I appreciate your encite and I thank you for sharing your knowledge.
still I would love to watch or get involved if possible.
Though I would love to offer my woman THATS not possible.
discreet because I want it that way.
Do you throw or attend parties?
Not into parties, at least not the type you are thinking of.
Why don't you suggest to your girlfriend that the two of you bring in another guy to do a three way (menage a trois)?Not as in cuckolding, but as two guys both doing everything they can to give her a good time.
While not exactly the same as simply having your girl fuck another guy while you just sit there watching like most guys want to do, you would be doing what a good cuckold does: you actually get involved and do things to add to her pleasure.
Eat her pussy while she is getting fucked from behind, caress her breasts while he eats her, maybe team up and give her a double penetration. Use your imagination and whatever part of her isn't being stimulated by the other guy, you take care of. The happier you make the experience for her is the more receptive she will be to making you happy as well by playing a part in your fantasies. I'm not saying to expect it to be quid pro quo, just that she will probably be more inclined to consider doing the things that you desire.
If you can get her into doing this and she enjoys it, then its just a question of finding a black guy that she might be attracted to, if the IR thing is really all that important to you.
As a single guy looking for a couple to play with, which is what you are doing even if you are hoping to find a woman to let you tag along while she fucks other guys, you're on the bad side of the odds. Most couples are looking for "bulls", not submissive guys making believe they are cuckolds. Not saying it's impossible, just that it's pretty rare.
If you and your girl are that adventurous sexually as to have an open relationship, I think your best bet is to expand her sexual adventures by becoming involved with them and see where they take the two of you. The more things she tries and finds that she enjoys, the more likely that eventually she will be willing to try some of the things you would like her to do.
Stop focusing on the things you want for now and focus on whatever it is that turns her on. Sometimes the faster way to get somewhere is the route that looks longer.