not accept that a woman has decided she doesn't want to do something so they continue to pressure her. When that happens it's no longer about love or "wanting it for her." It's only about him.
Over the past year, my wife and I (almost 20 years together) have discussed my desire to see her with an endowed black man. Not necessarily in a cuckold type fashion, but more towards a hotwife sharing type of scenario. She has found the idea or fantasy a turn on, which we role play, but hesitant on going forward.

In an attempt to try a different approach, I put together a slide presentation pertaining to the all the aspects of a first time BBC experience, with resource links for information about the lifestyle and feedback from others about their experiences living the lifestyle. After she watched my presentation, she thanked me for sharing and being so thorough; even learning some things in the process, but still is adamant that she could not see herself participating in such an act.

So, there it is. Unless anyone else has a suggestion. Maybe sex therapy? The only option left I see is to respect her wishes and subdue my desires...
Her wishes aren't your wishes you need to respect that. Apparently she finds your abilities between the sheets adequate for her needs. The majority of women that have shared my bed have done so because they weren't getting what they wanted/needed at home. If she is happy with with what she is getting then accept the compliment and respect her wishes. Curling her toes wouldn't hurt either
 
#20
Let's not overlook the fact that before he said that he was still soliciting opinions on how to get what he wants. Respecting her wishes and subdoing his desires was a last resort.

Again- if two people want to do this and are in agreement then if it makes them happy- by all means do it. But one of the people here doesn't want to do this. In fact he says she adamant about not wanting this. But he just can't let it go. And people want to give him advice on how to make her want something that she doesn't want.
There are so many fun and different aspects to sex, it is stupid to obsess over a single fantasy. I totally agree if she is against it, he needs to back off. You can guide a person but can never try to force them.

10 years ago, If I would have told my wife, "I want you to fuck a black man" she would have been upset and surely would have refused.

At that point our sex life was kind of stale. We had tried many things to keep it fresh, but nothing really stuck until I suggested we role playing and master / submissive type play. In about 2 months time her entire attitude for sex changed. It was like a light switch that went on. She went from "don't tell me what to do" to "use me, I am here for your pleasure". From prude soccer mom to slut overnight.

Most women want a man that will lead and be dominant in the bedroom. They would much prefer it to be their husband, and not a random black guy off the street. If he can build her trust in his sexual leadership, she may become more open, her sexual walls will come down, and she may be willing to explore different aspect of sex she would never consider today.

Look at some of the women here. Once they are with a dominant black man, they open up to doing more and more. If the husband steps up as the dominate person in the bedroom, it can have the same affect.
 
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